Let It Go: Why We're Holding On and How to Move Forward

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Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Kickdeck.

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I am your host, the dude, and as we do every Friday, we come through like a

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villain in the night and start to show off right.

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This is a place where we have great conversation, we do some amazing things,

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and we just find his brother.

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But welcome to The Kickdeck.

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And it's another Friday night. It's going to be another great conversation.

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We'll see if I can get the road started early. And that way, everybody can go.

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Hello, gentlemen. How's everybody doing tonight? What's good,

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Willie? What's good, Willie?

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Man, I can't call this. Juan, it's been a while. How you doing,

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my brother? I'm about to see you. I'm back finally.

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Oh, sure. We got Juan in building tonight, too?

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Man, it's been a minute. Mr. Wattliner himself.

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Been rolling, brother. Been rolling. How has these last few days been rolling for you?

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The past month. It's just, you know, had some deaths in the family. The graduation.

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I think you've been rolling. Yeah. My condolences on the deaths in the family.

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Yeah, thank you. How you been? Huh? I said, how you been?

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Yeah, I've been tired.

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I just feel it. Understandable. You know, kind of drain you mentally,

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emotionally, physically. Yeah.

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I get it. I totally get it, bro.

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It is hard trying to deal with everything when it hits you like that.

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When it comes at you like that, yes, it's hard. It is hard to deal with when

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everything comes at you Like that.

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That is a lie. That's a lie.

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We were just here and Bubba were having a conversation about death earlier today. We were? Yeah.

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How people respond to death. Everybody responds to death in a different way.

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So it's all about how you respond to it. Nice.

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Everybody responds to it in a different manner.

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Death is inevitable. We all don't one day, but I don't think we are really ready.

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But Bubba made a pretty interesting observation about death, which I agreed with him.

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You know sometimes people just,

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you know people are going to die so why not make a man you know why not try

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to fix it why not try to make things better instead you walk around with a grudge or,

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weight on your shoulders and when they die you hit the funeral falling all over the gas hmm.

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Because you never got the opportunity to say you were

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sorry or my dad or look

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no man we we gotta fix this right yeah you walk around with that animosity that

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animosity and that that take mine off please that animosity and that that just

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that uh so i don't know if you can call you can call it jealousy.

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You just always nothing they do is good enough and everything they did was wrong,

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and then instead of you making amends and being like you know what let's go

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ahead and call a space babe.

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Let's do better with each other you'd rather walk around and be mad at the world,

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But for what? Yeah. It do get to a point where, you know, it's like,

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it's like, what we doing?

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You know, time passing by. We do.

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So, you know, it's like, yeah, it's like, why?

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It's like, what's the game from all that, you know?

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Yeah. And I say, I said that earlier, and I said it earlier.

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It's like, how are you still holding on something from five years ago?

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I used to hold on something from

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two years ago I guarantee you don't even remember half of what happened,

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you don't even remember why you mad you just know you still mad,

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even you you know it's still your side you still see that point of view oh yeah,

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they don't even know you mad at them oh yeah now you mad cause they dead,

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right and you never got a chance Do what you were going to do.

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Say what you were going to say.

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So now you manually die. You didn't get to speak on it. You didn't get to make

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them feel bad about themselves.

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Yeah, come on now. And you love holding the bag. Yeah. Yeah.

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I mean, that's a nice topic. What is something that you've held on to for way

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too long when it comes to disagreements and misunderstandings?

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What's something that you've held on to way too long?

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Because we've all held on to something. We've all held on to something way longer

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than we should have held on to it for.

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Way longer than we should have held on to it for. Oh, yeah, that's for sure.

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I ain't going to lie. I'm guilty of it. Because it's something that I haven't loved to see in years.

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Really, I can see them because of things that happened and how it happened.

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It's like I just can't get past him because you know you can't call up and you shoulda coulda woulda,

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and I always think about how my life probably been different if,

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he had never been involved in my life it was kind of pressed on me you know it's like,

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we tried to move in with you and all that stuff you know like i don't get a

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good feel and then you know because it's a relative you know your other relatives

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now be like okay give it a try give it a try and then just get all screwed up,

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just go sideways don't let don't let the court move in with you and i'm just

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paraphrasing and username. I'm not going to put a boy moving with you.

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That's your cousin. Yeah, Hory dirtier than my family.

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Hory's feet stink. He like to put his feet up on your couch. Man.

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Introduce you to people surrounding this, you know, not your vibe. You get caught up.

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I get way over here. I don't even know these people. Hmm.

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Yeah. We all been there. And then, like I say, you know, you get that.

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Just tell you, like, no, don't do it. Don't do it.

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Oh, yeah. We all been down that road.

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We still did it anyway. What road is that? Right. What road you talking about?

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The topic for tonight is what is something that you've held on to way too long

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when it comes to... The conversation started out talking about death.

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Juan said he had some death in the family. Me and John had a conversation earlier

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today about people, after they die, somebody's mad, somebody's upset,

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and it's not the reason that you think they're mad or upset.

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They're upset because they didn't get to tell that person they was mad at them.

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So my question is, what is something that you held on to way too long that you

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really need to let go of? Hmm.

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Hmm. That's a good question.

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That's going to make me think because I've let go of a lot of stuff,

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There's something you're still holding on to. I don't know.

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I've tried to make peace with all the things going on in my background.

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I got a little bit more years on you guys. So I've had more time to think about

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those things and to realize, you know, life is short.

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I got to do like the Bible saying, you know, if I got an ought against my brother,

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my sister, I got to go to them.

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I can't take my gift to the altar. I got to set that down, go get it right with

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my brother and my sister before I go back to the altar and give God something.

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So all of the things from my past that I've had to deal with,

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I pretty much dealt with them.

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Actually, I was in purgatory today. I had to go to purgatory.

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See? See, you see what he said? You see what he said?

