Topic Tuesday: Navigating Fatherhood and Education with Robert Taylor

0:00 Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Kickback. I am your host, The Dude, and as I say with every conversation that we have, we will let you say almost anything you want to say on here. We just don't do racism. We don't do racism of any form or fashion. So if you have some races to say Please keep it to yourself In all forms of fashion Keep it to yourself And we just ask you to sit back And have a wonderful ride Today is Tuesday And you know on Tuesdays we do Topic Tuesday So we always have A wonderful conversation With a wonderful human being So Just sit back Enjoy the ride And this is going to be another, Topic Tuesday Dave how are you today my brother I'm doing, Swimmingly well my brother How are you doing today I'm doing well he said swimmingly well Are you doing swimmingly well Because it's It is raining outside Is that why you're doing swimmingly well, It is a little moist outside It's not raining to the point where we could actually Go swimming out there but Yeah no I don't think that expression.

1:25 Swimmingly well okay my brother if you give me a moment i'm making it you're making it if you give me a moment i'm gonna play making it you're making it i'm gonna give you i'm gonna play the intro song for a moment while i i have to take care of something just real quick no problem, The Kickback, the place of your brothers. Music. Yeah The Kickback, the place of your brothers A place for brothers. A place for brothers, The kickback A place for brothers, The kickback A place for brothers The kickback A place for brothers All righty I'm back How have you been my brother?

2:31 Man it's all good man God is good he's still in the blessing business I got to play pickleball today So I am doing great Yes sir He is always most definitely in the blessing business, and we are blessed to be able and have him as our father, to have him as our father and to bless us the abundant way. To bless us the abundant way. Man, I'm going through this training, man, and it's going. And with time, you know, with anything, you get relaxed and you get a better understanding of where and what God's trying to do in your life.

3:14 And sometimes people can be a distraction away from the goal that God has set for you or set forth in front of you. And you have to get yourself away from those distractions. Or sometimes they are teachable moments where God is trying to teach you a lesson. And sometimes just life, anger, managing emotions, whatever it may be. Sometimes it's simply just a lesson of managing who you are and understanding the great power that has been bestowed upon you mm-hmm you know I'm just like some of these people are just like you get under my skin I can't I can't deal with you but on a level of humanity it's like okay maybe God's trying to tell me something or show me something that I need to change within myself it's not particularly that person, maybe it's me.

4:23 Maybe it's something that I'm not seeing or something that I'm not doing that's letting this person infect me. And maybe I need to look internally and say, hey, what am I doing? Because a lot of times we like to point the finger at everyone else and say, Oh, it's their fault or it's his fault or her fault or the group's fault. But really, in all honesty, God is trying to reveal to you the greatness and the goodness that he has for you. And there's a lesson of humility in whatever is happening in the moment.

5:04 Oh, yeah, most definitely. Yeah, I think as humans, we have a we have a tendency to want to control or manage certain things in our realm. And I think we get frustrated and angry when things don't go the way we desire them to go, I'm speaking for self. I'm preaching to myself. Hey, I was going to say most definitely looking in the mirror as I say this. And I'm talking to the man in the mirror. And sometimes you just have to when it doesn't go the way you want it to go. Sometimes you just got to let go and enjoy the ride. Right. Right. And I think in some instances and in some cases, it's hard to let go and just enjoy the ride.

5:51 Because as you said, in so many instances, we want to be in control. We want to be we want to control the narrative. We want to be the people that running our own race when in actuality God is the coach. Exactly. God's the coach. But we want to be the runner, the coach, the water boy, the running back, the tail, you know, the tailback. You know, we want to play all positions and in life, sometimes that can be very overwhelming trying to play all of the positions and trying to be everything and everybody.

6:33 Yeah, we're not built for that. But we think we are. We think we're built for that. We think that we are, we're built to be a whole entire squad when we're built to be just one player on the team. An important player because we all have our roles in life that we need to play. And we all have a particular formation in which we should be lining up in. But sometimes we want to, we want to play the whole line. When you lose the game Then it's like. That was you ringing That was my oldest boy calling in I keep forgetting We do this He knows This is what we go by This is our vision, Creativity, action, respect Alright.

7:30 Mr. Taylor Looks like Mr. Taylor is coming on the line I know. I don't know if he's finished with what he's doing or what. He might be preparing to come in since he's open. Then he's coming. Yeah, I'm around. Can you hear me? OK. All right. I'm sorry. I am finished. I know the call now that I am. I can hear you guys. All right. Well, welcome to the show, Mr. Taylor. How are you this afternoon? I'm doing well Thank you So what is now What is the program that we're doing Called now, I'm not sure what you're referring to. I'm sorry. No, I said, what's the program that you're finishing? You said you were just finishing a program.

8:19 Wow. So, yes, I am. I'm actually at work. I serve as an instructor and chair of the admissions committee for our master of public health program here at McHerry. And we had a informational where we were providing information to students, prospective students tonight. Right. So we have some students on the line that ask them questions. And so I made myself available. I had a co-worker who was ill today. And so I had to step in for her. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. As as I have read some things, you are district one for MSPN. Yeah. Yeah.

9:01 MNPS. Yes, yes, yes. District one. And I also heard about that, that you were on the board at Meharry and that you ran a couple other programs. I read a few things from your bio and you seemed like a very interesting young man and a hardworking young man. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. So we're here tonight. So what is what is your goal for for the for your district and what's the goal on improving education? Yeah, I think my district in particular has just suffered from disparate treatment for decades.

9:48 And so one of my goals is just to draw additional attention to some of the the issues that have kind of plagued our community specifically. Talking about our reading scores amongst African-American boys, as well as our graduation rates and our ACT scores. It doesn't make sure that our high school students are ready for college and career by the time they finish their 12 or 13 plus years in MMPFs with us. Right. So what are we doing? Because there are a lot of students in low poverty areas that are not reading at grade level, what is the school district doing to try to get these students to grade level?

10:34 Because in the past, there was no one there to fight for students in low property areas. I cannot hear you. For some reason, it's breaking up. Oh, you can't hear me? I'm sorry. That's okay. Hold on one moment. If you can hear me, hold on. Can you hear me better now? There you go that's much better Joe Yeah that's great That's great. I was saying that there are a lot of students in low parbish areas that are reading below their grade level. What are we doing to try to bring those students up to the level of reading they should be at?

11:17 Yeah, I think there's a lot of things that we've done. The interesting part is that COVID gave us an opportunity to kind of test out a lot of the things that we had talked about doing for years. So additional summer programming, as well as having Saturday school for students that need remediation and then being able to provide additional supports in the building to deal with some of the social emotional pieces that students deal with, depending on their their background in the household. Yeah, I was I saw a story this afternoon about the new I think it's Roberts Academy that they have over at Vanderbilt, where they're catering straight to students that are dyslexic.

12:00 And my daughter, she's in Montgomery County, but when she was in Davidson County, and this was years ago, they could not diagnose her. But once she got to Montgomery County, they figured out really fast that she was dyslexic. What are we doing? And I'm a parent. What are we doing to try to get those students in a proper, I think it's called an IEP, because my daughter has an IEP, and get those children diagnosed so they will not be left behind? Because a lot of those children, the stats say that they are getting left behind or they're dropping out of school because they're not being diagnosed at an early age.

12:45 You hear me? Okay, sorry. I couldn't find the mute button there. Sorry. Yes, so you're correct about the IEP process. I think that one of the issues that I've recognized, I used to serve as a family involvement specialist in the school system, and one of the issues that I recognized was that the parents at times are hesitant to have their child tested to determine whether or not there is a potential disability or what have you. And I think that one of the things that we can do is provide more accurate information around the positive benefits of having our children tested so that we can access the resources that are available to them and access them at an early age so that they can, those systems put in place to where the long-term ramifications aren't as set in place in their lives.

13:40 So that's one of the things that I hope that we can do is just educate parents on the process, help them to understand that there are some positive things around having their child tested early and making sure that they can receive the services that we have available for them. All right. So, I mean, those were a couple of questions about business. Now let's get down to a little bit of friendship. Now give everybody a background of who Robert Taylor is, where he's from, you know, where you went to high school, college, Fish University, and a couple of other places you went to. Because like I said, I read up on you. And you have a pretty wonderful resume. And you also have people that have enjoyed working under you.

