Mentorship, Structure & Survival: Fixing the Next Generation

0:00 It's a fantastic Friday evening. I hope all is well with everyone. And I hope we all are having a great afternoon. If you celebrate celebrating Halloween, happy Halloween. If you're not, hey, I hope you're having a wonderful day and I hope you're going to have a wonderful weekend. And we are the kickback. I am your host, the dude. And as we do every Friday, we have some amazing conversation with some amazing gentlemen. So sit back and enjoy the ride. Like your brother said as bullying or whatever title you want to give it but really we are so lenient.

0:43 Out here and excuse so much bs that, everybody is just sedated into pleasure and if you're not giving pleasure then you causing pain and i can call the police about some pain which only makes the situation worse so which kids don't know yet, even though they have subconsciously acknowledged it more likely than not coming from certain households. Okay. Shaking on that, man. It's just accountability right now. The times we're living in, it's more time to be accountable than ever, man, because the world is moving very fast, man, and if you're not up to speed, you're going to get ran over.

1:25 Right, but what I mean by, what I'm saying is this. The little, one boy said that, and I'm paraphrasing, but he was on the lines of, your mama made a puss-ass nigga, your mama made a bitch-ass nigga, something was said in that manner, and the boy, the one that started the fight after being told that. Says he talked about my mama he talked about my mama but he all the other children on the bus heard exactly what the other little boy said, even the boy that started the fight's sister was on the bus and heard what the other child said and, clarified it even with the young man that just fought her brother she said you ain't say nothing about my mama did you call him a pussy a bitch or whatever i'm just going off what i was saying but i noticed, in the younger society with the younger people, if they feel like you're being, quote unquote, disrespectful in any form, they're willing to lose their lives instead of understanding that, okay, and I'm just off the top. You don't know my mama.

2:36 You don't know nothing about my mama, but I think I'm thinking with my adult rational mind, but, even when I was a middle schooler and a high schooler, if somebody says something about my mama they didn't know my mama so it didn't bother me am I just different? do, you think you said something that makes for calmness and. You are right the first thing that you're going to holler about to crash out look here, so you're willing to lose your life or lose your freedom versus being a rational human being and you wonder why the world is the way it is right now, you wonder why you can't get nowhere you wonder why you're the first ones to holler because we all know they're probably dark skinned wonder why you're the first one to holler somebody holding you back, yes sir there I only have one lighter skinned child or two is a Hispanic child and a Caucasian child is the only two I have on my bus that don't look like us the rest the other 20, look like us.

3:47 Now, yeah, you were saying something about peer pressure. Do you think that peer pressure and societal pressure is even more so in today's time than when we grew up? No, no, I don't. No, I don't. No, not at all. I work with children every day. And no, I don't see peer pressure. I see it as information overload. Yep. Information overload. They have too much access to too much information. It's too much information. It's information overload. Peer pressure, like this incident tonight, nobody gassed it up. Nobody egged it on.

4:29 The one boy who, and like I said before, he wanted to fight. He wanted to fight from jump. He wanted somebody to cross whatever particular line he wanted to call it, and he wanted to fight. So everybody else was like, no, man, don't fight. It's becoming more of a society of people who have too much information. It's information overload. Now, you talk about this all the time, systemic things that are going on. And in society now, young men want to have the feeling of they have to prove themselves masculine.

5:14 Because now in the media and society, they say gender and gender roles are fluent. Something I don't agree with, not here to offend anybody or say that they're wrong, but I particularly don't agree with gender being fluent because gender is black and white. We're all born males, so that means we all have penises. Our mothers our wives our daughters, were born female that's black and white there's no gray area in that but in today's society there's a gray area in that and people feel like.

5:55 It's fluent if tomorrow i feel like i want to be a sunflower i could be a sunflower no you can't don't put no labels on me don't put no labels on me, because you know i know I noticed that stuff like that become Trendy you know I see you know That's it it's trendy Girl girl Hand, or she with me And I'm like what, You know yeah That's my girlfriend you know it's like. I'm like, you know, you don't ain't know who you are. Right. But you said shit over love. I mean, he was getting ready to go.

6:36 And whatever, you right. Because his ears wasn't even on. He didn't even hear the whole insult because he was already ready. Nope, sir. He did not hear the whole insult at all. I don't even think they really know the difference between right and wrong today. No, they don't. I mean, they know the difference between right and wrong. Is that they feel that they can push the lines because ain't nothing really wrong. Exactly. But there's nobody wrong is opinionated and it's a personal prerogative versus actual truth. There it is. If they prefer that everything that they do be right, even though in society it may be wrong, but since, like Joe just said, information overload has told them, well don't put no labels on me well who said that that was right who said that this was right and then I'm following this person this is trending that's trending I'm following them they following them, yeah well they don't like it.

7:42 You know I said it's somebody who like it in other words my uncle and my grandpa and them always said growing up I mean something's only worth what somebody's willing to pay, and I see us paying the price right now for everything that they're willing to get I think the difference in Orleans where the first the first steps out the door, well in that case that means you need to have some parenting and I'm here to tell you I work with kids every day there's no parenting 75% of the kids we work with have no parenting, their parents don't know that they were between right and wrong.

8:23 Do we know the difference? It's a typical guy. The difference of what? I said, do we know the definition of a parent? Come on with it. Right. Do you have? I don't think it's a set definition. There's a difference between a parent and a mother and a father. A pair, a parent is almost legally defined as a pair that rents. A parent is a child's biological mother, father or legal guardian or caregiver who raises and nurtures a child such as an adoption foster or step parent.

9:04 That's the that's parent right there. Parent is the bio. That's it. So legal guardian part. oh yeah yeah yeah and that's what i'm about to go back over i'm gonna read it again but i'm gonna also work through it and i'm gonna dissect it it says parent is a biological mother or father that's the first statement okay so that means we all could be parents parents it's just you, me and some woman laid down we made a kid in a general sense in a general sense it says on a legal guardian or caregiver, who raises and nurtures a child. So in raising and nurturing a child, we have been in society.

9:48 Now we have no discipline. We just have caring and raising and nurturing. And I was listening to some teachers. I took a field trip the other day and I was listening to some teachers talk, and they were talking about a particular school, and one of the teachers said, yeah, I let my oldest son go to this particular school, and their curriculum is free. You learn however you want to learn. If you feel like coloring all day, but we work on coloring numbers. That's fantasy nature. Fantasy nature again. NSA.

10:30 Ah, that's even worse. NSA. Ah. So the teacher was like, no, he ruined it for the rest of them because they let the children be too free. This one particular teacher, woman, mom says, no, I want my kids to have structure. So I had to take my son out of there and he ruined it for the rest of them. He's smart. He's gifted, but he ruined it for the rest of them. So we're not. I've decided I wasn't going to do that. But if you hear what I'm saying, this person understood that trial and error. OK, I let my first gifted child go to this gifted school where the curriculums are a little bit different.

11:12 But when I noticed that he was going south and he was not doing what he was supposed to be doing. And also what you said about following, because children mimic each other. They watch their friends. They watch the people around them. We all do constantly unconsciously. Right. So they try to mimic. So she says, this ain't going to work with the rest of them. I'm not going to do this. My children need structure. And if more parents, and that was only one parent. One person but if more parents understood that their children need structure, structure real structure, that means a bedtime that means chores that means understanding that a household does not run off of Instagram TikTok Facebook.

12:03 Roblox. Fortnite. Fortnite. Right. Man, can I get some coins? But that's how it is when you're parenting yourself, though. Very true. Right. He's parenting himself. Oh, man. When you really, when you take a step back, listen, I'm just, I like to talk from my own personal experience. Of course, I do too. Come on with it. I know, I gauge my own cell phone how much I be on the phone and devices in general. But when we're talking about an actual phone and having access to the world through their phone and most people are always on social media then i watch, a person scroll their life away man and it's just like, it's just like you i'm silently acknowledged that i'm not gonna let them be mad at me i'm gonna let them be mad at me when i don't tolerate some shit like that you feel me of course because you can get mad all you want, the proof i'm being the pudding bro that ain't getting them even know where for real unless you already monetized it in some way.