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I go back to the conversation we had this moment. what i tell you

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if you are truly a true christian you

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believe in what god tells you then you should

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have been and let that go you shouldn't be still holding on to this same

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thing five years later no sir that's like that's like being mad with your spouse

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and the scriptures say you shouldn't let your anger let the sun go down on your

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anger i know husbands and wives they natted themselves for two three weeks even

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a month over something silly and one got his east head to the west, one got her,

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head to the east, they back to back in the bed and no, no, no.

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You're supposed to get that straight before the sun go down.

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You're not supposed to just let that permeate between your relationship.

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Yes. That's true. But a lot of people do. A lot of people will lay down like that.

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Now, I'm surprised none of y'all bit on that cookie I threw out there.

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I walked away because I had food in the oven. I don't know what you said.

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Oh, man. I said I went to purgatory today. Nobody said, what kind of purgatory? What you talking about?

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I wasn't going to touch that. I wasn't going to go in depth about it. That's right.

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I wasn't going to touch that. I was going to let you tell that story yourself.

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Right. Oh, no. You know, I threw it out there because I wanted somebody to nibble a bite.

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So anyway, I'm going to let you tell that story yourself.

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I don't I don't know. It's worse. I don't know which is worse.

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Having a sitting line at the DMV, having a sitting line at the Social Security

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Administration or having a sitting in the office at the free clinic.

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Because I was down in Social Security. That's awful. Yeah, yeah.

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Hey, I was getting Social Security today because, you know, it's Medicare season for me.

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Okay. Old people problems. Old people problems. No, for real,

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man. I think I'm too young for this conversation.

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No, you're never too young because you can always glean some good pieces of

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information so when it's your turn, you'll know what to do.

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Yeah, for sure. I need me to know the Social Security card right now, man.

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It's good with all these changes. It changes a lot.

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I'm like, that is my best play right now. I showed me another social security card. It's like...

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I got news for you. It's going to take you a minute. Go on in that office.

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We're going to be there for a while. I hope you take your lunch.

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Ain't it right there up on the Jefferson Street Bridge? No, that's gone. Bingo.

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Social Security is over at, it's off of Rosa Parks.

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Metro Center. It's down past the Spring Hill Suite.

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You pass the Spring Hill Suite, you pass the next hotel and then Social Security is in the cut.

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Is it to the right or to the left? To the right.

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Okay. It's the express office over there somewhere.

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I appreciate that, man. I sure got to do that. Everybody all right tonight?

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Yes, sir. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you how to fight, bro.

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Any day of Boilbrown is a great day for me.

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So it is, man. He's a man.

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I know, that's right. He's a man. I'm enjoying the weather right now.

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It beats the alternative any day of the week I don't care how bad the day was

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it's still beats the alternative facts,

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yeah because we were talking how we started all this and we talked about death

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earlier and then they were going to say you want the purgatory or anything nobody

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touched that because I'm not even asking what that was.

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What he's going to ask what that was so when you're tired so do say the subject of the night is how,

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what is what is something in your life that you've held on to for too long,

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Man, y'all know how we was talking about giving people the benefit of the doctor for the week.

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Yeah, come on here. Here we go. That's right. Come on.

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Hey, man, I ain't going to say I done gave up on folks or nothing,

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but in today's time, I definitely like minding my own business, man. You feel me?

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I try to pray for people's well-being, intervene when I can,

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you know, when the opportunity presents itself. But other than that,

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I don't need nobody else's business taking up my brain space for real.

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I'm trying to stay focused on what I got going on so that I can grow in these

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areas that I'm putting purpose into. You feel me?

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And you need other people's business to mess up your own business after a while

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if you're not careful. Yes, sir.

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Yeah. And that's just from me.

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Trying to be a good person and always having the best intentions when you're

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trying to connect and build a relationship, but then you end up having to back

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up because you gave way too much of yourself.

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Whereas it ain't reciprocal.

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Yes, totally, totally understand that. I can totally agree with that.

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Yeah, it's just my own business now. I should have done that a long time ago.

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I probably would have never went to the pen of ice. Yeah.

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Right. But it was a lesson learned. And like you like you're doing right now, you're laughing at it.

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You're laughing at the fact of where you were and where you've been.

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And that is an amazing thing.

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But the question still stands. What is something in your life that you know

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you've been holding on too long that you need to let go of?

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That's it. I don't let go of everything else, honestly.

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You know, I had my last weight with my situation with my brother who just got

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out in blood, but he's like my big brother.

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He just got out after doing 20, and I thought it would be this bright future,

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but we ended up falling out for the time being, and it's totally cool with me.

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So that's why I say it's a mind of my own business versus trying to,

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you know, orchestrate something for somebody else without permission.

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I like that without permission part. Thank you.

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Yeah, you got to have authorization. At least you understand the mission now,

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though. At least you understand the mission, and you know that everybody can't be helped.

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Yeah, the goal is to move forward.

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So sometimes all you can do is pray for somebody, man. We got to never be more

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powerful than the most high.

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Exactly. The best thing that you can do is pray for somebody before you be trying

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to intervene like you him.

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But the thing is, everybody's not ready to move forward. Exactly.

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That's why I mind my own business and take my own steps.

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I'm chillin man I don't even like to hear no mess no drama I'm trying to get

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grown and older like y'all man you feel me,

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I'm trying to get a little private jet and some stuff like that man I ain't

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trying to be out here getting caught up in somebody else's stuff that ain't

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got nothing to do with me then I be done wasted time yeah,

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but Jamari even with your pal that was in the side pocket with you,

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you got to remember that people come in and out of our lives throughout the

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balance of our journey, and it's either for a reason, for a season, for a lifetime.

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And although you and that brother might have been tight in the side pocket,

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that was for that season.

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Now that you see that he's out and that click is not there, you two leaned on

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each other during that season. Yeah.

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Hey, hey, hey, but Dave. What up there, Big Mars?

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I got a question. I'm just tuning in. I love the question.

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I would say vices that we know are no good for us, number one,

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that we still gravitate to because they're self-medicated.

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And they make us feel good, you know, at times where we get a moment of peace.

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But other than that, you know, the thing that I've been wrestling with is those

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people that are in your life for a reason, for a season, and a lifetime, such as your children.