14:26 You're a great timekeeper. And you're a great team member. Yeah. And can you please forgive me? I have a student that is reaching out to me right now. And can you give me two minutes to speak with them? And I just want to get that information. Just mute yourself, mute yourself and just take care of whatever you really need to take care of, sir. Okay, I apologize. Thank you. Hey, go ahead. Can you hear me, Dave? I'm right behind you. All righty, my brother. I don't know. My wife says that our internet is having some issues, and I don't know why I wasn't coming off very well.

15:07 You had that machine sound. Oh, I had the machine sound. That's why my wife was like, something's wrong with the internet, baby. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, that's the world in which we live in, man. Everybody's battling for gig speed, man. Very true. That is that is a very true statement. Everybody's battling for gig speed, man. Yeah, man. You were saying something earlier that made me think of, you know, when you talk about everybody wanting to be in control and and being a superstar. My favorite person, I wouldn't say person, but my favorite example of a role player. I'm a huge Chicago Bulls fan from back in the day when we had Michael Jordan on the court.

15:50 But you won't believe it or not, but the one that I enjoyed, besides Michael and Scotty. Scotty? You about to say Scotty. I'm sorry. Yeah, but no, not Scotty. I enjoyed Steve Kerr. Was the one dude on the floor. You didn't see him too much. He wasn't on the reels, but when the last two minutes of the game came down, that little joker, he hadn't shot nothing all game. Maybe he shot it, he shot it, he shot there. But the last two minutes of the game, when they double-teaming Jordan and covering Scottie, I mean, Kerr is all alone over there on the wing, just ready to drop a three.

16:30 And I used to love that because, My man would drive the lane and dish it off to Kerr, and Kerr would just shoot that thing. It'd be like the other team, the look on their face, like, oh, come on, now we got to stop him too? So, yeah, I enjoyed watching Kerr. He was a great role player. Wasn't he kind of like the microwave, Vinny, Johnson for the Pistons? Yeah, yeah, similar. He would come off the bench, and they'd be like, oh, man. So what's going on, Brother Morris? How you been doing? I've been doing one day at a time. trusting and and seeking and just uh being patient i'm at a crock road and um, all right i'm just at a crock road i found out like we gotta get you sound like we gotta get you on the line on friday and probably i'm not gonna go i'm not gonna go there just pray for my dad i just found out you know he just turned 89 on october the 6th but he had cancer in his uh.

17:29 In his leg and they just stopped the chemo said it spread to his lungs they're giving him two months so i'm about to make that trip up lord it's all good i'm i'm comfortable in the fact that i did the best i could do you know right you know all right well for what we'll keep you in your We'll keep you and your family in our prayers But tonight for Topic Tuesday We've got Mr. Robert Taylor on the line He's I was listening I was trying to tap in some stuff The brother And the thing that he said At the end was trying to Reach the parents There's a systematic I think in our communities African American communities There's a stereotype there's this little edge of when you start talking about mental health when you start talking about life insurance when you start talking about your child might not you know might be dyslexic all those things you're we're very very guarded often and then when you got a lot of single women is raising these children the frustrations levels that they're dealing with on a day-to-day basis is because they're the single parent and they're picking up where you understand where I'm going.

18:55 You know, my mother was a single parent and I saw her work two jobs, go to school, you know, and raise two kids and try to do it without beating up on my daddy. You know what I'm saying? Right. but also trying to you know you know encourage me teach me to be a better man without you know you know because you know in those single homes sometimes little boys especially, We get hit with that. You just like your daddy. Yeah, man. And hopefully don't they don't add that. You're no good part to it, too. Right. Yeah. Right. What's wrong with your little bad? They don't know how to talk to boys. A lot of the women.

19:41 And I want to share this on Free South Friday because it came across to me and I'm a park. It a lot of women want the authority of a man they want the responsibility of a child and they want all the perks that come with being a woman and trying to incorporate write that down write that down because why don't you bring that back up on friday yes i'm gonna show friday because i opened up the show on friday and nobody was there i came here i came here like six minutes late doc and i I said, oh, man. I waited, and I waited, and I waited. I'm so sorry. I waited. Nobody showed up.

20:25 Dave had some personal stuff he had to take care of. That brother was doing what he needed to do for him and his family, but I was there. I was waiting for everybody, and nobody showed up. I sat there for 20 minutes. Nobody showed up. I said, I guess nobody wanted to come in the room and talk. Yeah yeah well i think i signed in at like it was like 36 after so i was about 15 minutes late i was caught up and was on another phone call i was trying to click over but i was stuck and and by the time i did get off and got on on it you just ended i was like oh man you know but it's all good it's all good all right mr taylor are you back on the line no mr taylor's still Taking care of his person But write this down If you would To ask him How.

21:19 You know this needs to be nationwide I know we're dealing with Tennessee You know I'm from Detroit whatever But at the end of the day This is pervasive throughout the nation I believe in the black community And if we don't Get a grip on communication And and lowering our we've been so guarded against each other we don't trust no test, period what you gonna do with my kid what's going on, that's because of our lack of knowledge we can't even be comfortable with a test well we know what lack of knowledge leads to according to the scripture yes sir.

22:03 That right there and a lot of people have perished Because of that Man When you start incorporating The different, religious views within our community you ain't getting no blood transfusion we ain't giving you we ain't taking no medicine we're gonna just pray now 90. Narrow-minded narrow-minded narrow-minded yeah mr taylor's gonna come back in a minute just mute yourself morris and then all right we will. Continue this conversation, but you got some very valid points.

22:45 You have some very valid points, and you're right. It's a nationwide thing that we have conditioned ourselves to be afraid of process, and that's the community. We've conditioned ourselves to be afraid of therapy. We've conditioned ourselves to be afraid of going to the doctor, and we listen to our family members who have went to, oh, they ain't going to do nothing but throw your own stuff. But the thing is, there are avenues and there are ways of helping. And just like I explained, my daughter has dyslexia. And when she moved to Clarksville, they picked that up immediately and got her an IEP. But when she was in Davidson County and the schools were so overcrowded, they did not pick that up.

23:30 Right and they make it a a lot of times for the children we don't know because we're at work or whatever i'm i'm you know i'm not you know bro but i think about my grandsons and they're there you out trying to make the living and you know you know the communication barriers are there we got all these fear factors in place and at the end of the day a lot of the children just get put over in the corner, go to the office, get out my room. And I'm going to put this here. Do you remember the song, Jeremy Spoken Class Today? Yeah.

24:11 Yeah that was talking about school shooting though but the whole storyline even as it was fictitious was on point and i think a lot just pop their head to the music without listening to the lyrics oh no there's some very strong lyrics to that song and it talks about a little boy who's being neglected by his family so he internalizes his emotions and his feelings and he's being bullied him and treated really badly at school and he turns to drugs and he turns to self-mutilation and then you know he jeremy's smoking grass today jeremy's smoking grass no no no no lol no he said jeremy spoke in class today jeremy spoke in class today yeah because he jumped on the teacher bitter breast he shot he shot up the classroom i know that i know he did that but i thought it was it was he wasn't he wasn't saying jeremy's smoking grass and he was saying jeremy in class today so you with the quiet one that was always being bullied like you just said laid out but what happened was that one.

25:23 Day some snap yeah some snap one day and he just went off yeah we went off and that was when he finally spoke up and that's when everybody finally listened yeah right and that's what we're dealing with now you every school year since all these foolishness since sanny hook and everything else in between that that becomes okay okay okay okay we are turning this show into something totally different that it was not supposed to be This was supposed to be a show introducing Robert Taylor as District 1 School Board Council meeting.

26:06 Morris, that is a conversation for Friday. Today is Topic Tuesday where we highlight gentlemen in our communities that are doing good things. And this conversation just went way, way down a rabbit hole that it did not need to go down. I respect your views. I respect your views. And if you respect your views as hard as you respect your views, and I need you every Friday to be on the show with these views and these in these in the way you feel about it every every Friday, make it a point to let the world know how you feel every Friday, because this is your platform to let the world know that they're being done wrong in certain aspects.