13:17 And that's about all it's supposed to be for outside of what's actually going on right in front of you. Like people not paying attention to what's going on right in front of them. And when they get caught up in encounters, it's the pressures man. It's the lack of discipline. The parenting. No structure. And when you say this stuff out loud, everybody gets offended and want to tell on you. It's an even bigger problem. So like- What do you mean tell on you? Because I'm missing that. When you say it out loud, people want to tell on you. Okay, so take parents. Take parents, for example, and a legal guardian having custody over a child.

13:57 When a child, children know enough now because they get these devices so fast. If they feel it's hurt too bad, they calling the police. And then the police showing up as the one with a stronger title over the child and coming to protect it because the child done made claims of injury. So I say telling on you, people going to tell on you whether they tell their people and then try to get your house shot up or they call the police. And it create a whole legal situation instead of taking something in, dissecting it, processing it, and then responding without blowing the situation out of proportion.

14:41 Like you said, structure teaches you how to handle difficult situations, but what is kids seeing nine times out of 10, like one of the brothers was just saying, they mama watching the phone all day. They daddy gone or watching the phone all day or you know it's just the dynamics today is like that's why I said to keep a long story short the world is moving so fast today that if you're not up to speed and on your square about structure you're, gonna get ran over man because, when these folks come knocking on your door and shit they're knocking they ready to knock it down they gonna kick your door in and you'll get the warrant later, but we're supposed to be building to where.

15:25 We set boundaries to where that can't happen. If you want to address me, it's a proper way to do it versus disrespecting me on my own property, so to speak. Right. It's a it's a respect thing when it comes to encounters, man. So so so what you're saying is what I've been saying. It's the system because they learn how to play that system in a heartbeat. We all I know we all live in. No, I got I got one in my house right now that can play this system like a fiddle. And then for Sally caught on like, oh, this ain't this ain't the way this goes. This ain't what this is. No, I've been trying to get y'all to understand it. Man. And then they get 25, 26, 27 and got mental issues.

16:08 Uh-uh. That's what they claim they got now. It's mental issues. They already on drugs and shit. I smoke weed still. And I was smoking weed way back then when I started as a kid. I ain't out here doing no heroin, fentanyl, methamphetamine, vaping. These kids is doing whatever got an electrical current come through. It's crazy out here. And we just talking about kids. I'm assuming the situation from tonight is just about to fight on the bus. But I can almost guarantee you that the kid who wanted to fight, it was pressure in some type of way. Like, I heard my mama. So this nigga talking about my mama in front on the bus. I remember I did it one time. You feel me? Right. But it all goes back to what I said.

16:53 Society and what they claim gender roles are fluent and, we we have we us people right here in this conversation understand that gender roles aren't fluent and that a penis is a penis and a vagina is a jana and i can't turn my penis into a vagina tomorrow, you sure there's no there's no way i'm gonna be a female tomorrow i don't care how much makeup i put on and how many skirts i shots you take. Right. I won't be a female when, when they dig my, my bones up a hundred years from now, they're going to say I'm a dude. You understand what I'm saying? But we, as in society, these young men and young women don't have the cognitive brain that we have now.

17:44 And I understand that premise to understand that, your mama right on right your mama is your mama I get it I understand but to, lose it all because somebody says something about your mama is not worth it. Bubba was like they ready to die they ready to, crash out because you said something about your mama later on today after school when you get off the bus it's like crazy to do but it's It has something to do with that age-old, caveman mentality. I got a beat on my chest to show the world that I'm a man. I got to put you down to show you that I'm a man. Yeah, feeling shame.

18:33 That's it. That was it right there. That is the whole thing in a nutshell. That is it right there. Feeling shame. For what? Feeling shame. Because simply if you really think about it and dive deep off into it you're feeling shame because he out joked you yeah, And you don't know your own value. He outjoked you. Not going deep as value because it's still kids. These were middle school kids. But he outjoked you so he made you look less thin. He made you look less of the man in front of your friends. You're like somebody putting that rock on your shoulder, stick on your shoulder and knock it off.

19:17 Right. I dare you. You knock it off. He's going down. Going downtown who brain doesn't do it who gonna do it. First who came up with this shit who came up with this shit look at me some shit right there or you draw that line who gonna cross that line who gonna draw that line. I dare you should cross that line Yeah, I'm a silly man It's going Downtown, No, no, what What am I saying?

19:58 It's going down all day All day, this thing gonna be on my shoulder All day It's going downtown, We're going to lunch with it We're going to PE with it We're going to math and science with it But Anytime you look up, I'm looking dead at you Okay, there's somebody coming behind to push you into the person. Side note i got a side note to tell y'all i got this story to tell y'all about today i got a side note but listen we gonna get back to this in just a moment but i got a side note, listen so at the middle school today right, The young lady got expelled from school yesterday. I mean, expelled, kicked out. Don't come back.

20:47 You're out for the rest of the year. Yeah, she got expelled. She got expelled. Yeah, she got expelled yesterday. So her mother's out of town. Her mother's in Memphis taking care of some business, whatever. She's staying with grandma. So they called the mama, told her that she was expelled, but the mama was busy, whatever. They called grandma and tell her what was happening or whatever, right? So this child gets up this morning, gets dressed, goes to the bus stop, gets on the bus, goes to school. No, she's not supposed to be at school, right? She goes to she gets her breakfast, goes to the bathroom, goes to the furthest bathroom at the end of the hallway where the special need children are.

21:32 She hides out in a stall, comes out at lunchtime, goes to the cafeteria, gets her lunch, goes back to the bathroom, stays in the bathroom all day until about two o'clock. One of the teachers had to take one of the special needs kids in there and saw some legs in a special needs stall. She was taking a child in a wheelchair and had to use the bathroom and somebody was in the stall. So she knocked on the door. This child came out. She says, go to class. You supposed to be in class. So then she walkie talkie says, I got... Little Miss Susie right here in the bathroom, where is she supposed to be at?

22:15 They come across the walkie-talkie and say, she's not supposed to be here. So this child takes off running down the hallway out the front door at 345. She done ran from bathroom to bathroom to bathroom for about an hour hiding out. And then runs out the front door, runs down the sidewalk as if she's going to walk home. What kind of sense is that? But you didn't want to be here anyway. But you didn't want to be here anyway. Now when you got the permission not to be here, you show up to the building.

22:57 Ain't nobody to play with at home. But you should have thought about that before. Now you show up to the building. Ain't nobody in the bathroom. Nobody at all. Wasn't nobody even in the bathroom with you. You have been sitting in the bathroom all day It's crazy that you mention that Because my brother and them did that one year They know they was suspended Expelled, couldn't even come that year Why y'all coming here on the first day, boy? We finna go to trash Y'all need to get up out of here She hides in the bathroom All day Until they catch her. This is a girl. This is a girl. Middle school girl.

23:37 I don't know. Today's children or something else. But here's what I was going to say about the original topic. That was my drive off the side of it. It goes along with all of this, but that was my drive. Here's what I have to say, and it's a question for all of you all. Everybody wasn't born and raised, well, not raised in a two-parent household. We just talked about parents, and parents are a legal guardian who was supposed to nurture. A lot of us were born, were raised in single parent households with just our moms. Okay. Was it something that was indirectly embedded in us to protect the honor of our moms?

24:20 And that's why inherently some young men, if you say anything about mama, lose their minds, but don't protect their fathers in the same manner. Because your father told you to protect your mama? Well, I just did. You got to look at it. You know, one. I cannot feel the way if you wasn't there. One, you got to look at that connection. Your uncle told you. Your grandpa told you you always protect your mama. No matter what, you always protect your mama. My mama was the one I seen every day, even when I couldn't stand the goods. Right. And the fact that she was the one that showed up. She was the one that showed up all the time. Every day. Yep.