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You know, your children come in your life in a season.

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And they're there for a reason. A lot of us had kids and it changed our life

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and helped us get on the right path because it frightened us so much that we

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had another human being that we was responsible.

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Definitely. It's a motive. Hold on more. I want to throw one question into all of that.

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So when we said all of that, does that also apply to your marriage, too?

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That's where I was going it's supposed to,

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Voice is an option, but you're supposed to be locking in for a lifetime,

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right? You're supposed to.

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And part of what I've been dealing with on my journey is the length of long

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suffering God dealt with me.

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When I was, I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to do that.

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I just wanted to be free to do me.

00:20:09.381 --> 00:20:14.201
And then I came into another realization that doing me was destructive.

00:20:15.981 --> 00:20:19.481
And that could do something to my well-being. Right?

00:20:19.781 --> 00:20:25.121
So I got to add something to my life and I got to take some stuff out of my life.

00:20:25.361 --> 00:20:30.841
But now when you tell it to a person who you really love and then you come to

00:20:30.841 --> 00:20:33.961
a new revelation and they still stuck, man!

00:20:35.161 --> 00:20:36.701
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:38.241 --> 00:20:42.221
You got to that's where your grace and your humility comes from.

00:20:42.221 --> 00:20:52.141
Man but how much grace is enough you know what I mean I know every day is sufficient for the day but,

00:20:52.901 --> 00:20:56.861
if I can't get no sleep cause I'm worried about tomorrow and if there's gonna

00:20:56.861 --> 00:20:59.261
be enough grace for tomorrow cause I already know this,

00:21:00.081 --> 00:21:05.401
knucklehead gonna have to fool some kind of way and then I'm not supposed to

00:21:05.401 --> 00:21:09.141
think like that we're supposed to always think on these things so I think on

00:21:09.141 --> 00:21:12.861
these things and then the devil show up with the weakest link, man, all the time.

00:21:13.841 --> 00:21:17.941
And then I wonder, am I the weakest link? Because he keep attacking me.

00:21:19.881 --> 00:21:23.561
Man, nobody get a burden that they can't bear, man. You know?

00:21:25.241 --> 00:21:32.061
As long as you whoever you talk to when you're alone, it'll help you see yourself

00:21:32.061 --> 00:21:34.701
through it versus going to my face.

00:21:35.081 --> 00:21:40.341
I tell you what, I always try to seek a better path.

00:21:40.921 --> 00:21:45.521
I like the scripture that says there's a sort of man who looks in the mirror

00:21:45.521 --> 00:21:47.641
and then walks away and forgets who he is.

00:21:48.950 --> 00:21:52.250
That's a very powerful scripture to me.

00:21:52.570 --> 00:21:56.910
And I try to stay grounded on that. I try to remember who I am.

00:21:57.070 --> 00:21:59.290
I know I got some faults and shortcomings.

00:21:59.450 --> 00:22:01.770
And I know I've got some maturity.

00:22:02.050 --> 00:22:04.930
Even at 60, I've got more maturity to do.

00:22:05.230 --> 00:22:07.910
I'm not done living or growing or learning.

00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:14.530
You know, but at the end of the day, the path of, everybody's path is different, correct?

00:22:15.090 --> 00:22:18.070
But we walk this journey with certain people.

00:22:18.070 --> 00:22:27.030
And like Dave man Dave when Dave came into my life y'all just don't know Dave was a lifesaver,

00:22:27.770 --> 00:22:33.090
Dave was a lifesaver Dave might not know you know you know Dave,

00:22:34.030 --> 00:22:40.810
but you know I was in the Coast Guard for 30 years so you know we used to that,

00:22:41.530 --> 00:22:48.950
right right right right so you know it was based on y'all based on your information

00:22:48.950 --> 00:22:51.110
your knowledge of being in the military,

00:22:51.850 --> 00:22:54.430
based on all these different things man.

00:22:55.450 --> 00:23:00.830
You just your life experience and I'm not sure if you're a little bit older

00:23:00.830 --> 00:23:04.730
than me or whatever but we brothers we right there we peers and,

00:23:05.410 --> 00:23:09.230
your experience has been different than my experience but at the same time we

00:23:09.230 --> 00:23:14.590
have had some parallel experiences that we can relate to exactly and then just

00:23:14.590 --> 00:23:16.810
because in your character nature, Dave,

00:23:17.330 --> 00:23:20.090
because you're a man that listens.

00:23:20.750 --> 00:23:25.310
And you listen. You know what I'm saying?

00:23:25.970 --> 00:23:30.750
And you give feedback that's positive. I have never heard you say a negative

00:23:30.750 --> 00:23:36.330
word to me about my situation or whatever. I've been transparent with you.

00:23:36.390 --> 00:23:37.710
You've been transparent with me.

00:23:37.870 --> 00:23:40.970
But you always are encouraging, man.

00:23:41.230 --> 00:23:44.970
And that's rare to find nowadays, man. Thank you.

00:23:47.381 --> 00:23:50.521
I'm saying y'all didn't get my joke about being in the Coast Guard.

00:23:50.661 --> 00:23:52.881
You know, Coast Guard throws a little lightsaber ring out there.

00:23:54.361 --> 00:23:58.021
We're not falling for your jokes, Davey.

00:23:59.401 --> 00:24:04.881
Exactly what it was. Oh, my God. You don't want to fall for your bad jokes today.

00:24:05.561 --> 00:24:08.841
We're not going for your bad jokes today. I told y'all, look,

00:24:08.841 --> 00:24:12.661
I'm off my game. I was in purgatory today, so I'm trying to get back. I'm trying to get back.

00:24:14.661 --> 00:24:15.061
Purgatory?

00:24:17.281 --> 00:24:23.601
I had to go down to the social security office today and sit in there and watch the paint dry.

00:24:26.061 --> 00:24:31.341
Now you ask which one is worse. The free cleaners, social security office,

00:24:31.561 --> 00:24:34.001
or the DMV. I think it's the DMV.