26:53 But today's show was about is about Mr. Robert Taylor and District 1's. Gentlemen and talking about education and how we can better the community mr taylor yes sir, mr taylor is still gone but i love your enthusiasm i love the things that you say and these are the things that need to be on freedom friday freedom the last show we did the three hour show is the number one show for the kickback right now when you and mark were expressing the way you all felt about this world is the number one show for the kickback right now.

27:34 So if you guys bring that love and enthusiasm every Friday, the world is going to hear your message. And we're just in Tennessee right now. But if I tell you about my analytics, that show picked up people from California, Ohio. South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, that show picked up listeners from all over the country so you have to bring the rawness on fridays and freedom friday freedom friday will do will do i got you no no i got you i'm waiting on mr taylor too because he sounds very interesting and he sounds like he's in a very strong position to make some change right and so that's why we're here today to listen to him and find out what his agenda is on making changes in this district and in the communities that are lacking and need someone of our, listen to me, of our statue that is well-educated and knows what we need in our communities to make our little boys and our little girls better.

28:44 Amen. 100. I'm waiting on them. All right. He said that to step up. I'll see you on Friday. Yes, sir. yes sir Dave yes sir man. I love these brothers I love their passion I love their passion if I don't say thank you enough to you David thank you as my co-host thank you David brother I love you you are an amazing gentleman and you have brought some brothers that loves the world and sees the world as it truly needs.

29:26 Mr. Taylor, you're back. I am back. I am. I was trying to listen a little bit to the conversation. So I heard the piece about your daughter going to Clarksville and getting the IEP together and all of that good stuff. And so I know you were asking me to kind of introduce myself. So I didn't know if you wanted me to still go ahead and do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I wanted to take care of some business up front. You know, it's like a mullet. Let's take your business up front and have a party in the back. There you go. I got you. All right. So, you know, my name is Robert Taylor and I can just give my brief story of how I got to this point of being on the school board. So I moved to Nashville almost 30 years ago now to attend Fisk University.

30:09 I played football in high school at DeMatha High School in Prince George's County, Maryland, and had scholarships to a couple of schools in the area. And then the further school away, I think, was Virginia Tech. And I went to visit Virginia Tech and just, I hated it. I'm not even going to sugarcoat it. And so we kept riding and came on down to Fisk and I just fell in love with the campus, the history there. And then the folks that I met when I was on campus, it just, it won me over. And so I decided to attend Fisk. I enjoyed my time there. I met my wife at Fisk and finished with a bachelor's degree in biology and a minor in education.

30:52 And so when I finished school, I did some student teaching. My wife was a teacher and we decided to move back to my hometown in Prince George's County, Maryland to start our family. We had three kids and had to decide where we were going to send them to school. And we decided to move back to Nashville. This is where my wife's family was. And that's where we decided to move and set up shop with our kids. When I put my kids in school, we thought everything was going to work out perfect. Unfortunately, it didn't. And I reached out to my school board rep and my school board rep kind of dismissed me. And so I... I said, you know what, I want to get more involved. And so I decided to go ahead and get more involved in the PTO, working with other men in the programs.

31:44 And so that is how I began getting involved in the school system. I worked for the health department when I first came back and I ran a fatherhood program out of the health department. So we partnered with the schools to make sure that dads were more engaged and participated in their children's education. And so then I had an opportunity to move to the school system to do the same work as a family involvement specialist. And I think that may have been where I met Brother David up at Weiss Creek. And so as I was doing that work, I recognized that things weren't changing with our school board rep. And I love her and I appreciate the work that she did, but I just believed that there was more that we could do.

32:28 And so I decided to put myself out there to run for school board. And we were unsuccessful in our first go at it. But then our second time around, we were able to win and be able to be in a position to make some of the changes. And then also just to encourage brothers to get involved. I think that we've relied on women to do most of the heavy lifting in education. And I think it's time for us to do our fair share and get to work in supporting our children, our teachers, the faculty, the staff, and everybody that's going to be around our children so that we can have the community that we look to have.

33:10 Yes, yes. I totally agree that for years, and I think that's the, it is a double-edged sword because for years there have been missed opportunities for fathers, but then you got to think about the way society and the world and fathers were kind of kicked out of the households and had been, they weren't educated because there were not people or programs in place to catch those brothers who needed just a little more assistance themselves and they couldn't find another way. So the load was pushed on the women and the women had to bear that low for so long.

33:53 But there are some great men out here in the world that are involved with their children's lives, but there needs to be more. You're right about that. You're totally right about that. There's more men that need to be involved in their children's lives, education, welfare, well-being, and all of those things. But all of that is great. Now, let me ask you a question straight out of the blue. Now, what do you like to do for fun? I'm a football fan, so. Anything around football, that's where I'm at. I have a son that plays at Tennessee State, and so I'm at all of their games. I've got ESPN Plus so that I can watch the road games that I might not be able to make it to in person.

34:35 And then I got a baby boy that plays football also, and he's there. My daughter's cheer. When I'm at the games, I do the chains and all of that. So that's what I do for fun is just get anywhere around that football field. What is robert taylor's guilty pleasure probably i would say binging you know what my friends would say sending reels on instagram so i can get on instagram i have to to limit myself to five minutes or else i could sit on instagram and watch reels all day okay so sending out reels is your guilty pleasure.

35:16 Football is what you do for fun. How long have you been married to your wife? We've been married 23 years, 23 and a half years now. 23 blissful years or just 23 years? 23 amazing years. Look, you're going to mess around and get me in trouble if my wife hears this, right? Hey, listen, listen, listen. Listen, I don't want this to be just a stuck-up conversation let's have a real man's conversation listen what advice would you give a man that, what what advice would you give a man that's trying to straighten his life up and be a man and get married and carry a family what advice would you give that young man oh the first thing you gotta make sure you know yourself right you can't go into this thing not being confident in who you are as an individual and knowing your strengths and the weaknesses and areas for opportunity in your life.

36:15 Once you know yourself, then you can get connected with somebody else who also knows themselves. And then there's two pieces of advice that I give anybody that's in a relationship. And I give my wife credit for teaching me these lessons early. The first thing that my wife will always say is that don't be upset as someone else filling the void that you left. And so what I mean by that and what she meant by it is don't be mad when another guy tries to holler at your woman because you left a void there. Make sure that you're doing everything that you need to do for your significant other so that there's no void.

37:00 And then the other piece of advice is you can either be right or you can be effective. And I think sometimes you get into these discussions or arguments and you get so focused on trying to be right that that you're not effective in getting your point across or accomplishing the goal or getting the outcome that you're looking for. And so you can leave that discussion being right, but then your wife is still angry at you and you're not eating at night because she didn't cook or whatever the case is. And so making sure that you are focused on being effective and getting the outcome versus, you know, always trying to be right about that.

37:42 All right. So what would you what would you tell your what would you tell your predecessor? Now my predecessor as far as school board or yes as far as far as school board i mean, i will tell her thank you first and i've done those things i've talked to her a couple of times since since the election was over but just telling her thank you we appreciate her i know there was a little bit of contention during the race and i think that you know anytime there's competition involved, then, you know, there's going to be, you know, some back and forth like that. But I do appreciate the work that she's done. She was on the school board 16 years.

38:24 And so, you know, in my mind, that's half of some people's entire career working at a job. And so, you know, it's challenging work to support our schools and to support families and children. And so, you know, know my goal is just to give her a break and and to pick up you know the the torch where she left it and then hopefully carry it to the next level and that's really what to me right right i get it i understand and there's always room for new blood and there's always room for new ideas what would you tell a young man who's trying to be involved in his child's life and the mom is not letting him be a part of his life but he's a really enthusiastic young man and he's filling the blue of you know maybe he wants to come to the game maybe he wants to come to the PTA meeting but she's there and theater for some reason the relationship ended or whatever what advice would you give that young man.

39:35 I think for me is, you know, I serve as a as a rule 31 mediator and most of the cases that are mediated are child support cases. And and so one of the things and so I'll give you the longer answer here just to give some more context and detail. When I mediate child support cases, I don't even talk about the money aspect of it. It's all about the parenting piece and making sure that we're doing what we need to do to take care of the child's needs emotionally and physically and getting them to and from school and those types of things. And I tell every person that comes through mediation to bring three things. One thing they got to bring is their ID. So I know it's them.