25:04 Whereas, I could tell y'all the issue. I just held my daddy for y'all. Got on this call, man. It's just like, man, I got to call my daddy and have a heart-to-heart with him. Because he don't even understand, brother. And it's not even like I'm targeting him. It's like, I'm not calling nobody. You feel me? I'm not hanging out with people. I'm literally staying focused. Same thing every day. Same thing, different day. I'm just focused on going from one test to another, trying to stay focused and build and keep growing, moving forward. And how is that going right now? How close are you to being to where you need to be?

25:46 Doing good. I'm building, still moving forward. You know what I'm saying? I got an assistant position with this property manager, this female that I know working with her, but I don't know how stable it is. So it's just like everything I do is kind of like contract-to-contract type basis, you feel me, to like get things established to where I can start handing out my own business cards. And it's literally transferring through a whole bank account. But it's going good. You know my spirits, right? You know what I'm saying? I didn't work today, but I worked Wednesday and Thursday, and she's supposedly pulling up on me tonight with the bread after she get off of work. Right. So we're talking about mamas.

26:30 And Bubba says, everybody told you that you should protect your mother. Mm-hmm. Okay get it everybody say you're supposed to protect your mother you are supposed to protect your mother right, but at the same hand why are we not told that words are just words where where's that understanding at where's the understanding that, like i said at the beginning man you don't know my mama yeah, i don't care what you say about it you don't know my mama Like I said, you got a lifelong bond with your mom. Yes, your mama. I do. I still have a lifelong bond with my mother.

27:13 When you can't stand up dirty drawers, you still know that's your mama. That's it. I get that. I get all of that. But I'm trying to get an understanding of where we are as boys and men when it comes to the fact of somebody saying something about your mama that, you, like you said, your mama raised you. You can't stand her, but you love her dirty drawers. Where does the fact come from that I guess so. So you're asking where does the reasoning come in when you understand the fact that, hey man, you don't know nothing about my mama. You don't even know my mama. You don't know nothing about me.

27:54 Right. Does it come with maturity? Like you said, I think it was parenting. parenting, yet again, parenting. Because my mama said, look, I don't care what the folks say about me out there. They don't know me. Right. Right. And I'm going to go as far as to say like, It wasn't even more so about the mama. It was more so about that joke. Like you said, a little peer pressure of him losing the joke. Losing the little conversation. Losing the little battle. The little word battle. He hit me hard. Now I ain't got no comeback. And he slick said my mama, so I'm finna use that as a reason to go and overpower him. Because if I don't, he got me.

28:37 You right. You right. You right. You right. If I don't do this, then I look like a chump. I look like a sucker. I look like... Sometimes when you do shit like that, you still get your... You got your ass with Dwight. And you got your ass with Dwight. Yeah, it don't always work out. You got me with words and you got me visiting. But he jumps off the guy who, said that he thought he said the one that said he said something about my mama after he jumped off the bus he got off at his bus stop, because i told him dead all this conversation because they're in the back going over how i did this to him i did i said dead all that i don't want to hear any of this so when he hopped off the bus he said yeah can't nobody touch me you see how i put them punches on him, so yeah now looking back at it and having this conversation his ego and his pride was hurt more than anything else. More than anything else.

29:39 And as a young man, his ego and his pride was hurt more than anything else. Yeah. He couldn't take it. That's the whole thing with society right now. It's ego and pride. Yeah, man. That's what it comes to. People are real people and the people know me. They shouldn't be able to talk to me no way. They shouldn't be able to talk to me at all. The system is a cold, cold demon, man. It's a cold peace. I'm going to use one of them 70 terms. It's a cold peace. Cold as ice. Very good. Because we all are still dwelling within it, man.

30:24 I mean, all them guys do it. You done did it. I'm pretty sure one eventually. We've all had some people above us and supervisors above us. You could have had the best idea If they've ever heard of you, I'd be willing to implement anything that came out of your mouth because you are beneath them. Yeah. So you shouldn't think like that. And I see, I be seeing it. And that's why, like, when I started to grow in my mind, I pay very close attention, man. And, like, taking my situation. You're not going to tolerate mediocrity. But then you'll bring up what you hold as mediocrity when you're not fulfilling your obligation as excuse and justification for not fulfilling your end of the agreement.

31:12 And it ties back to that societal totem pole. You know, they don't really want me there. I'm a full blown nigga, whereas my boss is a mixed nigga. He's compliant and he's bendable. And he's going to continue to take whatever versus standing on his performance, and who he delegates like he's been doing. And I be seeing those things, and that's why I hold myself as strong as I do because I ain't going to lie to him. Long story short, I'm a front rider. I'm a front liner, man. I don't be trying to be coming off like fucked up in the head or aggressive or nothing like that, but I'm just so serious right now, man. I'm so serious right now because I can't let nobody mistake me.

31:56 For no joke, misunderstand me in the wrong way. Because I done already been through a lot. You know what I'm saying? I come from a broken home. I see what's going on. Not only do I come from a broken home, but those aspects are still playing in today's term. But see, going back to what Joe was talking about, those children, all those children came from the same place. All of them live in the same area. Yeah. So one of them got nothing bigger than yours. But one of them feels like they should have a little bit more respect in the other. You should respect me more than you. That's all about you. That boy baked him. I'm more popular than you.

32:38 Yep. That's it right there. Peer pressure, man. That's it right there. I'm more popular than you, so you need to bow down to me. That's real. And these boys got old men names. Gerald and Donald Ray. I'm serious that's who got the fight Gerald and Donald Ray that ain't nothing to ground for when you said that when you said that I could get pictures of some old fella in the yard Gerald Donald Ray why y'all ain't dancing, Gerald get your ass in this house ain't gonna start a singing group, Donald's gonna be picking up everybody trash, bring back the dramatics man they're going to be the new temptation.

33:39 But here's it's funny it is their names it's funny but here's the here's what, I guess maturity being a father being a brother living on this earth for 47 years I notice when I watch these young people interact and it's crazy. It's not really crazy but it's amazing how you could look at these children, and know what their futures look like and you could be wrong and it could be a prediction but like for instance Gerald is wanting to be the class clown he wants to be the jokester he wants to be the funny man, Donald Ray is a short man he's a short young man and this is the second time Donald Ray's got into a fight, And what I see between the two of them is Donald Ray is going to hurt somebody.

34:35 Yeah. In the future, he's going to hurt somebody. And it's exactly what we're talking about. It's societal and it's the instinct of the beast. People, the children like to pick on him because he's shorter. He's a short name. And. He's going to have to at some point in his life because these children live in the jungle. And I'm not being funny or facetious. These children live off of South 5th, South 6th, South 7th, and South 8th in James Casey Projects. Bottom of it. These children live in the jungle. Yeah.

35:17 Don't call them in bottles of nothing. They live in the jungle. And so you can see the you could see the anger in donald ray's face he's had to face adversities because he's shorter and he's smaller than the rest of the kids and the boy the other boy jerald, jerald is a little bit taller than him and his sister and the rest of the girls on the bus why you fight that little bitty boy why he's shorter than you he's smaller you why and jerald even says but Donald Ray is older than me. Yeah. So, Donald Ray is he's an older boy, but he's smaller in statue. And what I see is, in the future, he's going to hurt somebody.

36:02 Yeah, he's going to reach that limit. Structure now, yeah. If he don't get structure now, well, he can't. I can't gaze. Look, I got to out things because I can't I can't be out. I can't be out physical. So now I got out things. So he don't always, as long as he stays in the mindset, he's being right. Go to the physical. It's going to always go to the physical. He's going to get different ways and thinking he's big and this, that, the other. And like you say, he could go to the left where he hurt somebody and ruin his life forever. Or he can go to the right way and learn some discipline about himself and be like, hey, I'm bigger than that in my mind.

36:47 But you got to think about their surroundings. You have to think about their environment that they live in. And that's the reason why I call it the jungle because it's the survival of the fittest and their role models because we all had immediate role models in our life whether they were good or bad you had some males that were immediate that you saw more than you saw other males so we call those role whether it was an uncle a cousin a father a grandpa somebody you had somebody that was close or around you that you saw all the time or whether it was a neighbor, or a maintenance man or whoever it is that was.