00:24:34.661 --> 00:24:39.481
I don't know, man. The DMV is like Jerry Springer, man.

00:24:41.601 --> 00:24:47.961
Yeah, it can be. It can be. I have seen something. Yeah, I agree with that.

00:24:48.541 --> 00:24:51.261
I have seen something. Man, did that really happen?

00:24:52.021 --> 00:24:56.181
You'll be there for hours and don't even get seen. Exactly.

00:24:58.001 --> 00:25:01.061
Now you walk in the door at 4 o'clock, that's what I'm talking about.

00:25:01.201 --> 00:25:02.801
We close at 5. We ain't seeing them people.

00:25:02.961 --> 00:25:08.901
What you mean? You close at 5. You got a whole line for them. I got my number.

00:25:11.421 --> 00:25:15.961
You see all them people sitting in there? we got to get to them before 5 o'clock

00:25:15.961 --> 00:25:19.001
so we ain't taking nobody else got my ticket,

00:25:21.141 --> 00:25:26.281
got that ticket with that number on I know one thing if Ice wanted to pick up

00:25:26.281 --> 00:25:28.461
some folks they need to sit outside social security.

00:25:31.321 --> 00:25:37.321
Man that place was packed with some Hispanic brothers and sisters and some out

00:25:37.321 --> 00:25:44.701
of towners Mego Neal I'm scared I can sit outside DMV too Yeah.

00:25:45.854 --> 00:25:50.914
They everywhere they know they here yeah it's like they just like you can't even get lit up,

00:25:51.554 --> 00:25:58.894
what you saying he cut off two real way oh they about to crash in a minute they

00:25:58.894 --> 00:26:03.894
about to crash in a minute hey man they lit out here man i got much love and respect for them,

00:26:05.114 --> 00:26:08.634
they whole tribal people work

00:26:08.634 --> 00:26:19.514
work ethic is solid oh yeah They had a whole family of being Kroger's.

00:26:21.254 --> 00:26:25.414
Walmart. You talking about the Migos? Yes.

00:26:26.434 --> 00:26:30.034
Well, you know. They got their baby mama on the construction site.

00:26:30.714 --> 00:26:34.014
Hey, man, but look here. But see, they hungry.

00:26:34.794 --> 00:26:41.254
See, that's what's happening. We fat and obese and lazy anymore.

00:26:41.254 --> 00:26:49.014
If you really think about it we did have a legitimate argument in the 60s,

00:26:49.014 --> 00:26:54.974
50s, 30s all that y'all still treating us like whatever,

00:26:55.734 --> 00:27:03.474
now what's happened is we got some sort of freedom but we still don't see that

00:27:03.474 --> 00:27:07.214
we're not free because everybody ain't got no passport and everybody ain't got

00:27:07.214 --> 00:27:12.734
no money to go nowhere so you can't be that free when you're stuck.

00:27:13.994 --> 00:27:20.594
But we got this, what do you call it, this system entitlement now that we don't

00:27:20.594 --> 00:27:22.134
have to produce anymore.

00:27:22.474 --> 00:27:31.214
And I'm not saying that that's not a relative argument based on the production, but where we are now.

00:27:34.074 --> 00:27:36.734
Who can carry another? Right.

00:27:37.311 --> 00:27:41.431
So I applaud them because you know what?

00:27:41.891 --> 00:27:46.571
Thanks. Look, they be fly. They be showing off their little bodies and everything

00:27:46.571 --> 00:27:48.591
else too. But you know what?

00:27:49.331 --> 00:27:53.851
You'll see them with some spandex saying, Lord Jesus, I'm in the grocery store.

00:27:53.951 --> 00:27:55.051
I'm trying to just get some food.

00:27:55.391 --> 00:27:59.511
And the next day you'll see them with mud all over. Right?

00:28:01.451 --> 00:28:10.711
With some boots on. Still looking cute. But we look at ours today, and they so, watch this.

00:28:11.051 --> 00:28:15.111
They like Vashti almost, man. They all queens.

00:28:16.331 --> 00:28:18.571
They kings, they...

00:28:21.311 --> 00:28:21.831
Okay.

00:28:23.871 --> 00:28:26.311
You gonna make some people mad. We on the air.

00:28:30.551 --> 00:28:34.771
But y'all remember what Vashti did? You know what the kings did to Vashti?

00:28:34.791 --> 00:28:38.291
He was like, oh, you too good to come.

00:28:38.371 --> 00:28:41.171
They been partying, I understand, for a whole long time.

00:28:41.971 --> 00:28:46.491
But, Queen, hey, hey, go get that Queen and take her out on the couch she laying

00:28:46.491 --> 00:28:49.171
on and bring me another one. Uh-huh.

00:28:51.431 --> 00:28:56.791
Uh-huh. I like the way you handled that. That was good. You know what I'm saying?

00:28:57.071 --> 00:29:00.351
Because that's the King's position, Queen.

00:29:01.371 --> 00:29:06.071
You can't be no Queen without a King. What? unless your king died and half of

00:29:06.071 --> 00:29:07.911
them trying to kill us. So now what?

00:29:09.161 --> 00:29:14.481
Got the two's wives alright you gonna make some more than that,

00:29:15.161 --> 00:29:19.801
I'm gonna mute myself right now before I get in any more trouble somebody might

00:29:19.801 --> 00:29:30.281
be well if we got any women you gonna make some more than that I know they it's

00:29:30.281 --> 00:29:31.881
been plenty nice where they going and jumping.

00:29:34.341 --> 00:29:40.881
Like uh uh girl oh yeah I know it's been plenty and I said, we don't want to jump here for real.

00:29:42.021 --> 00:29:48.161
You know what? 20 years ago, almost 30 years ago, my first wife,

00:29:48.581 --> 00:29:55.921
I remember I got off work early and she worked days, I worked nights.

00:29:56.121 --> 00:29:59.261
I got off early, but then didn't have to work that night.

00:29:59.761 --> 00:30:02.241
I knew she was working and she had the kids.