40:17 I've had, you know, people send their mom to the meeting forum and all this other stuff. So I haven't bring their ID. I also have them bring three solutions to whatever the main problem is that they're having with working out the parentage plan. So I ask them to bring three solutions. And then the last thing I ask them to bring is a picture of their child. And to me, that's the most important piece, because oftentimes you get caught up in the back and forth issues that mom and dad have with each other. And you forget that the reason why we're even having this conversation is so that we can do what's in the best interest of their child. And so what I would tell a guy is...

40:59 Stop worrying about the relationship with mom and focus on your relationship with your child and make sure that you're doing everything possible to do what's in the best interest of your child. And sometimes that includes treating mom with more respect, showing her unconditional love, even though it doesn't feel like you want to do that. But sometimes that's what's in the best interest of your child, seeing you being respectful and caring towards their mother. And recognizing that our focus is really on the child and doing what's in their best interest in spite of the relationship that you may have with their mom.

41:39 Now, with that, what is the success rate you've seen within the realm of child support and the mediation space that you've been in? What's the success rate that you would say, not a national success rate, for what you have been in your practice. Yeah, my practice, I've been very successful. One of the things that I use to measure success is the length of time that it takes the couple to come back to redo their mediation plan or their parentage plan.

42:20 So there's other groups that do mediations out there and you can go to juvenile court and ask them, how often do the couples come back to modify their parentage plans? And in some of those other groups, the parents are coming right back after a month or two. When I do the mediation plans, because I'm a father, I have seven children of my own. And so I've been through. You said that. I know, right? Look, I did just throw that in on you. Right, right. And you wanted to drive right on past that. Seven children. I know, right? Yeah, we got seven kids, man. My oldest is 21 and my youngest will be nine next month.

43:00 They're all like two years apart in between there. But I got two in college, two in high school, two in middle school, and one in elementary school right now. So I've been through it as a dad. I got a little bit of experience as a dad. And so I share that with the guys when we do the remediation. And I help them think through every possible scenario as far as drop off and pick up and working with mom and the kid's grandma and all of the different people that are involved in life. That's it. And so when we put a parentage plan together, it's so well thought out that the parents don't end up coming back.

43:42 Most of my parents don't come back for over a year. And And most of the times, the reason why they come back is because there's either another child involved in the situation or something has changed with their personal relationships. So like a mom and a spouse or something like that. That's it. That's it. And so that's when people come back. with that being said the best teacher has experience but what i've experienced with a lot of young men and a lot of young people this nowadays they don't want to hear about your life experiences how can you convey that when majority of these young people out here like come on live my life you're trying to tell me how to live my life and i'm like no i've been on this earth for 45 years and I have life experience.

44:31 So how are you conveying that to these young people in a manner that they are willing to listen and take heed to what you're saying? Yeah, I think that I try to develop a relationship with them and help them to understand that I'm here to support them. As a mediator, we consider ourselves a neutral party. And so for me, I let them know I'm here to support you in making the decision that is best for you and your family. And so that's all I'm here to do. I'm not here to pick sides with you. I'm not here to pick sides with mom. I'm here to help you all do within you all's best interest to support your child.

45:13 And so I think that over the years, I've had enough relationships with folks that I'm able to get that across in a way that is genuine. And also, you know, they see me in the public. They've seen me out and people kind of know who I am. And so that does help. So you're a popular dude in the neighborhood. That's it. Hey, Sam Gantz, you got to be popular in the neighborhood. Well, I'm always at the football field. So they see me at the games and I've coached pretty much every sport that you can think of. And so, you know, I work with kids in the schools and so people see me around and kind of just know that that's the work that I do.

46:02 And I'm and I'm genuine about it. And, you know, my main thing is I just try to show up for people. And so that's it. Oh, I think a question. My church affiliation. So I attend Word of Life Christian Center International. It's a non-denominational church. My father-in-law actually started it in his garage a little over 35 years ago. And now we're up on the hill on Clarksville Highway next to the Kroller. Okay. Okay. All right. So, yeah, that threw me off for a loop. I was about to ask you a question. Oh, it's okay. It came back to me. So, being in education and being involved in so many family-oriented programs, what is the biggest hurdle that you see is harming our young people getting a better education at this moment?

46:58 What's the biggest hurdle that's hindering our babies from getting a good education? I would say lack of information. For me, you know, I have the seven children. And so when my first was going through school, I was learning everything as we were going. Right. But now my seventh child, I know everything. But for the most part, they could take place and what to be prepared for, what to look for and all of those good things. And so I think that we could do a better job of educating the parents and making sure that they have everything that they need to be supportive of their child's education and the education process.

47:44 So that's kind of my thought as far as the hurdle. It's just an information hurdle. And that's a little bit easier to overcome. And I'm hoping to be able to put some systems in place to be able to provide regular information to parents to help them make decisions that will put their child in the best educational opportunity for them. Right. And, you know, that is, you're right, that is the biggest hurdle. But why are we not trying to get the information? Is it the stigma that they ain't trying to help me? Are they trying to hold me down? You know, what is it? What is what do you hear from a lot of people? Because you work in the district, so I'm pretty sure you get phone calls, emails, text messages.

48:29 You get all these different forms of communication. What is the biggest complaint you hear from the community? I get a lot. Most of them are around the IEP issue, though. And so most of the concerns that I have from parents are parents that have a child that is struggling academically. Some of them have an IEP in place. They don't feel like it's being adhered to appropriately. And so we have to figure out how we can make that happen in a more consistent way for parents. And so that is one of the main concerns that I hear from parents. And so I hope to be able to partner with some organizations that specialize in working with parents through that process.

49:11 Right. Well, that's wonderful. And I'm glad to hear that. We need more people that are people-focused because so many people get in these elected positions for the wrong reasons. And we need people that are people-focused and understand the process. Like you said, you're a dad of seven children. So when you had the first one, you didn't know the process and you didn't know the procedures. And now that you're on child number seven, you've learned it all. But there are some parents out here that's not trying to or have not learned the procedures or the process and they just want to complain.

49:52 Yeah, no, that's true, too. But I also believe that behind every complaint is a true feeling. And so, you know, what I've realized as a parent is that at times organizations can do what I call a social gaslighting. And so you'll have, you know, folks that will complain about an issue and you would hope that they would they would do it in a different way. They would potentially be more constructive and so forth. But they're complaining because they feel like they have been harmed or wronged in some way. And no one has addressed it. And oftentimes larger organizations like a school system or the health department or the police department.

50:38 Can try to find a way to almost victim blame. And not saying that they're truly a victim, but the person that is making the complaint, they try to find a way to blame them for their issue versus figuring out what is the root cause of their complaint? And is there a way that we can put system or policy in place to address that concern in a productive way that would not only resolve their issue, but prevent it from happening to others in the future. Right. And help those people. And when I say those people, it could be anybody in general, parents, children, whatever, and help them to have a better understanding of what they're going through.

51:22 Because sometimes when it comes to big politics of government, we don't always get the proper answers and people kind of shun you to the side when you're trying to get the information that you need because nobody wants to be a person's person or nobody wants to be a customer's customer everybody just wants to be the man up top and wants to be the person that's in charge but you forget one day you were a customer you forget one day you were a student you you forget One day you were a parent and you still may be a parent, but now you're treating this parent as if they're less than because they don't know the policies and procedures.

52:05 Yeah. And that's I look at my job is being one, an educator for parents and to being almost like a customer service agent. I want to make sure that I'm providing world class customer service to every parent, every student, every teacher that needs support from their school board representative. And so, like, I see someone in the comments ask, what am I getting from teachers? I think from teachers, you know, one, they want to make sure that they're being paid fairly. But the other main issue is our discipline policy. They feel as though our discipline policy may be a little too lenient, that the children feel as though they don't have to respect the teachers anymore because the worst thing that could happen is that they get sent to the to the restorative practice room and then are able to come back the very next day, regardless of what the behavior is.