37:30 In your immediate vicinity as a male. And you think about this. In those environments, their immediate role models are not always making the best choices and decisions that they're making. Knowing that these young people are watching them. So if Donald Ray is watching big homie Gip, handle his particular altercations in a certain way, and that's a continuous role model that he sees in life, then he's going to think that that's the way you handle conflict. Well, you know how I feel about all the interior that you just discussed.

38:14 Same way I feel about Universal's Court, same way I feel about AGM. I mean, as far as we have come as a society and as far as we have come as a city, none of that should even still exist. Bulldoze it all. Bulldoze it all. I don't care. Figure it out. Oh, well. Y'all got 90 days. I'm going to tear it down. And it may be the wrong approach about the situation, but the only way to do that whole situation and clean up that whole thing is bulldoze it all. Right. That's coming. as soon as that new stadium get done. Oh, yeah. They're working on that area. That area is gone. That area is gone. You got to think about it. Think about it as far as we have come as society and as far as we have come as a city.

39:00 As far as we can come as a society, as far as we can come as a city. We are a destination city now. You see what I'm saying? Yes, sir. That's what we are now. We're a destination city. See what I mean? you alright, So why are we still, why do we still have pockets in the city that are way below poverty line? And we, not even at the line, they're below the poverty line. They are underneath the poverty line. I mean, they're one breath away from having nothing. Take your turn when you answer that question, because the projects are still standing for a specific reason.

39:44 They are standing for a specific reason. They are. they are standing for a specific reason but they are also still standing for a specific reason, because as a society you don't want to do a police thing and as a city we ain't trying to let people grow, but we also had to realize that I just I used to live over that way and come to find out they got to be a bunch of new management too they got these outside people coming in so I don't know, you know so things shifting once he's no longer useful they gonna definitely get rid of it yeah right so things no longer useful, Well, see, the reason why, okay, as a city, and the reason why we've not gotten rid of some of these there, this is my side note, is because we have no place for these people to go.

40:33 Because we don't want these people in certain areas. So since we don't want them in certain areas, we might as well just leave them with the air. But like Juan just said, we're building a brand new multi-billion dollar stadium to show off our city. And if you look through the glass from the stadium and all you see is the what? Oh, no, that can't happen. That cannot catch it. Something's got to come. That has got to come. That is an eyesore looking for my statement. Sound like a billion dollars. I mean, hey. He talking about having the Super Bowl up by 2030.

41:15 Yes, sir. Somewhere between 28 and 30. We are scheduled. We are in line for the Super Bowl. Somewhere between 28 and 30. Yeah. Like I say. looking out from all that nice glass they just put up that is an eyesore, nope we can't have this we cannot look out all these nice pretty windows we just put up all these big pretty glass we just put up here and we look to the left and all you see is that doodle. I didn't want to say all you see is that you see boarded up windows and then you come out from a game or a concert, and now you hear his gunshots. No, no, no, we can't do that.

41:57 I hate it. We definitely need... More mentorship, man. Very much so. But what is being talked about in this complete moment is infrastructure problems. But to have more mentorship, we have a, if I go to, what is it, MSS? MSS, I think it's Metro Social Services. Metro Social Services has the book. I think it's like, I don't know, like 100-something pages with all the services that we offer in this city. And, you know, if you knew exactly how many programs at all, you see, the thing about that is you need to have, I'm going to go back to what I started with, parents willing to either invest in their children and invest in their children's education and invest in their children's rearing.

42:51 Or we're going to keep repeating the cycle. It's less than repeat. Less than repeat. Less than repeat. Less than repeat. You got it because... But you know what, though? It also makes these services hard to get because you got some parents that's really concerned about their situation and really need those services. But they prolong it and all that and they mediocre and facial and try to make it seem like you're the one that's doing something wrong when you're trying to do the right thing. All the red tape don't make no sense because if the program is there then why all the red tape you get there right when you finally go through the process they ain't even got nothing to offer you exactly everything you gotta wait in line for which means it's all a facade because they really don't wanna do nothing for you right, we gotta do it ourselves I don't know I don't know I kind of disagree cause like not all of them are like that because, here's the thing I know like you said we speak from personal experiences I know two women two amazing amazing women, two women who utilize those programs to uplift themselves and get themselves out of their situations and those two women are my mother and my wife.

44:16 My first address is over there this neighborhood I'm talking about. 533 South 7th Street was the first address I could ever remember in my life in them projects right over there. Went to Warner Elementary, which is two blocks up the street from those projects. My mother, we lived there. My mother got her degree. She got out of the streets. She started teaching. She got her life together. Okay. We moved to a little house over here. People was like, We got this first time homebuyers program. Miss Foster, we can get you in because you were on the system. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She utilized that program, went through the program. Like Bubba said, you have to do it yourself. You have to work these programs yourself. Yes.

45:02 You have to have the drive. You have to have the wheel. You have to have the determination. You have to want it. Right. You have to want it. So my mother wound up buying her first house through housing through metro housing, on their first-time buyers program and also my wife my wife was on section eight when i first went when not when i first met her because she was in this house but, she said she was on section eight for a long time and the worker was like listen you've been on section eight so long you you're paying majority of the rent we're only paying a small percentage of it we have this first-time buyers program, that you can enlist in, but you got to take the classes.

45:43 You got to do all the things that need to happen. You got to do the work. Yeah. Okay. I don't know what he said is, it's just like Habitat for Humanity. They took to build 1,300 brand new homes. They've laid out the layout already and doing it in two separate phases. But the thing about that is you got to put in the work to get work. And these homes come three bedrooms, two or three and a half baths. I mean, but you got to put in the work. You need one of these. You got to fill out the break. You got to put in the work. At what cost? What do you mean? At what cost? Going to a class. Going to a class. Like what I'm saying, not everybody, not everybody is bad.

46:25 Right. Everybody's not bad. To take what you were just saying, and I'm going to get to my point not saying this. I respect your mom and your wife. You know this. I haven't met your moms yet, but I haven't met your wife. But that's two women out of... I know exactly what you're saying. You're right. You're right. I'm not saying it can't be for our benefit. I'm not there. Hold on. Let him get his point out. I'm not saying that we can't use this system for our benefit and escape. What I'm saying is that those types of most ways of acting and prospering from the system come from a mind that wants to build for itself.

47:13 Very true. I agree with that. So we got to put it through and for ourselves first because I hate that it's almost, it's better for us to give up on the youth versus trying to help them because it's so crazy. But I would be crazy to say something like it out of my mouth to be thinking like it. I never, like normal. Right. We ain't getting up on them. Here's the thing. We're having conversation to figure out. All of these conversations are to figure out how to help the next young man. These conversations, whether we do it as a combined group or we do it on an individual basis out in this world, these conversations we're having is for the next generation.

47:56 It's for you to help somebody else. It's for you to be a good steward. It's all right. It's all right. Now, come on with what you was going to say, because I kind of ad-lipped in on that. Come on. But making away ourselves, like I was saying, like, we can only... We have to hold ourselves accountable, man, because before we go looking for help, you have to already know exactly what you mean. You know what I mean? And help from outside sources is supposed to aid in your own agenda. And like I was saying, I don't want to give up on these young guys. I never do that. But at the same time, in today's world, a lot of people see it as profitable to not be worried about the youth because they already too far gone.

48:45 I agree i agree i do agree with that hard we in like a real pickle right now if they say because i'm like, being a frontliner and being a person being a good follower that's also a good leader you know, what i'm saying i'm saying it's it's it's all we can do is lead by example for really hold ourselves accountable because you got to be real, I guess somebody's still trying to call him. But I get what he's saying. But we're basically, that's exactly what I was saying also. We have to be good stewards to the youth and the people around us. We have to be able to know that. And you could say, anybody could say, look, I ain't messing with them.

49:27 I just give up on them. These young cats ain't nothing. They ain't going to listen no ways. You don't know if they're going to listen if you don't give them an opportunity to listen. And you're right. You are correct about that. But I live it now. I live it every day. For a minute or more. So let me ask you this. Let me ask you all this. So we say accountability. So what do we do when we run into the young guys and we see that they do something, that's just out of the ordinary? Let's say something that we know better. You know, do we say something or do we not say something?