00:30:02.781 --> 00:30:08.961
I got the kids to the grandmama, ran her a bath, fought her some flowers,

00:30:09.841 --> 00:30:14.461
cook like a three or four course meal with a dessert because I can cook,

00:30:14.761 --> 00:30:16.421
you know, dude. You know what I'm saying?

00:30:16.941 --> 00:30:23.061
And did that. Did that. As she came home, her bath was run with bubbles and

00:30:23.061 --> 00:30:24.781
stuff. Water was just right.

00:30:25.401 --> 00:30:28.361
Everything was beautiful. You know what happened the next day?

00:30:28.941 --> 00:30:35.341
One of her girlfriends said, uh-uh, see, he's guilty of some chance. He's there. What?

00:30:38.861 --> 00:30:42.821
So when she came home from work, she came home with an attitude.

00:30:43.381 --> 00:30:47.521
And I was standing there like, hey, we had a great night, let's do it again.

00:30:48.261 --> 00:30:50.101
Ah, nigga, tell me what you been doing.

00:30:51.553 --> 00:30:59.093
Been there, been there, been in them shoes. You know, that still exists. Oh, yeah.

00:31:00.253 --> 00:31:07.573
Oh, yeah. That still exists. Willie Lynch. Willie Lynch. Yeah, Willie Lynch, man.

00:31:08.833 --> 00:31:15.673
That's a serious note right there, bro. It's still real. The systematic breakdown.

00:31:18.273 --> 00:31:24.093
We're driving away from the question. Or are we on the same path as the question?

00:31:24.333 --> 00:31:28.573
What is something that you've held on for years that you know you need to let go of?

00:31:30.473 --> 00:31:33.933
That's what I tell. People.

00:31:37.073 --> 00:31:41.893
That's a good one. That's a good one. Because we're all holding on to somebody

00:31:41.893 --> 00:31:43.953
that we should have let go of a long time ago.

00:31:44.213 --> 00:31:48.013
We're all holding on. We're all holding hope that that person is going to get

00:31:48.013 --> 00:31:49.193
better. They're going to do better.

00:31:49.733 --> 00:31:52.813
Oh, I love that. I love the word hope.

00:31:53.613 --> 00:31:55.233
We're holding on to a hope.

00:31:56.453 --> 00:32:00.053
And they ain't even in the picture. Right.

00:32:00.893 --> 00:32:05.093
They ain't even playing the same game. No, they ain't playing the same game.

00:32:05.253 --> 00:32:08.653
They outside doing double ducks. You in here holding on to hope.

00:32:09.613 --> 00:32:12.773
Well, let me say this, too, on the topic here.

00:32:13.253 --> 00:32:17.713
You know, I expressed that I had this situation with a cousin.

00:32:18.313 --> 00:32:22.393
And I attended some funerals, you know, this past month.

00:32:22.733 --> 00:32:27.753
And, you know, while driving or whatever, you know, going to the funeral,

00:32:28.013 --> 00:32:36.453
whatever, you know, I began thinking to myself, how would I respond or react to this, you know,

00:32:37.333 --> 00:32:40.113
to my cousin if I happened to run across, you know, or whatever.

00:32:40.293 --> 00:32:43.393
Or if he tried to, you know, strike up conversation, how would I approach that?

00:32:44.846 --> 00:32:47.146
Of course, I thought, you know, different scenarios in my head.

00:32:47.266 --> 00:32:53.586
It's like, would I just snap or would I, you know, be like a genuine embrace,

00:32:53.806 --> 00:32:56.646
you know, of forgiveness or whatever the case may be, you know.

00:32:56.866 --> 00:32:58.586
So I'm just processing all that.

00:32:58.906 --> 00:33:02.206
I just want to throw that out there that sometimes, you know,

00:33:02.826 --> 00:33:04.366
go through phases when you process

00:33:04.366 --> 00:33:07.606
things, how you might approach those situations when faced with it.

00:33:08.226 --> 00:33:12.006
But sometimes it can be tough, you know. You might stand out or something,

00:33:12.066 --> 00:33:15.826
you know. You never know. Oh, no composure.

00:33:16.746 --> 00:33:20.666
Well, brothers, I just came across something that I need your help.

00:33:21.366 --> 00:33:26.786
So I need y'all to tell me where I'm at in this situation.

00:33:27.826 --> 00:33:32.906
So my family is not particularly close. My mother and her sisters,

00:33:33.146 --> 00:33:34.406
they all had different fathers.

00:33:35.426 --> 00:33:40.886
And they grew up in the 30s and 40s and 50s.

00:33:41.226 --> 00:33:48.526
And they're all gone now. they all passed away but the cousins I'm one of the

00:33:48.526 --> 00:33:55.966
older cousins now I'm at the top of the pyramid but my counterpart from one of my aunties,

00:33:56.886 --> 00:34:03.046
he's older than me but we weren't particularly close so when my mother passed away back in 14.

00:34:04.525 --> 00:34:08.045
They heard about it. They knew about it.

00:34:08.165 --> 00:34:14.285
They didn't tell me they were coming, but they showed up to the service as we were walking out.

00:34:14.965 --> 00:34:19.605
And so they follow us back to the house. And the first thing out of my cousin's

00:34:19.605 --> 00:34:23.985
mouth is, yo, cuz, what you doing with your mama's car?

00:34:24.245 --> 00:34:27.865
So at that point, like I said, we weren't particularly close.

00:34:28.325 --> 00:34:31.025
I was feeling a certain way. you know

00:34:31.025 --> 00:34:33.685
being in the military taught me a certain level of

00:34:33.685 --> 00:34:36.465
responsibility and and you know

00:34:36.465 --> 00:34:41.825
they all had their whatever their preconceived thoughts about me were but I've

00:34:41.825 --> 00:34:45.645
always been independent I've always taken care of my family I've always had

00:34:45.645 --> 00:34:51.545
whatever I needed and so he shows up with this hand you know got his hand out

00:34:51.545 --> 00:34:56.365
looking to get stuff and that kind of pushed me the wrong way And I told him, I said, look here.

00:34:58.205 --> 00:35:00.185
Partner, you can take that line and roll with it.