52:58 And so that's one thing that I hope to address. I had the opportunity to work on me, the discipline policy a few years ago, and some of the changes that we made have been reverted back to a previous policy. And so I hope to help teachers be a part of creating a new discipline policy or adding to the discipline policy so that we can ensure that there's some balance there. Do you think that they'll ever bring back the, oh, what they call corporal punishment? Do you think that'll ever come back on the agenda ever again? Because some of these children need spankings, and some of their parents need spankings.

53:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I am not a proponent of corporal punishment. I will say that. I have a nonprofit called the New Life Center. And we do parenting education workshops. We use a curriculum called Sprintening Families. And I encourage anybody that wants to become a better parent to read a book called How to Really Love Your Child. And it's written by a professor. His name is Ross Campbell. And I began to read that book. And in the preface of the book, it says that spanking your kids or whooping your kids is lazy parenting. him. And I was challenged by that because I'm like, man, I'm the hardest working parent you'll ever find. And I whooped my kids.

54:26 And as I read the book, it helped me to understand he's a child psychiatrist. And it helped me to understand some of the harm that we can cause to our children unintentionally by an over-reliance on corporal punishment. And so as I read the book and developed a new set of skills on how to parent. It's allowed me to have a relationship with my son that if I continued on the path that we were on with spanking him for every situation that came up that I thought he should be doing better or doing differently, and I wouldn't have the relationship that I have with him now. My son came to that house yesterday. Now he's in college. He's, you know, a sophomore in college, plays football, all of that.

55:11 We sat up for probably two hours yesterday in the house talking about preparation for the game this weekend. You know, the girl that he used to like and what's happening with that and just all of those things that, you know, I want to be able to impart into my son. I have that opportunity because of the relationship that we have based on the work that I put in as a father to develop a different set of skills to help discipline him when he was younger so that now he can be self-disciplined and we can have the relationship of journeymen going through this life together and supporting one another. And so What's the name of that book again?

55:55 Hey Dave, somebody go Google that book and Tag it in the comment section Somebody tag that book David put the author in there Because Listen. You just said a whole lot You said a whole lot In that statement And you said a whole lot that needs to be Broken down within the community You said a whole lot and there are some men out here that didn't get that from their fathers but there are men out here that needs to get that from their fathers right now they can't sit down and and share those special moments and special occasions and talk about things because the relationship is tarnished the relationships are tarnished yeah yeah and and and that's the unintended consequence of the corporal punishment.

56:47 It doesn't allow for true communication. And that's the part where the author talks about it being lazy parenting, because it takes a lot of time and energy to communicate effectively and consistently with your child, especially when their behavior isn't what you want it to be. But the work that you put in on the front end is well worth it on the back end. It's just like the old public health saying, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. And if you can put that work in on the front end, it reaches a harvest a hundredfold on the back end as far as the relationship that you can have with your children. Right, man, that is wonderful. Now, if you can see, we have a panel of gentlemen here.

57:30 Okay, gentlemen, now is the time. If you have, I've seen you all, you all have been participating wonderfully in the next comment section. And I know some of you all are biting at the bits to ask Mr. Taylor. Do you mind answering a few questions from the gentleman? I got time. My other call is completely over now and so I'm on for you guys. Anybody have any questions now, step up to the mic and, oh, the floor is open to you. And I got a couple in the comments that I can answer real quick, too. Go for it. Go for it. Go for it. I see Brother Morris Harris. He asked, how do we break information and communication barriers?

58:14 I think that for me, it's just about creating platforms and multiple platforms for people to access the information. What I've learned in my career at public health is that you need to communicate with people in at least three different ways. And and in order for people to take that information and to do something with it. And I think, you know, for years at MNPS, they'll say, oh, well, we sent an email home. Well, I don't even read the email. I'm just being honest. And so I need you to communicate with me in a couple of other ways. And now they've done a much better job in our communications office of getting information out in multiple ways. And then I want to just contribute to that as a school board representative and provide even more opportunities for parents to engage, similar to like what we're doing tonight with the podcast.

59:01 And so I just believe that this is the type of work we need to do to overcome those barriers. Next, I see David is asking about connections with DCS. The only connection that I really have is through CASA. And so that's really my only connection. And so I know that foster parents kind of go through some of the trainings with them and they provide some of the supports and resources that parents need. I am not an expert in that area by any means. And so that would be my my referral is to working with CASA for information about transitioning to school and what are the do's and don'ts and what other resources are available to parents that may have foster children.

59:46 And I know we've talked a little bit about that and. And some of the stuff going on in Weiss Creek. And also, I did get some answers for you about what was going on in Weiss Creek. So we can talk about that offline, though. Yeah, that sounds like a personal conversation. That's not like we're saying we're doing it all. But, fellas, Morris, Albert. Morris got a lot of questions in the comments, so I can keep rolling. Okay, keep rolling with his questions in the comments. So, Morris, maybe you can just hop on. You got to hear, how do you overcome false narratives that often disenfranchise our neighborhoods? What are you specifically talking about? And I don't know if he's still. OK, I see Morris.

1:00:29 Maybe he might be texting because he can't talk right now. So I'll take a stab at that. And if not, you can just add more to the to the text conversation and let me know if I got it right or not. But I think what he's talking about as far as false narratives is could potentially be something where you look at saying that black men aren't involved in their children's lives. And for me, you know, I've done the research around fatherhood to know that black men actually spend more time with their children than any other race of men when they are involved.

1:01:10 And so we have a different culture when it comes to taking care of our children. So when we are involved in our children's lives, we spend more time with them. We are more engaged and active in their lives. And so I want us to be able to make sure that we promote positive fatherhood in our community and just getting all of those fathers on board to be involved and engaged. And so one of the things that I'm doing through my nonprofit right now is, and this also goes to the piece about getting information out, is we're doing a documentary on Black fatherhood in Nashville specifically. And so that documentary will come out hopefully in March of next year.

1:01:54 And then we're going to do a symposium right before Father's Day next year to kind of premiere the documentary again and have some discussion about the work that's taking place in Nashville around fatherhood and how men can get engaged in that work. So that's what I got for that false narrative question. Let's see, Morris, you got another one here. We're so untrusting. Too many lies have infiltrated and infected our ability to believe. Okay, yeah. And especially dealing with our most recent election, there has been some challenges with trying to figure out what the truth is and what's not. Let's say. And then the last thing I think Morris got on here is we never got it yet. We're trying to give what we need.

1:02:41 Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that's it. Oftentimes, like I think about my father, my father is still living. I grew up in the house with both of my parents, but my dad was not the type of guy that was going to sit down and talk to you about the birds and bees, really not to sit down and talk to you about anything. But he lived his life as an example of being a provider. And so that's one thing that I did get from him, but I didn't get the emotional side from him. And so I had to intentionally seek information to improve myself in those areas so that I could be better for my kids. And I liken it to any job that you get.

1:03:23 If you go to McDonald's, they're not going to just throw you in the kitchen and tell you to start dropping fries. They're going to teach you the process of dropping the fries. They're going to tell you, you got to take them out of the freezer, bust the bag open this way so they don't fall all over the floor. Get them into the basket. You got to let them sit and thaw a little bit over top of the heat, and then you drop them in the fryer for the two minutes or whatever the time frame, and make sure you pop them out and toss that salt on them, right? So they take you through the process of frying fries. Well, when you have a baby, as a dad, there's really no class or book on that unless you intentionally seek that information out. And so through our nonprofit, we also provide a training camp for dads.

1:04:10 We do a class every month on the third Saturday where we walk dads through the process of being a through the process of supporting mom during the pregnancy, supporting her during the delivery, and then also postpartum and then being able to take care of that newborn baby. Knowing the basics, just how to change diapers, how to burp the baby, how to support mom with breastfeeding. We go through all of those things in that workshop with dads to basically train them, provide them with professional development on how to start life out as a great dad. And then we also have other workshops that we provide after that for dads that are interesting.

1:04:54 But I think that, you know, there's a lot of things that we didn't get. And now we're learning that, hey, we have an opportunity to help dads learn these things so that they can then pass that on to their children and to the next generation and stop doing things the same way that we've always done them when we know that we're not getting the results that we're looking for. I know that's that definition of insanity, and we're trying to change that and do some things differently now so that we can get different outcomes. What you said, my brother, listen, listen, I'm loving this conversation and I'm loving the fact that you are giving out this information.