50:07 You read you like what a cow look like okay here's the thing I get with and that's a great question that's a great question, you gotta know how to read the thermometer you gotta know how to read the temperature you gotta know how to, because like you said everybody you walk up on a young you can't just walk up on a young man hey you're doing that ain't right how you do it right there young man that's not how you do it you have to read the temperature. You have to know. It's like anything else. Like, Riley, you talked about walking in that room and having a conversation with a gentleman that you thought you would never have a conversation with because you walked in and you read the temperature in that room.

50:50 So that's the same way you treat with these young men. You got to read the temperature in the room. If you see he's aggressive, then you figure out how to address him in a manner to de-escalate the situation. He doesn't seem aggressive. He doesn't take it as aggressive. Right. He doesn't take it as aggression. I got to think. but bro where we are right now is. I'm at the point where I'm just going to give it to you I'm sorry take it how you want it is what it is I'm going to give it to you and put this rock on my shoulder and there you knock it off, why do we have to go back to the rock.

51:40 I gave you the character Now, you want to knock this rock off and take this stick to be my kid. I mean, there's some of them, and I don't know if it was Jamari or somebody said they rode around with boxing gloves in their trunk. I think we all need a pair of boxing gloves, two pair of boxing gloves in our trunk. Because there are some situations where these young boys need to be boxed. But I say, like I said, I said, feel just feel the temperature, feel the atmosphere. Because we all have the ability to read somebody. Now, you might read them wrong, but if you, it's like you go into a room, we've had this conversation before about marks in the room. If you walk in the room and you don't know who the mark is, you the mark.

52:30 But if you walk into that room with a mindset of I'm surveyed a room. OK, over there, that brother look like he might be doing something. She over there look like she might be doing something. Him over there look like he might be doing something. And you figure out where everybody moves are. You figure out. I mean, I work for security, so that's why I have that mindset. I don't care where I'm at, Walmart, the doctor's office, a schoolhouse, an outhouse, an in-house, a hen house. I'm surveying the land and I'm reading the temperature of the room when I walk into that some gun. I don't care where I'm at if I walk in the house and I'm sure well okay where the dog at where's my daughter that's my son that's my wife then I'm looking at everybody's face I need to see everybody's face because I need to see where you at are you mad are you sad are you happy that's it that's that's what I'm saying you got to check the temperature no matter what room you walk into. Thanks.

53:29 And just like Riley, you had that conversation with that. You had an amazing conversation with that gentleman. You all found out that you knew some of the same people, but walking into that room, you didn't know that you was going to have that conversation with that particular gentleman. It's the same way with these young boys. You see them out. He's like, hey, man, what's going on? And that's why a long time ago, I started the initiative. Just speak to somebody. Just ask the brother, hey, what's going on with you? How'd you get up? You know what I'm saying? Hey, brother, how you doing? They really meaning me. Right. And you never know what, because I've had so many conversations with people just off of, hey, brother, how you doing today?

54:12 And it turns, and it's not just black people, it's white people, it's whoever. People in this day and time, in this climate, are so wound up. Think what I'm saying is it's a trying and you don't say anything. Like you said, we read the rules and we say we're holding accountability. Okay. Accountability. Different generations have came up different. Now this generation don't see it the way we see it. Very true. We read the rules to a point. We do it come to a point where you can't or don't say anything and you're just like, man, this is just useless.

54:54 You know what I'm saying? That's real. That's real. I'm being here by a youngster and speak to them and they may not say anything to you. It was a time that's unheard of. You know, you're going to speak back. But when it's time to say, young man, did you hear me speak to you? You know? I mean, it's a certain day of time. You really don't know what's on the mind. But what I'm trying to say is when do there come a time when you just don't say anything? When you read the temperature and the temperature says, keep it moving. Just being honest with you. If you walk into a situation. Okay.

55:37 But if you look at it like that, though, brother, if you look at it like that, when you read it, you can read that temperature in a lot of rooms and a lot of situations and a lot of places that we be in. You be like, you know what? I might want you to keep moving because it ain't worth it. It ain't worth the hassle. Right. It ain't worth the hassle nor the headache. I mean I'm like Riley now so when you're talking when you're when you walk up to the room and you're holding you're, holding a conversation and you and you hear the conversation is just not it's not getting anywhere I mean it's not going it's like hitting your head and hitting that wall, like the wall is poop but your head is getting bloody and bloody, Look to your left, look to your right, and whichever way the exit is.

56:33 You turn your feet and your head towards that exit. Just find the exit out. Just find the nearest exit and get out. I mean, I get what you're saying, Riley, and that's a really great question. It's amazing because there are times where you feel like, hey, man, look at it. I don't even want these problems today. I've had a good day. Life has been wonderful. I'm feeling good. I'm going to keep this winning streak, and I'm going to move on. And say a little prayer under your breath and move on. I mean, that's it. I mean, because we are not problem solvers.

57:17 We can't solve all the problems. You can assist in it, but there are, you, Riley, there are some situations where you just have to keep it moving. You just got to keep it pushing. I don't know what that looks like. And I say this because I say this because Hold on, Rob. Okay, great. What both of y'all just said in the Ecclesiastes because I've been thinking about this a lot. I was thinking about this a lot. I was thinking about Noah and God and all this. And I thought about what Noah possibly could have said this. I can't say very much. I can't say very much. And at this point in time, where I am right now, I can't say it really because I got one in my house that I truly believe I can't say.

58:01 And I ain't think I would ever say that when it came to a child. But I got one I feel like I can't say. I don't know. I done threw a whole lot of stuff against the wall. And ain't nothing stuck. I put a whole lot of words in the ear. Ain't nothing got trapped in the middle. Come on with it, Ralph. And I come to this point because I say this at homecoming, TSU homecoming, was at a tailgate. Oh, my. Here we go. And a friend and her husband was taking a picture, and yet another friend taking our picture.

58:43 This young man walked right in between us while she was taking our picture. And I reached out to grab him like to touch his hand and said man you know better. But the other brother that was with me he said man don't it ain't no use if he was that ignorant to do that it ain't no use to talking to him you don't know how far that man go, And I really wanted to talk to him after we took the picture. I said, man, can't you see we were taking the picture? Why would you do that? But he told me that he talked to me. He had to talk to me to let it go because I really wanted to let it go.

59:26 But he had a good point. He said, you don't know how this dude, man. If he was that ignorant to walk past while we was taking the picture, he's too ignorant to talk to. Yeah, he was already gone. Yeah, yeah. He was already gone? What's going on? When you don't realize that you disrespecting somebody, you already know. But do they really know what disrespect looks like anymore? Man, if you walk in... That's common sense right there. You see a group of people taking a picture, you don't walk in front of the lens. Now you said there's common sense. I'm getting done. Right, that's what happened. I tend to disagree with you.

1:00:08 So if y'all see somebody taking a picture, y'all gonna walk right in front of the camera? Us. Oh, not us. Trump be in a zone. They be in their own zone. Okay. All right. So to your point. You can stop and tell the person to take the picture. You can get in the picture. I'll take your plug, y'all. I want you to go into any... Listen, listen. Yeah. I want you to go... Since you want to know where we going to. I want you to go downtown during lunch hour, during the day, and see how many people are walking down the sidewalk into the street with their heads down and their telephones. Walking out in front of cars. Walking in front of buses. Wonder why they getting hit. Right. Right.

1:00:54 Wonder why they falling in potholes. I mean, the same hole. Where do you? I'm going to tell you guys. So Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning. I was on my normal route. I was coming through the neighborhood. I have a parent over kindergarten. She had a younger child. They have a younger child. You know they wasn't even watching their child walked out in front of my foot, i had to slam on my brakes i was already coming up to the stop they let their child walk out in front of my breath, and what would they do they were on the sidewalk i don't know i don't even that brother i stopped and i had i literally sit there for five minutes while you shaped up the stop because, i had the kids i had to gather myself back remember what i was doing that just stopped me all the way off of the road.