00:35:00.425 --> 00:35:05.545
You know, wherever you've been in Florida doing you, you go on back down there and you do you.

00:35:05.825 --> 00:35:07.985
I don't need to hear from you ever again.

00:35:08.885 --> 00:35:14.265
And I was OK with that. And I ain't heard from him. I don't call him. He don't call me.

00:35:14.705 --> 00:35:21.245
But am I holding on to something or have I let that go? No, you let it go.

00:35:22.545 --> 00:35:25.725
No you did something that most people can't

00:35:25.725 --> 00:35:28.865
do and that's come from as is

00:35:28.865 --> 00:35:33.005
confront the problem heads up right most

00:35:33.005 --> 00:35:37.825
people can't confront the problem heads they'll beat around the bush they'll

00:35:37.825 --> 00:35:43.625
yeah cuz we good yeah blah blah blah excuse my french but don't shoot the shit

00:35:43.625 --> 00:35:49.665
give it to them straight go straight look listen hey man look here you can't

00:35:49.665 --> 00:35:51.125
i ain't seen you in years you

00:35:51.405 --> 00:35:56.765
pop up at my mama's fair you come afterwards and then you ask about a guy please

00:35:56.765 --> 00:36:02.325
get on up out of here yeah you try you don't even had a decent decent show up

00:36:02.325 --> 00:36:08.525
all the time that's right how you here here how you get here that's right how'd you get here,

00:36:09.702 --> 00:36:10.462
You know.

00:36:13.222 --> 00:36:22.022
Look, I'm going to tell you something. I walked to a cousin of mine's funeral in a blizzard six miles.

00:36:24.102 --> 00:36:28.722
I'm telling the truth. Six miles in a blizzard. You sure it wasn't,

00:36:28.942 --> 00:36:30.542
Mars? You sure it wasn't eight miles?

00:36:31.422 --> 00:36:38.382
Detroit? No, man. I walked six miles in a blizzard, bro, to get to this cousin's

00:36:38.382 --> 00:36:41.502
funeral for real. because she was so attractive.

00:36:42.582 --> 00:36:47.162
You know what I'm saying? And at the end of the day, I got there, and guess who came late?

00:36:48.042 --> 00:36:55.442
My daddy, who was supposed to pick me up, and he wasn't trapped. My goodness.

00:36:56.782 --> 00:37:00.142
And he come in talking about it's cold out there. I'm like, man,

00:37:00.242 --> 00:37:03.042
my feet, I'm in a soup, man.

00:37:04.302 --> 00:37:07.242
I'm an old soldier, and I was so mad. I said, you know what?

00:37:07.282 --> 00:37:10.802
I'm going to make it to this thing. this nigga that came late to pick me up

00:37:10.802 --> 00:37:15.802
I'm gonna make it to the funeral and I walked cause he was supposed to be there

00:37:15.802 --> 00:37:21.862
when I knew when he didn't show up when he saved I figured he wasn't gonna show up man,

00:37:23.125 --> 00:37:29.325
I was holding on to Hope, too. But I was like, you know, I mean, God bless his soul.

00:37:29.425 --> 00:37:35.905
I'm just saying, I just, I knew when he said, I'm going to be there at 7 o'clock. And then, you know.

00:37:38.805 --> 00:37:42.045
What did he say, boys? Yeah, I'm going to be there at 7 o'clock.

00:37:42.685 --> 00:37:46.185
You know, we're going to go get some breakfast and chat, but then,

00:37:46.225 --> 00:37:47.485
yeah, we're going to go to the funeral.

00:37:49.065 --> 00:37:53.425
At 8.30, I'm like, man, the funeral starts at noon.

00:37:53.805 --> 00:37:57.465
At 8.30, I start walking, man. Boy, it's got to be good.

00:38:01.605 --> 00:38:08.265
He said, I'm going to get some breakfast. Top next, man.

00:38:08.965 --> 00:38:16.205
Like, okay. I'm up drunk. I'm like a little kid, man. It hurt when you believe in it, don't it?

00:38:20.005 --> 00:38:24.225
You believe it, baby, man. I believe it, baby, that day, man.

00:38:24.345 --> 00:38:27.905
I said, my daddy gonna come pick me up. We gonna let you up. Sure.

00:38:29.585 --> 00:38:32.045
Or we gonna eat. I'm too late at night.

00:38:34.185 --> 00:38:37.005
Yeah. Yeah, that part, man.

00:38:39.225 --> 00:38:42.305
You know, but I ain't on to him till he died, man.

00:38:43.506 --> 00:38:50.146
Oh, man. I did. You remind me of my pops, man. It's funny, man.

00:38:51.166 --> 00:38:57.426
They was just cold. They was all in cold pieces, man. They didn't care. They was raw.

00:38:58.426 --> 00:39:02.386
You know, a couple weeks ago, Papa, what's wrong with it?

00:39:03.386 --> 00:39:11.046
Man, look. Some of the things my dad told me were really phenomenal wisdom.

00:39:11.646 --> 00:39:16.566
But it was not legendary stuff. He just dropped a couple of dimes on me,

00:39:16.606 --> 00:39:21.986
but at the end of the day, he didn't learn none of that as far as I knew.

00:39:23.446 --> 00:39:28.666
Because I didn't see it. I didn't see it, but he dropped his dimes on me,

00:39:28.746 --> 00:39:34.766
and then I tried to apply it, but it was just... I don't know, man. I don't know.

00:39:35.266 --> 00:39:39.846
We did have a relationship at the year, but it was so much time,

00:39:39.846 --> 00:39:43.666
man, that we could have had where he was just being the Rolling Stone.

00:39:43.866 --> 00:39:47.226
He was being Slick Rick. You know? You know?

00:39:50.166 --> 00:39:54.346
But, like you said, the question was, what are we holding on to?

00:39:55.226 --> 00:39:59.586
I think we're supposed to hold on to a certain hope. I think we're supposed

00:39:59.586 --> 00:40:00.866
to hold on to a certain same.