1:05:34 I need the number that I sent you, the link from. I need you to send me all of your information about the fatherhood training, about your nonprofit and all those things. I need you to send me all of that information so I can therefore spread it out amongst the community around me. because it sounds like this is something that we need. And here at the Kickback, we're trying to teach and we're trying to get information like that out to the community in a space and in a manner where men can just hear it and understand it. But anybody else got something to ask Mr. Taylor? Got the floor? Of course, I got something to ask Mr. Taylor. He mentioned this to me.

1:06:18 Oh, you already know this. Just like Mr. Taylor, I rode with the school board too. I rode in the school But he mentioned discipline So how do we address discipline Inside the school And outside the school Because I am a school bus driver And it is An extension of the school It is When I was a family involvement specialist I used to ride the bus home To support the bus drivers Because of the discipline issues And I think That it's the. There's two pieces to it. One is the relationship piece, and that's what I was talking about as far as with my son.

1:06:58 But then also, there's a consistency piece to it as well. I think that as adults, sometimes we can start a thing off well, but then maintaining it long term, we don't necessarily have a plan in place for it. And I know that, you know, Metro has definitely improved in that area, but there's been some things that we haven't been consistent on in maintaining supports for folks like our bus drivers and also some of our support staff in the schools. And so that's what I want us to be able to do. That's kind of how I see one of my roles on the school board is just being a champion for making sure that we're consistent in how we implement these different programs that support.

1:07:39 Because what always happens is we start a program, you know, you got some people that are on board 100% with it. You got some people that kind of wait and see. And then you also have some naysayers. And the only thing that overcomes that in the program is that you don't have to do it. Support that we say we're going to provide. And so, for instance, providing bus monitors, right? And I don't know if this has been your experience or not, but, you know, we start off providing the bus monitors and then we say, oh, well, we don't have enough funding to keep it going this year. And so now the students are used to having their bus monitor, helping them to manage their behavior and so forth.

1:08:19 And then when that bus monitor is gone, now they're back to doing what they were doing before and it creates you know the issue that our bus drivers shouldn't even have to deal with and so you know we have to figure that piece out on the administrative side and making sure that we can be consistent in providing the supports that we need to this is true now and trust and believe that i i totally believe that i truly know that y'all need to do that because we could turn one thing and then something else happens. But what I say is, and where I fall short is, is because we have issues on our buses currently right now with kids.

1:09:03 We can bring this to the forefront. We can bring it to the administration at school. Nothing happens about it. But now you can't do it inside the school, so why are you allowed to do it on the bus? Right. That's a good one. I'm open to suggestions on that one. Because I know how difficult it is to manage that. Y'all got a job to do. And I think about it from this perspective. Our teachers have a job to do. Bus drivers have jobs to do. But then also our administrators have a job to do. And policing, the vaping, and things like that, that's the administrator's job. We need you all to drive the buses safely. I know we had an accident the other day, and I'm still trying to figure out what happened so that we could do some.

1:09:47 Things differently but but yeah we just. We have to hold everybody accountable for doing their role it's like bill belichick you see i'm a football guy bill belichick says do your job and we can't ask our bus drivers to also do the job of discipline and expect them to be able to do their job well and so we got to figure out how to how to make that happen but i don't have all the answers either and i'm cool with not having all answers trust me because we had we've had this issue since last year we've had we have a lot of this issue this year and i'm cool with not having all answers but my holy thing is with it when we address the issue and we know the culprits and you tell the culprits well it's really not much you can that we can do about this now now see i'm not i'm not the one fall of that because we're in an enclosed environment if all those were like today today was raining so all the windows are up today you see what i'm saying we're in an enclosed environment what what if someone's allergic to that someone gets sick we got 60 kids on this bus 65 kids on the bus 70 kids on the bus some of our buses run 84 people at one night yeah and and that's something that we can't we can't have and so you know what i'm gonna put my information in here so you can reach out to me because i i would like to talk to you more a little bit offline about it.

1:11:18 So we can try and figure out a solution for this thing, because I don't have the answer, but I know that we can come up with one if we work together on it. Yes, sir. So that's my number. Give me a text. So I got your information and then we can set some time up so we can kind of talk about, like, you know, what you've experienced and how we might be able to to come up with something. Yes, sir. Morris, can you hear my voice? Morris. Morris, I don't know what's going on with your audio, but I'd show love to have you come in and say something and give out some more of your wisdom. Anybody else got any questions or anything they want to say to Mr.

1:12:02 Taylor? Right now, you got the floor, as I said. Bubba, I thank you for your input. Morris, I see you're in. So you can't say anything, Morris. Can you you can so you can hear me but you can't your microphone's not working right what's going on here oh okay i'll tell you what hang up and come back in the room and then maybe you should be able to say something but mr taylor it looks like down now he said prioritizing children, Yeah, I see what he said. But he was responding to something that we said, I'm assuming, because he say he was laughing and prioritizing children.

1:12:47 So I think he's just maybe just saying that that's the simplest thing, like making sure that we prioritize children and put them first. Okay can you hear me okay now he's back on all right good go ahead okay this is the point that i was trying to make i'm a i'm a i'm a i'm a victim of reganomics so back in the 80s prior to the crack epidemic we i mean i know we still have some ban but you know nationwide in the communities, especially in the urban communities. I'm from Detroit. And in our community, we had a drum corps. We had all kind of extracurricular activities that kept us out of trouble.

1:13:33 We also had the CETA program where the kids every summer were contributing to keeping the city clean, taking pride in their neighborhoods, picking up the trash, and then getting paid for it. All these programs got wiped out because the priorities changed and we as the adults if you will i was a child then but the adults at the time said we can't afford to to make sure that the children are prepared and ready to take the reins so at the end of the day this is what i'm gonna say we like puppet masters with arthritis and we don't want we're not preparing nobody to take the torch that's why we're so afraid with every election because our youth are not prepared and then watch this if we don't prepare our youth To value us They ain't gonna take care of us when they get in the position, Well, no You saying it, I mean I always think about Man, one day when I get older, Am I preparing a generation that's prepared to take care of me?

1:14:33 And I can't confidently say that yet. But that's the work. We're going to work until we fall into the grave. Mm-hmm. Yes. And I don't want to do that. And so I'm going to try to put the work in now. I don't have to be there. And so what I would encourage you all to do, I partner with an organization called the Southern Movement Committee. And they actually just had a summit this past Saturday. And what they've done is they have created a program. Jamel Campbell Gooch is one of the leaders of the group. And we met years ago when he was working for Metro Parks.

1:15:14 He was a site coordinator for Parks. And, you know, over time, Parks funding had been cut and cut to where they eliminated his position. And we recognize that our metro parks play such a critical role in providing our young people with opportunity to be able to do something safe and productive, even outside of school, where they have adult supervision and people that love and care for them to be able to help guide them and shape them into the people they need to be. And I even think about it I grew up right outside Washington Southeast D.C. During the height of the crack epidemic with Marion Barry and all of that and.

1:15:59 I remember we had midnight basketball we can go to the gym and we'll hoop all night long until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning but it kept us off the streets and we're still getting into a little bit of trouble after the games are over and what not but. And so we need programs like that and what this southern movement committee is doing they actually put a plan together to uh be able to support our youth in the community programs like that and they had a budget of 10 million dollars that they put forward to the uh and the city ended up supporting them at 1 million dollars this year and i believe they found them as a pilot to see if they can get this work to support these kids.

1:16:51 And I'm supporting them to make sure that their program is successful so that next year we can go back and get the full $10 million to be able to provide the programming all over the city. That's part of conflict resolution, isn't it? Part of the thing that I found with the elementary school system and the school system, period, is that they're relegating their children to be adults and to act like they're adults and they're children. So we limit their recreation time. We limit their conflict resolution skill. We limit their working together skills to try to come up with a solution or whatever. And then we hold them to the level of adulthood So that when they fail as children Then we punish them as adults That's a problem Yeah, oh yeah.

1:17:44 That's a problem If it's a 4 year old and he fights a 5 year old disability Let's just say that Okay, well, the 4 year old might be bigger than the 5 year old Quiet as it's kept nowadays but still the same now we throw them in it's almost like we're preparing them to go to the court, you're going to jail you're going to the office now you got to sit before the judge or the prosecutor they're programming the children's minds that way now to the point that they don't have no conflict resolution skills none.