1:01:41 I believe it. In my mind, I'm like, how you, did you just let your two-year-old walk out in front of me? You see, the mind likes to flash. You know I'm coming. And what that means? But you didn't. You didn't grab your child's hand. You let them run out in front of me, just run out of the street. And my thought, and my mindset was, so what if it hadn't been in the bus? What if it hadn't been in the car? I was already stocking. Okay. What was you possibly doing that you, and they probably, and I think it is how they phone me. What was you possibly doing that was so important that you let your two year walk around the road? Right. But that's this. This all goes back to it. We are. There's no structure. There's no.

1:02:27 Why did that two year old even have the inf to just walk out into the road in the first place? Nobody told him that that was wrong, but that was bad. You need to stay beside mama. You need to stay beside daddy. You don't cross without without us. Without us. Did somebody swat his butt? The child's butt? No. Right. Fine but you also you also have to look at the current time with way these folks killing all their kids and just don't seem to kill you know and it's like look at me like like i was the one in the room. I didn't see my child out in the road. I keep the child about to run in the road.

1:03:13 I didn't want to whoop the child, kid. Where was the adult? The adult was on the sidewalk. And the kid walked onto the street. Yes. But you want to whoop the child. No, Bubba didn't want to whoop the child. Bubba wanted to whoop the parents. I'm talking about the parents. I didn't want to whoop the child. I did not want to whoop the child at all nah Bubba didn't want to whoop we don't want to whoop the child we want to whoop the parents in that situation if I could have got off that bus just didn't believe, I might be on suspension right now, I'm glad you didn't get off of that because I had because you read the rules, hey couldn't you take the temperature.

1:04:03 Listen listen go ahead I already had a buzz load so I couldn't get off because now I'm in danger and arresting these people that's on here cause yeah, if that had been my first stop oh yeah I'd have been on suspension right now, cause I'd have whooped him and then gave him another call please call call so they can download my video call them. Girls. We're glad that wasn't your first stop there. Right, right. Glad it wasn't your first stop. You didn't need to be able to switch it. I would have handed them the card to let them know what it's called. Here's the number right here. I have a stock up in my backpack. Here's the number right in. Gonna get them a call.

1:04:47 So Riley Riley was sick. But now who that was in today's climate? No, that was me talking about check the climate and check the atmosphere. That was me saying, check the atmosphere, because he was asking about the young men. Oh, yeah. I understand all that. He walked downtown on their phone in the middle of the day. Yes. And we're talking about, not just talking about the tourists, not just the tourists. We're talking about the people that work down. That's what I'm talking about in the first place. I ain't talking about the tourists. I'm talking about the people that work downtown. And I swear, act like it's, and you pull up on them, like, because it's your time to go when they look at you like, I know you see me walk with him.

1:05:30 And I look back at him like, I know you've seen that green light. Size they don't want oh they're gonna keep going that's that's chicago right there. Everybody got no time to wait on nobody you got to be like new york get on cross that street that's right get on over there, okay now you say that that makes me bring up something else when it comes to these children's society and everything and working with children you see some of these parents who try to, befriend their children or want them to grow up faster than they should be growing up and put them in particular places in adult situations and places it does that have, in from your opinion have you ever seen someone who's rushing their child to be older than what they are do you think that hurts them psychologically and emotionally yes yes That's how I've seen it.

1:06:31 Especially if you go like New Orleans. In New Orleans. That's how the culture is. I was literally seeing a baby that probably just started walking. Walked out of the store. I was in a Dollar General. And the baby literally just walking out the door. Because the door was open automatically. And the father was like, say, bro, where you going? Get back here. And I'm like, that's a baby. That baby does not understand you. Go get your baby. You know, It's like, bro, where you going, homie? Yeah, it's like, go get your baby. That's a baby. Baby just started walking. You can tell. So they had to grow.

1:07:13 Here's what you're talking about, Andy. The lack of structure. The lack of guardrails. They ain't got no bumpers. No, none of that. They didn't know. The wheels just let the wheels fall off. They threw him right out there. They threw him right out there. Yeah. You knew it. Thank you. I just threw them right out there. Right after they... You just came out the crib. But it's like the sea turtles. You know, sea turtles drop them eggs and they gone. When they come out the shell, they're on their own. And we're supposed to be the dominant species. Okay.

1:07:54 We're supposed to be the smartest species. Supposed to be. Yeah. You ask, have you ever seen? I'm living it right. You know how to get everything. Right. I know your situation. I know your situation exactly. We've had a conversation about it. A child. A parent has turned their child into one to turn a child into an adult before they were even close to being rich. And does it affect their mental? Yes, it affects their mental. Because they are 15 years old, but yet have a mindset of a 6 and 8 year old. That's in the scripture too though. The child becoming a parent and the parent becoming a child I'm supposed to be old and in diapers by that time.

1:08:42 Since you want to read what the clip was let me go there and lay it down now for, you and what it say it has a timing. Now I'm supposed to be old and in diapers and what would it be yeah when a parent becomes a child the child becomes a parent. Yeah. You get old. Yes. The child starts taking care of the parent. Yes. We have become a society to where grandma is 40, mama is 27, and then you got this 16-year-old child. And this is where it comes from for me.

1:09:24 I've watched these situations where these people still want to party, no matter what the age. I'm just throwing out examples. I need to get out and still try to live my life. And I don't understand, I guess, because the way I was raised, these parents that feel like to a certain degree, they're missing something outside and outside is just a general life term outside. They're missing something. So I can't sit around and watch you. So now you got to go with me. So when I go pick up my weed, when I go to my boyfriend's house, when I go to my girlfriend's house, I need you.

1:10:05 You got to ride with me. So I need you to be acting. You're five, but I need you to I need you to portray as 10 or 13. You understand what I'm saying? And so now you don't have an opportunity to grow. And the cognitive brain doesn't have the room to grow because now you've had to jump from five to 13. And now you don't know what's going on because you were put in you at five, you were put in a 13 year old's place. Go for it. Yeah, because, you know, I look at the situation with COVID, you know, where you had a lot of parents or whatever who were either sick or whatever the case may be, you know, couldn't work, whatever.

1:10:55 So, you know, you had a lot of kids that were like forced to go out there and, take some responsibility, you know, try to make ends meet or whatever. I mean, I work with kids now, you know, today, you know, when they come in all time, they've been working on, you know, and they've been working. You got some parents come pick up their kids just, you know, for. Work, you know? Right. I'm talking about in a different capacity than that. I understand that. But I'm talking about in a capacity for my, not for to help the family. I ain't talking about in that capacity of maturing a child. I'm talking about it.

1:11:36 Right. That's what being put out there. Right. Yeah. You got something out there just, like I say, parenting themselves, you know. Might have some kids out there, you know, asking for money, you know. I mean, I literally had a cat, you know, got me, asked me for some money. They said he needs some money to get his little sister something to eat, you know. He couldn't have been no more than about probably like 12, 13, something like that. Gotcha. I understand. That's not the situation. I hope you do what you say you're going to do. You know what I'm saying? Right. And those are not the situations I'm talking about. Those are not the situations I'm talking about where a child is put in a place where they have to be a provider.

1:12:20 I ain't talking about those particular situations because those happen. I'm talking about a child that's five, but mama is still running the streets, so she needs you to act like you're 13. Or daddy is still running the streets. You talking about these kids that left at the house by they self? Left at the house by they self, okay that happens a lot, right, right for example yeah. On one of these she was on a love show listen to this she was on a show trying to find love and her question is how does she find her a man when she's got, does she still have time for love and be able to give a man all of her when she has 14 kids god, that sound like flowers in the attic it's going to take a strong man for that, you gotta, you gotta go find that brie, there you go see bubbles on it see see the real the real understand Come on with it, Bubba.