00:40:01.606 --> 00:40:07.646
But, what you said, Dave, a while back, you said there's a difference between

00:40:07.646 --> 00:40:09.526
a good idea and a God idea.

00:40:09.526 --> 00:40:15.026
And I think some of our good ideas we need to let go of because they ain't doing

00:40:15.026 --> 00:40:20.106
nothing for us you said something already Mark,

00:40:22.226 --> 00:40:27.026
you said something already that we hold on to that everybody holds on to a lot

00:40:27.026 --> 00:40:31.426
of and that's hope we hope that the world gonna change and it ain't changed yet.

00:40:34.531 --> 00:40:37.451
All night long man but the real

00:40:37.451 --> 00:40:40.551
thing what what he said at the beginning

00:40:40.551 --> 00:40:44.151
that we thought was funny was the best thing hold on

00:40:44.151 --> 00:40:47.291
to people way too long and before

00:40:47.291 --> 00:40:50.231
he came in i don't know if he was here when we talked about people coming

00:40:50.231 --> 00:40:53.291
to you like yeah he was here when we said seasons people coming

00:40:53.291 --> 00:40:56.191
to our lives for seasons and sometimes we try

00:40:56.191 --> 00:40:58.951
to hold on to people just like ma

00:40:58.951 --> 00:41:01.791
was talking about his friend that they was on the inside we try

00:41:01.791 --> 00:41:04.471
to hold on to people because we can see the

00:41:04.471 --> 00:41:07.191
potential in them but if they can't see

00:41:07.191 --> 00:41:13.391
the potential in themselves at what at some point you have to let them go gotta

00:41:13.391 --> 00:41:19.791
let them go you gotta because you're and i don't have i asked the question area

00:41:19.791 --> 00:41:25.091
does that also apply to your marriage hey dave,

00:41:28.311 --> 00:41:33.131
as a Coast Guard do you get trained drown yourself trying to save somebody.

00:41:38.011 --> 00:41:42.791
I'm sorry man you was breaking up say that again I said as a Coast Guard do

00:41:42.791 --> 00:41:45.731
they train y'all to risk your life trying to save someone,

00:41:46.591 --> 00:41:52.711
like did that team really die trying to save somebody only in a swimming situation we're uh,

00:41:53.431 --> 00:41:56.531
yeah i mean if you're a rescue swimmer yeah you if rescue

00:41:56.531 --> 00:41:59.291
swimmers train specifically on that thing they

00:41:59.291 --> 00:42:04.351
jump out of helicopters into the ocean to try and rescue people but you know

00:42:04.351 --> 00:42:08.651
even even like general boot camps when you when you learn in your swim test

00:42:08.651 --> 00:42:13.011
i don't know if they still teach it today but when i went in the main thing

00:42:13.011 --> 00:42:18.471
is if somebody's having a hard time swimming you can't let them grab you.

00:42:18.571 --> 00:42:24.491
You got to come up behind them and secure them because, you know, they're freaking out.

00:42:24.591 --> 00:42:27.431
They'll drown you trying to stay up on top of you.

00:42:28.251 --> 00:42:30.291
Yeah, we definitely trained in that.

00:42:31.209 --> 00:42:39.329
Now, Dave, I went to J-O-C-C and Sports Church, Jungle Octopus training course, right?

00:42:39.969 --> 00:42:44.509
And in that, our waterborne training was knock them out, man.

00:42:45.709 --> 00:42:49.129
If they thought I had to knock them out, you had to knock them out.

00:42:49.409 --> 00:42:53.749
And we had the right to knock out a secret officer or anybody because they will

00:42:53.749 --> 00:42:57.769
try to stand on you like you're the ground.

00:42:58.669 --> 00:43:02.109
And worry when they start pending you. so

00:43:02.109 --> 00:43:04.869
now how do we knock the people out that's trying to

00:43:04.869 --> 00:43:07.949
stand on us okay i'll

00:43:07.949 --> 00:43:17.329
get it man you know you need to quit but hey thanks bubba j i'm gonna answer

00:43:17.329 --> 00:43:22.329
that question you just threw out there because i'm gonna tell you my first marriage

00:43:22.329 --> 00:43:26.809
i got i was married in 19 and although i can see the vision.

00:43:27.209 --> 00:43:31.669
I could see the vision of where I wanted my family to go.

00:43:32.569 --> 00:43:41.289
10 years from 19 to 29 and from 17 to 27 we turned into the adults we were going to become.

00:43:41.629 --> 00:43:43.569
We were kids when we got married.

00:43:43.929 --> 00:43:48.109
We turned into adults and we turned into two adults who could not see eye to eye.

00:43:48.509 --> 00:43:53.249
And then she was an unfaithful adult so I had to let her walk.

00:43:53.889 --> 00:43:57.589
Since you want to be in the street with other people you stay on out there in

00:43:57.589 --> 00:43:58.409
the street with other people.

00:43:58.609 --> 00:44:03.789
My second marriage lasted 15 years. It was beautiful. We both love the Lord.

00:44:04.369 --> 00:44:10.029
But what I thought was going to be lifetime, I found out it was a scene.

00:44:10.569 --> 00:44:20.349
And she was unable to make any kind of adjustment for me as I was about to retire from the military.

00:44:21.149 --> 00:44:26.509
She was unable to make the adjustments that I was trying to make and,

00:44:27.129 --> 00:44:33.949
because of her lack of vision she just packed up and just left she left the state so,

00:44:34.489 --> 00:44:37.929
I'm not I'm not gonna fight you to make you stay with me if you don't want to

00:44:37.929 --> 00:44:43.649
be with me then you know let the let the door hit you where the good lord split you yeah okay,

00:44:44.569 --> 00:44:49.449
another state and I got people in the mail they say what?

00:44:49.969 --> 00:44:52.909
Let me ask you this, what if she had retroactive emotional?