1:18:25 And the only thing we learn from us is violence what we doing somebody we don't like yeah because we whooping them every time they do something wrong amen because i grew up with it but i understand what you were saying too is that there's got to be a different way to be able to, because their children are already so traumatized by all of the violence around them on a day and basically they took one buddy off and put the praise move on and that's it's not even just the physical violence i mean it's the verbal violence you know man i was at the kids football game and the way the parents were cussing their kids out and all of that in my mind what do you hope us accomplish with that like i mean because here's it but i when we do the workshop with the parents i talked to the parents i said kids are just little people.

1:19:26 If you wouldn't talk to a co-worker like that, I hope not, because if you did, it'd probably be a fight because they're the same size as you. And the only reason you can get away with talking to the child like that is because you're just physically bigger than them. But otherwise, they're just a person just like you. They're learning. They're trying to figure things out. And our role is to guide them through their process, not force them through the process. And that's where we just we can work on some of the skills that are necessary to communicate better with our kids and to be able to help them get to the point you know what we're so used to tearing them down because of the life that we're dealing with you know we get beat down if we do something wrong at our job we might lose our all those things that we're dealing with we we we our children see it too and then we put them under the same pressure, and they kind of figure out I'm just a kid I watched I binge watched, what's the name of this show Alex Cross, the new Alex Cross, I'm watching I ain't gonna tell you too much but I will say you only got two episodes left I'm on it tonight.

1:20:44 The one thing that I was thinking about that show is that the way that he parents his kids is a model for all of us like he gets it wrong sometimes but eventually he comes back and he corrects it and he treats his kids like they're a human being and he understands the role that he plays in developing their character and teaching them that it's okay to say that you're wrong and to apologize and then to get it right going forward And so those are some of the things that I was so glad to see the way that they portrayed him as a dad on that show, because it gives a wonderful example of how, as a black man.

1:21:30 We can still be black men, but then also support our kids when helping them to grow into the young people that we hope that they become so that they can be as successful as possible. I like the way they showed his strength And his softness Without being fimmel Exactly Because that's what My grandson came down this summer And he told me about a school situation He said Papa I was mad and I was crying And then the teacher said We used to be here today And I said And he got madder and said I'm a boy And they said to me comments.

1:22:11 Oh man see i'm a boy papa i said you a boy you go you're a young man on the way up. Sir you know what i mean and he was like and then he then he got the confidence and walked away i said but you can't be clowning in class right there you go. Yeah it was it was very beautiful moment and that's what man i i celebrate you sir i support you and I'm going to hook up with you because you're right around the corner from me, actually. You're trying to say. Yeah, I will see you. All right, let's make it happen. Yes, sir. It will do.

1:22:54 So here's what I have to say about this, and it's just a synopsis, and what I've seen from my own children is the fact that these TV shows and these video games have, desensitized our children. They're desensitizing our children into the fact that even if you use corporal punishment or you sit down and you have a conversation with them the world has shown them something totally different and they're not grasping the concepts that you're trying to portray to them in certain areas I mean absolutely.

1:23:36 Even the girls So some, you know, I raised two girls. I found out I had my son. You already know the story, you know, and he was grown. But by the time we got to meet, but at the end of the day, we have a relationship and he's got two boys. So at the end of the day, you know, as men, I'm trying to be a father to a son that I never knew. He's being a father to his children, but he didn't have a daddy that he knew. And so now we're trying to work together as men to try to rebuild something that was broken. And it wasn't even our fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't his fault.

1:24:16 It just wasn't the system, you know, you know, but, but still, especially the boys today, the girls are getting so aggressive. You know, my daughter's even telling me, she says, Dad, she said she's got three boys, 10, 10, 7, and 5. And at the end of the day, she said, I'm trying to keep these ratchet little girls away from my sons because they nasty, Daddy. I said, what? But I raised two girls. You see what I'm saying? And at the end of the day I don't know what's happening But the dynamics are killing us Very true Very true The dynamics are killing us.

1:25:03 I think as parents, we have to we have to monitor what's going into our children's eye gates and their ear gates. And it's hard. And I see so many parents that are in the lower, let's say, economic structure. They're using tablets or phones as the babysitters. Now they're using these things as the baby that's that's who's watching their children because the cost of child care has gotten so high that you walk into a restaurant it's it's ridiculous you walk into a restaurant and you see two kids sitting in a corner and in front of them they got a tablet instead of when i was growing up it was a coloring book it was my my my learning book where I was practicing my ABCs and my one, two, threes.

1:25:55 But now you see tablets in front of these children. And now you have an electronic babysitter. You have an electronic babysitter that's watching people's kids and they're having to take their kids to work because they can't afford daycare. Right. And then they go to the school for how many hours a day? Six to eight. so that's 68 hours that you don't have no control over what's going in their minds or their hearing, and then you're focusing on your work so when you get off you got to pick them up you already tired you can't wait to get them home you want them to be quiet because you tired they wound up because they ain't had no real recess they haven't had they didn't have the same we played the ice ball but you know we did all of that and it got a lot of that energy out so that we was more focused when we came home.

1:26:47 But now they're off the wall. They're bouncing off the wall. Their focus game is all distorted. Like you said, they got all these tablets, all that stuff. We understand that it's messing with the frontal lobe of the brain. And then, not to mention the sugar, because I'm looking at my mom who's got dementia, and now they're saying that this sugar that some dementia is considered to be, diabetes 3 or something. It has something to do with excessive sugars, but they're affecting the brain. My mother drinks soda pop like it ain't nothing. I told her, you got 20 teaspoons of sugar in each can.

1:27:35 But that's what we feed our kids. All that stuff has an effect. And then we as men are dealing with the world that we're dealing with and then we get frustrated, we get we don't have no patience. It just goes on and on and on. It's like a snowball rolling down the hill, and if we don't stop it from falling or be the rock that the snowball breaks on, then, you know, what are we looking forward to? Because our children are going to forget about us now. They're going to forget about us. The way it's going, we're forgetting about half of our elders. Yeah. And the children ain't going to think about us.

1:28:17 Yeah. That is the fate of the world right now. And then you have to think about the way that that they're trying to erase history. They're trying to erase things that that made us a society and made us a people. And so we as men, as you're saying, we have to be the bearers of all of the grunt that's going on in this world. But at the same time, you also have to be teachers. And I'm a I'm a father of four daughters. I have four daughters and I have been the brunt bearer of a lot of things. But on the other side of that, I've also been a teacher and I've showed my daughters that how a man is supposed to treat a woman and my oldest daughter.

1:29:05 And I have to give her her kudos. Me and her mother did not have the best relationship in the world, but her and her husband have a wonderful relationship. And that's because I run it and I bared and I gritted my teeth and I did all these things that I needed to do as a father. But he learned the lessons that needed to be taught by me, a man, to show her her worth and her value. And she met a nice gentleman and they're married and they both have wonderful careers and they both know what it takes to survive in this world. Amen. And unfortunately for us, some of us, like I'm on my third marriage, okay?

1:29:52 My first marriage was 18 years. My second was two because I knew that was crazy. And I'm eight years in on this one. But at the end of the day, I've learned so many things by coming from a family that I was a builder in, moving to a family that was already built, moving to another family that the kids has grown and they set in their own way. And I'm still who I am. But I'm dealing with I've had to deal with these different circumstances. I wish it had never gone the way that it had, but I'm here where I am. And now I've got to make the best of this, but I've learned from these different scenarios. Man, In all of that, there's always a common denominator.

1:30:47 And what you just said is through it all, you've been you. But have you ever taken time and space and sat back and reflected on who you were and the part that you played in all of these particular relationships, whether it was romantic or with your children? Have you looked down and contemplated over the wrongs that you've done in your life to make the relationships go the way that you have seen them go? Yes, I have. And there's no, put it like this, I can cite the reasons that I made the choices, but the excuse might be wrapped up in the reason. But reasonably, there was no excuse.