1:13:44 Let love find you. Just stop looking. I'm just dead. You're looking under the wrong arm. I'm just kidding. 14 kids. She might have a hidden treasure now. Yeah. After 14 kids, it ain't hid no more. Good job. We know that thing's fine. After 14 kids, it's not. Hitting no phone no it's it's still hitting if she's 14, men she she she has 14 kids by 12 different men now yeah i want y'all to soak this in because i'm finna hit you in the face with something real i'm finna hit you in the face real hard i'm finna hit you in the face real hard with this, now she's got 14 children and she's still out here looking for love all right she's still out here looking for love.

1:14:41 But what attention are you giving these kids and you have 14 of them? The first five of them are taking the blunt of her messed up decisions. The other nine. Because they have to raise the other nine. So now you're creating mama problems, daddy problems, and you're creating monsters. And you're creating the problem for them looking for love, too. Right. Right and they're also watching her in this space so if she doesn't know what love is after 12 men and 14 children what do they know about love not a damn thing, what they gonna learn about love nothing they gonna learn about fucking though they gonna learn everything about love.

1:15:40 You come and go you gonna be coming though They're going to know how to kick a motherfucker up and drop a motherfucker off real fast. They say rolling a stone right there. You're getting too comfortable. You're getting too comfortable. You got to go. No. That stone is rolling. That's a bunch of stones rolling. Yes. That's a bunch of what? I said, that's a bunch of stones rolling. So you're saying that's a gravel pit. Man, rolling stones. Gravel pit. Dump truck. Oh, yeah. Dump truck. That's a good one, Dump Truck. That's a serious dump. They ain't going to know nothing about love. They ain't going to know nothing about structure, family, none of that. Oh, no.

1:16:25 Know. I mean, they are learning about structure. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Come on, come on. Who was watching the first three when you had the second three? Who was watching the first three when you made the second three? What's the age gap? Yes. I need some ages to go with this. You're the half apart, baby. Yes. Yes, they're all a year and a half apart. She spent most of her life pregnant. She's 40. She's been most of her life on her back. Not pregnant. Give it right for, her. Yeah.

1:17:09 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She don't even know how to stand. Her leg get weak when she stand up. Lord have mercy. Shut up, friend. I thought, um but it all goes into the conversation like the boy at the beginning of the conversation and he thought somebody said something about his mama but he, as as said in this conversation he already wanted to fight and he didn't even hear the whole insult, now you got 14 children all in this one house 14 children well I think she said 13 12 12 of them are still at home two of them one's gone to college one moved out.

1:17:57 You got all these children at home, what kind of understanding do they get out in this world when somebody say, your mama, your mama's so fat? What has she taught them except what y'all said, protect mama at all costs? But what kind of understanding are they getting? Do you want to get pregnant? You also have to look at which one had the closest relationship to them all. Because you know that it's going to be she didn't have time for all the rest of me she was having them that's the one you gotta look for the one that took care of everybody when she was having the rest of them, but doesn't that feel resentment I was about to say he took the way around my mouth resentment it does, feel resentment and the one that took care of the rest of them the one that took care of the rest of them when she was having her other ones ain't gonna ever want kids a day in their life right right, but does that one still protect mama like this little boy?

1:18:56 Because mama put me in these situations. Mama put me... That's the first one to run away. They never come back? They never come back. The second they get an opportunity, all you see them is on holidays. You only see them on holidays. Mama can't even call them and ask them for nothing. Mama ain't got it. Little Johnny need to get his shit together. Mama ain't got it. But that's, My whole situation with that is she's still out here looking for love. I told you to stop looking and let love find you. When love do find you, that nigga, boy, he's going to find a whole, a whole host of things. Boy.

1:19:42 Here's the thing we've glanced over. Priorities, boundaries, structure, and teaching emotional control. And somewhere that woman was led astray and wasn't taught what love is. And I don't think a lot of us really know exactly what love really looks like. I'm not saying us on this panel, but I'm talking about adults out here in the world because our examples of love is what we saw on TV. And that's a fantasy. And a lot of us in the back of our minds are looking for that fantasy.

1:20:22 You know, women are looking for the knight to ride up on a steed and rescue them. Yeah. And most men are looking for their mama. If he says, Steve, we must be in the 30s. And most men are looking for a woman that is so close to their mother because of that mother's love. That most of us grew up in single parent homes that what does love really look like yeah and that household, well I don't you don't you know you just ain't got no picture of love nowhere around none of that I mean, it's the way we're going right now and the rate we're going right now love is, how many followers you got how can you both are you trending Can you go viral?

1:21:19 That's what they consider love. Now is that love is that love i'm gonna say not but that's my opinion, but to them to them love is letting the children these days love is letting me just let me run wild just whatever i can't go as i please right, and they don't understand the structure of love love has a structure everything has a structure like you talked about noah and god and and the people he says god i can't save everybody. That was a hierarchy and a structure and an understanding of, hey, God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son, but we can't save everybody. Everybody is not going to be saved.

1:22:01 I can't say, I can do my best to save everybody, but I'm not going to be able to save everybody. And us that work in the schools understand that. We can try. We do it for the love of the children. it ain't about the money i mean yes we need money to survive. In this day and time but it's more bubba we can go out and drive a a dump truck we can go drive a trash truck we can go drive a 18 wheeler and have and have more peace than what you have right now right, but i stick at my job because i love what i do, i love being the first person they see in the morning and i make all my kids fist bump me so they know, good morning fist bump mr joe in the afternoons have a great day fist bump mr joe so i'm building structure to understand that you greet me i'm building a structure, right you understand that you meet when you see somebody you're supposed to greet them i don't know what they got going on at home, but they know when they see mr joe he gonna be smiling and he's going to greet me.

1:23:08 Supposed to fist bump him even if they don't even know what the fist bump means they do it anyways, yep i i have a thing where i tell all of mine on all three tears i tell them when i when i pull up and drop off i say y'all have a great day everybody remember to smile you never know your smile might write to somebody's date and remember to treat everybody how you want to be treated and don't get mad when somebody treats you the way you treated them, and my and my tears can respect fight that because I say it every single day. I tell that to all three fears every single day. Yeah, y'all gotta remember, you gotta smile. Y'all can't be mad. It's too early in the morning. I just spent my eyes through them. It's too early in the morning to be looking like that.

1:23:53 You can't be mad at breakfast. You ain't even had breakfast yet. You already made it. Come on now. These wait till the bacon is burnt. So, I mean, the question was asked how do we figure it out? You build a structure, Even if it's just somebody you see driving down the street, walking down the street, just wave at them. Be nice, whatever. When they see you again, they're going to wave at you. I met a guy at a gas station. Are you driving a school bus? We talk. So the next time he see me, hey, it's you, the guy that drives the bus. Because he remember I was genuine in the interaction that we had. So it's still building a structure. It's still building a structure of understanding and communication.

1:24:33 The small gesture of him coming over to say, how do you like driving a school bus? And we carried on a small conversation. But the next time I saw him, he greeted me with love. Because I showed him genuine love. And that's all we have to do in society today. And it may be small. It may be one person at a time. But if a group of us in our everyday life continue that interaction. We can hopefully make a change. Children, grownups, whoever. The lady with the 14 kids, we can't do nothing with her except pray for a man, with a lot of strength and a good job.

1:25:19 But, boy, his back better be strong. The four might be strong with him. That boy better be a silver bank. Because he going to have to hold a whole lot up. A whole lot. That might better be benching 500. Damn you, brother. 14. I'm talking about anything going good. Date was lovely. You got the best personality. You was so beautiful. You sweet. You kind-hearted down to earth. You got 14 kids. That's the question. we're about to hold on hold on real quick what do you do ma what do we exit strategy we got 10 minutes left in the show strategy that's the question that's the question let's go out on this so ma you just set us up for this you just set us up for this you the the, the scenario you just gave us is wonderful it's excellent so, yeah pretty most of us pretty much have somebody everybody's married or got a woman at home but if you're still out in the dating world, and you meet this woman in the dating world like you just everything you described it was late it was great she got a great personality she's she's what you prefer what you like in looks and everything, and then at the end of and then in some interaction conversation you have about

1:26:49 children life and all of that she hits you with oh i got 14 kids. Your answer what what's your answer and what's your next step everybody in the room give me some how do you take care of them yeah. So what are you doing to take care of them you know the way i feel gonna come out in some type of weird tell. I'm going to be real. I'm going to be real. Baby, you need some girls. You're going to need some girls. I'm going to let you go.

1:27:33 She got the quarterfile for snap. You're going to swim my back, bro. After I hit 14. My ex is saying, My ex is trying to think he's going to be trying to buy some food stamps. I'm trying to buy some food stamps for the night over. Ma said he's trying to prop it out the situation. Ma, let me take you some food stamps. I got you. Listen, I'm going. To give you $25 on the dollar. I'm going to give you $25 on the dollar here.

1:28:14 But I know she got to have some hustle about herself. Ain't more. Ain't more. I'm going to match it dollar for dollar. Give me $500. I'm going to give you $500. Man, dollars for dollar. You deserve a bit of that. Wait, y'all. My girl getting $1,500. You need a whole $500. She getting $3,500 in full sales. Oh, man. Baby girl, I'll fuck with you. We can be cool as hell, but I can't even risk diving in there and getting a part of it. Mm-mm. We can be freeing forever. That's two, three rubbers. That's two, three rubbers. You know what? I would be like, you know what?

1:28:58 Interesting. I'm going to say, golly, girl. I'm going to be like, interesting. You know what? We're friends. Break that down for me. NMC, my mind goes into dirt mode. How did that happen? Yeah, you got to break that down. How did it happen, baby? You got to break that down. Did you fail it? I'm going to take you on a second date for the story. I might i might ask you straight up i got to hear this you just want yourself another day, because i'm about to know how this happened 14 in football no that's two that's two starting fives with with some subs riley come on what you got for me riley, Like you said, that's the first thing. How do you manage to take care of all these kids?

1:29:59 And the next question, who's helping you? Because I was afraid of being in that mind. I got dollar for dollar for you. Riley said, I'm not going to be in that. But you know what? If you look at some of these professional athletes, It's a pretty good number of them That come from large families With a lot of kids So maybe one One could be the winning ticket That's how it be Right, right That's how it be Hold on, hold on, hold on So are you willing to gamble For that one winning ticket? I ain't, nah No I'm gonna talk to you there So I can have a security injury, No, it's a one in 14 One in 14 Is that a fact?

1:30:51 Matter of fact, just let me buy the food stamps. But Pete is here. Now you might just see the potential. You might just see that potential in that one or maybe that two. Now he's going to bring the odds up. One. Just hang around. You have already been further than I'm going to go. This is what he had. You know who the optimist is in the world? Why? like what is what is trying to he's trying to give this woman some some grace bae everybody else is like exit stage left and she she got to have some hustle about herself she got to have some hustle i mean think about it take 14 kids and you're grinding and still trying to find love i'm i'm i'm popping popcorn at this point.

1:31:50 Oh, man. You maintaining. Listen. Let me buy the food stamps. Let me buy the food stamps, and that's another bag in your pocket. You hear me? It just goes straight transactional. It's just going straight transactional. Man. I can't do nothing else with you. You can call me at the first of the month, every first of the month, and I buy whatever you want to sell. I'm trying to tell you. Because you need the cash. I'm telling you. I'm a repeat customer when they come to them steps, but other than that, hey. See, I'm sitting like this, how big is your house? I'm going to know, I'm like- That's it, that's where my mind goes. I want to know all the particulars.

1:32:37 Where you live at? How many rooms is in your house? How many sets of bunk beds do you got? Super so she's swimming pooling that is a full size 15 passenger van that ain't no minivan, that is not a minivan if she driving anything smaller than a 15 passenger van, she need to give it up cause you can't take all your kids with you at one time she is, driving she's driving a Nissan MB300 she got a short face, that way she got short face Man, as a coach, as a coach, but I'm right.

1:33:19 I'm right. Gotta have space. Get a grocery store with you. I ain't nowhere anywhere you can take on it. It's so crazy. It sounds fine, but it's a trap. It's a real trap. But grocery shopping go real fast. Everybody get out. Here's your part of this. Here's your part of this. Meet me at the register. you don't lose 14 kids. Man I can't do it that's the headache that's 14 I ain't even trying to have 14 kids, that take a lot of structure y'all gotta think about it back in the day you used to literally have families like that like my great grandma that's what I said it take a lot of structure man yeah it take a lot of structure yeah, I got a great-grandmother that had that minute. And then her sisters, her mama them had that minute. And I be like, uh-uh, nowhere in the world. What? Oh, yeah, who?

1:34:17 That's Gerald Jr. Every holiday we meet somebody new? That's Gerald Jr. Donald Ray Jr. That's Daryl the Four. Right, right. But look at it. Somebody had to work the farm, man. Somebody had to work it. Right, right. You can't work it by yourself. Now we ain't got no farm, though. but you got to build your squad. What's she calling me that one? No, I'm talking about back in the day. You know, somebody you know. I did it back in the day. Now she ain't going to go home. But you know. She got no workers though. Mark says in the comments, he says heavens, the meta is the metric or Venus even. Megatroid.

1:35:08 Or Venus even. It was in stage left. That's what I think. It's in stage left. It's in stage left. It's in stage left. Her daughter's here. Yeah, it's 14 us. She'll never get a bed. I said, I'll be right back. No, not the right back. Hey, look, I got to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute. Listen, man, take this. This is for table 15. Ma, what'd you say? You out with one of her daughters. Yeah, I got 13 brothers and sisters. No, man. It's old. You got how many brothers? Yeah, I can't even do that. Everybody choose an instrument. A little sort of band.

1:35:55 Now we go with Joe Jackson on him. Now we go with Joe Jackson on him. We got a group of Temptations. Now we go with Joe Jackson on him. You got to do some talent. You got to do some talent. We got a group of new addition and everything. No joke, Joe. Right. Joe Jackson, you going to make everybody learn an instrument on him. That's a marching band. That ain't the J.P. I was a marching band. Listen. 14 friends just turned you into a homegirl. Listen. They turned you into a homie. Hey, hey, hey. We got about two minutes left. So here's what I have to say for tonight, fellas. Listen, we've had a good time with this. It's been a great conversation.

1:36:39 But the original thing was about the young man. And like I said, if we go one person at a time, one day for day, that's all we have. Enjoy your ride on this life, but make a difference. Make a difference in somebody's life, whether it's smiling at them, waving at them, having a conversation. As we all know, a smile can change somebody's day. A simple hello can change somebody's whole atmosphere. It can change the temperature in them. So these young men out here are dying to be men. So we've got to show them that you ain't got to die to be a man.

1:37:20 That's not what masculinity or male looks like, that I have to prove myself to be a man. It's gentleness. It's kindness. It's understanding. Sometimes it doesn't always look that way. But if we just take it day for day and jester for jester and just show them something different, that's mentorship. We ain't got to be in a group. We ain't got to be all together at once. We can do it one person at a time. Jesus didn't he didn't he didn't heal a group. He walked through the village and he healed the blind man laying down. He healed the woman. He healed this person over here.

1:38:00 But it was one miracle at a time. It wasn't a thousand years because it went to Right. Saying you got to be christ-like but i'm saying be close enough to him to where you can change somebody's somebody's day amen, that's it in a nutshell even a lady with the 14 kids you never know what she's going through because 14 kids is a lot smile at her be nice to her you know 14 kids is draining two kids is draining one kid is draining, so a kind gesture a nice one i need I need everybody to hear her $100 bill. Get her a crisp $100 bill when you're going to cross up.

1:38:41 Go straight into pocket. Go straight into pocket. Yes. Straight into it. Hold on. Hold on, White Queen. Let me go. Hey, you some right now. I know one of them hungry. But, fellas, I love y'all. It's always great to hear everybody's voice. Mark, it's always great to see you here, man, and hear your voice and have you in the room, Jamari, Juan, Riley, Bubba. It's always good. Let's do this again next Friday, man. Y'all take it easy now. I love everybody. If ain't nobody told you today, I love you. Love y'all, y'all, bro. Peace and love. Peace and love, man. Y'all have a good one.

1:39:25 All right now.