1:31:33 What it was was that there was no teaching for me to have at the moment of crisis. I did what to do. And because I didn't know what to do at the moment of crisis, I did what I thought I should do. And in the thinking of me doing what I thought was the right thing, after the fact, I wound up realizing that it was the wrong thing. But I learned. so now I've carried that over to the next but then I mean yes I'm the common denominator in every relationship but I also am dealing with the women I've only dealt with black women in relationships that have been serious and then I'm also from a single parent woman home so now here I come with all my mother taught me how to be as a man but she could only teach me so much Then I went to the military. I got all of that.

1:32:30 Then I came home and fathered my own children. Then I got all of that. Now I move on into the next relationship confident as a man. I'm a provider. I'm skilled laborer, all that. But I still didn't have all the dynamics to make the relationship work, because when it came to certain portions that I was dealing with, the women are dealing with something different. Because now I feel like most recently had a conversation women just one woman's view, women have been brainwashed women are tired of dealing with men and being the scapegoat and having to do everything and it's time for men to step up and I'm like what in the world kind of crazy are you talking yeah, But I had to listen and get it, and a lot of them feel they're feeling the pain of the past, and they're holding, I don't know what it is, but they're carrying that weight forward as we will never do this again. A lot of women.

1:33:38 It sounds like you're riding in the same boat, because what you just explained to me is what you're carrying from the past. You're carrying the fact that you want a single parent home that your mom, gave you the best that she could give you as a man but here's the thing in those situations you have to pick pieces of every situation and you like turn your home there and we can't stay the same Morris we cannot stay the same you're absolutely right and I haven't stayed the same but what I'm saying is Like, for instance, you have men that don't know how to change a tire, right?

1:34:23 Somebody not long ago was talking about they were on the way home or coming out of the grocery store or whatever, and there was three dudes and a young lady, and they was asking for help from people coming out of the grocery store if they could change the tire. And the brother was like, you got three young brothers with you, young lady. You know, only one of the dudes is hers or whatever, you know, they do whatever it was Whatever, but the bottom line was they didn't know how to change the tire They didn't know where the tire was they didn't know how to get they know how to check the car They didn't know none of that, but they thought they are hard and the order rap songs, but they don't know the basics Then you get somebody.

1:35:07 I'm seasoned. I know the basics. I'm a builder. But I'm still dealing with women whose fathers wasn't there for them. Right, right, right. So then where I come, I got an income. I got a skill set. I'm intelligent. I'm articulate. I'm relatively, I think, handsome and capable, and I carry myself well. But it's not necessarily always enough but here's the thing isn't them and i'm gonna say this and i'm gonna be real honest sometimes the people we pick are a reflection of who we are and in that.

1:35:50 You bring all of that to the table but you're trying to rescue yourself you're still trying to rescue yourself by picking these women and they're inadequate because they didn't have fathers, but you're also inadequate because you didn't have a stable father. So in essence, you're trying to save yourself. And a lot of men can't understand or recognize that. And the reason why I can say that is because four years ago, God gave me an epiphany and told me that the women that I chose in my life prior to this woman that God brought to me, I was trying to save them, but I wasn't trying to save them. I was particularly trying to save myself.

1:36:30 I was Trying to make myself be seen because I never had a father and I wanted to be the man that my mother deserved in her life to every woman that came into my life. I've seen that 100%. The thing of it is, is this. When you came into this relationship, you came in completely transparent, didn't you? Yes, sir. But God. Did she come in transparent as well? Yes sir that's where the risk is is that everybody ain't trying see i went through homelessness i went through two marriages i went through race i went through finding out i got a son you know that was arrested for murder at 12 years old i went through all of those pains by myself because i couldn't really share them with nobody my daddy wasn't available and i didn't really have that male circle like we got this and so at the end of the day all that stuff i was internalized and just trying to be the man just trying to deal with it but i'm crying and dying inside so when i get to the next relationship i come in there and dump everything on the table and what often happens is they'll take it but then they'll go through it and shift it in the bathroom but they ain't never put nothing on the table for you to understand, now you get to be what they bring based on what they know about you.

1:37:57 You got to respond to that and you can't say it ain't true because you was transparent right right, i think i was i i was gonna say i kind of mentioned that at the beginning when i was talking about the you know the relationship part is like both people got to come into the relationship whole they got to know who they are be confident in who they are enough to be transparent like you're saying and if both people aren't at that point it ain't gonna work out. And so you got to be able to recognize that the person that you are deciding to lay all these things out with is whole enough to even be able to receive it so they can return that same thing to you.

1:38:40 And I just think that one of the things that is becoming a thing is the absence of fathers. Right. And so when a father is absent, if it teaches us that men aren't available for us. Right. And so it takes us time to even even accept the fact that there are men out there who can support us, who can be that sounding board when we're going through things and say to us, hey, man, I know you're thinking about doing this, but here's my experience and here's some of the things that I was able to do to get through this type of experience that might be able to help you as well it takes us a while to even recognize that we can receive that from another man because we didn't have the relationship with a father who was able to give that to us and I think that as we grow and mature and in our manhood and understand that you know no man is an island.

1:39:42 We're not built to do this thing of life by ourselves. And we need other men to be able to lean on, to support us, and then in return, give that same support back to them. And I love this group. I love what you all are doing because this is creating spaces for that. And we're being intentional about coming together as men and supporting each other, teaching each other about the things that we've experienced and how we've overcome them and being able to share. And so, hey, guys, I'm so thankful for this opportunity tonight. I'm getting ready to hop off because I'm running in the house with the kids and got to make sure that they ate and getting ready for bed for school tomorrow.

1:40:24 But anytime y'all need me to hop on here, let me know. And I'd love to continue to participate in this. I actually have some funding that will be coming up pretty soon to do some additional fatherhood workshops. And so I'd love to get you guys engaged, whether or not we can get you guys trained to help facilitate groups for other young men. Or if you all want to participate in the programs as well, we can make that happen. But yes, I thank you all for inviting me tonight. And I look forward to continuing to work with you guys going into the future. Yes, sir. We appreciate it. My brother Dave, what you got to say to the man? Well, Mr. Taylor, I do appreciate you for your patience and hanging in there with us. We've been trying to make this happen for a minute.

1:41:10 So I am very thankful. And again, I know you would bring a level of quality to the conversation. And again, I look forward to future partnerships with you. And again, this isn't going to be the last time. No, sir. Definitely not. No, I'll be back. And I appreciate you guys. Thank you. All right. Anybody else got anything to say before we go out the door? Thank you, Mr. Taylor. I mean, I'm going to get with you, and we'll see if we can't help solve some of these problems that we're working on together. All right. I look forward to it. All right. Thank you. Thank you, guys. All right. Fellas, hey, I love all y'all, man.

1:41:53 And I love everybody being intentional, and I love the fact that we can have some real, honest, transparent men conversation. That is what the kickback is for, fellas. That's what it's for, for us to come together and have these intentional conversations and try to figure out how we can better and make this world a better place, man. We got to have these intentional conversations. We got to have the space. And this is the space. Morris, I love you to death, my brother, and I love the funk that you bring every time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Ever since I've met you, brother, you have brought the funk. And I love the way you think. I love the way you think out loud My brother and we are going to get You to the other side of this finish line If it ever if it takes If it takes 100 years we Gonna get you healed my brother we gonna Get you there because God Is going to give you everything That you deserve before you leave this Earth but I love the way you think And I love the funk that you bring To this show Bubba I love I love what you bring to the show Riley I appreciate it And I'm always thankful that you're here.

1:43:02 Mark, if you can hear me, my brother, I love you being in the building with us. Yes, this is how we build a village. You are right, Dave. This is how you build a village. Mark, how are you doing tonight, my brother? I'm straight, man. I'm sitting here listening to the whole conversation, man. It was pretty intense. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I appreciate you coming. Friday, fellas, Friday. Friday, 6 p.m. Friday, 6 p.m. Let's bring this same love and enthusiasm to the conversation on Friday. And I'd like to say I love y'all from the heart. Hey, keep being intentional, and we gonna make our sons, our brothers, our nephews better men for the future.

1:43:50 Amen. Amen. All right. I'll see everybody on Friday. You gentlemen have a great evening. Thanks, Bubba Joe. Yo, I'm in my way. Later, Mark. Later, the dude. They kick back. Music.