00:44:54.969 --> 00:44:58.989
I mean we I didn't get married right away after her,

00:44:59.049 --> 00:45:03.849
I mean years went by we had conversations I talked to her about let's get back

00:45:03.849 --> 00:45:12.869
together but she she held fast to what she thought she had to do so I mean if

00:45:12.869 --> 00:45:16.709
I can't make you, I can't fight you,

00:45:16.949 --> 00:45:23.289
I can't put my hands on you to pull you in my direction, so I gotta let you do you.

00:45:24.386 --> 00:45:32.186
That's the hard part, Dave. I mean, like, talk about the... I mean, that hurt, didn't it?

00:45:32.466 --> 00:45:34.986
Because you wanted to make it worse.

00:45:35.386 --> 00:45:39.026
And you was trying, you was dedicated, committed to it.

00:45:40.026 --> 00:45:43.406
Yes. Of course. So what did it take from you?

00:45:46.406 --> 00:45:53.066
The issues of my heart have been my lifetime... That has been my lifetime battle.

00:45:53.066 --> 00:45:56.686
I've never been drunk. I've never been high.

00:45:56.986 --> 00:46:03.046
I mean, I had no problem with any of the other things that a lot of people get hung up with.

00:46:03.306 --> 00:46:07.846
My issues in my journey have always been affairs of the heart,

00:46:08.486 --> 00:46:13.746
trying to find somebody that would accept me for me and believe in me the same way I believe in them.

00:46:14.226 --> 00:46:21.466
It took me almost until I was 50 years old to find somebody that fit that bill.

00:46:21.466 --> 00:46:24.606
Yeah yeah yeah just love

00:46:24.606 --> 00:46:27.986
me like like uh what was that song stevie

00:46:27.986 --> 00:46:35.266
wonder said started saying to love and be loved in return to love and be loved

00:46:35.266 --> 00:46:39.906
in return i don't know if y'all jimmy have ever heard that song but but but

00:46:39.906 --> 00:46:46.246
check it out this is song of the heart and and i'm i feel you jay Because, you know,

00:46:46.526 --> 00:46:48.806
I mean, I want my fair marriage, too.

00:46:49.046 --> 00:46:52.466
And it don't seem like it's going to be successful.

00:46:53.166 --> 00:46:57.206
And I'm feeling that because I'm trying.

00:46:57.986 --> 00:47:05.766
I don't understand. But like you said, sometimes you just ain't the same thing.

00:47:06.666 --> 00:47:12.726
And hey, Morris, and another thing, you know, we alluded to it earlier when

00:47:12.726 --> 00:47:14.326
you talked about Sleem Vashti.

00:47:14.326 --> 00:47:22.426
No, there's nothing new under the sun, but there is a spirit that's in the land,

00:47:22.446 --> 00:47:24.406
and it's not the spirit of God.

00:47:25.439 --> 00:47:34.639
Is the spirit of error and it's the spirit of witchcraft which is disobedient and if I recall,

00:47:35.939 --> 00:47:41.139
if Christ is the head of man and man is the head of woman there's a chain of

00:47:41.139 --> 00:47:47.219
command there's an order there that's supposed to be maintained and even though

00:47:47.219 --> 00:47:50.979
you might not agree with my decision.

00:47:52.559 --> 00:47:55.559
As one of the as one of the lesser troops

00:47:55.559 --> 00:47:58.379
you supposed to roll with what the superior troop is

00:47:58.379 --> 00:48:02.139
saying or the superior officer is saying listen i'll

00:48:02.139 --> 00:48:06.239
advance the places i ain't saying that i know exactly where this is gonna lead

00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:15.299
but based on my experience young soldier i think we need to go ahead so yeah

00:48:15.299 --> 00:48:18.839
but now you're gonna stand out there in the middle of the jungle we're supposed

00:48:18.839 --> 00:48:20.979
to be out of noise and light discipline,

00:48:21.139 --> 00:48:24.599
but she turned the light on and looked at me and stood up and said,

00:48:24.719 --> 00:48:26.039
I ain't going nowhere. What?

00:48:26.943 --> 00:48:34.323
We about to all die. Right. We about to all die. Hopefully it's just a sniper and not a whole platoon.

00:48:41.463 --> 00:48:44.963
And hopefully since you got the night, he just hit you.

00:48:45.323 --> 00:48:50.203
Right. Exactly. You the one going to draw the fire. I'm staying quiet and I'm staying dark.

00:48:50.903 --> 00:48:56.543
See, why do you hate me? I had to ask this question.

00:48:57.843 --> 00:49:03.983
Why is it that if Jesus already died for us, why we got to die for these women?

00:49:06.003 --> 00:49:10.943
And if after we die, what are they going to do? Find another man who's willing

00:49:10.943 --> 00:49:12.423
to do the same thing that we did?

00:49:16.643 --> 00:49:18.643
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

00:49:22.263 --> 00:49:29.243
Sometimes I speak for myself. I made a bad choice I made an unwise decision

00:49:29.243 --> 00:49:34.723
I saw the red flag but I said I hope beyond hope that,

00:49:35.261 --> 00:49:40.181
would turn around. But I saw the red flag, but I didn't heed the warning of

00:49:40.181 --> 00:49:42.801
the red flag. So that one was on me.

00:49:43.381 --> 00:49:47.681
Speak on the truth. That's what a lot of us do. I wanted it.

00:49:48.221 --> 00:49:54.001
I saw it. I saw it, and I wanted it. I was fascinated by the eyes and the thighs

00:49:54.001 --> 00:49:55.161
and the hips and the lips.

00:49:55.441 --> 00:49:58.021
I was on it. Was that just a day?

00:49:59.241 --> 00:50:04.141
It was for me. And I paid the price. It was the food and not the beauty.

00:50:09.021 --> 00:50:16.041
That's real talk that's real talk and that's what a lot of us in trouble the

00:50:16.041 --> 00:50:20.221
truth you can't make me whole focus on,

00:50:22.161 --> 00:50:26.041
I got kids now that I don't see how to talk.

00:50:31.361 --> 00:50:34.721
And you know what And that's another issue right there.

00:50:34.861 --> 00:50:41.721
I don't know who said that, but why do women use children as a pawn in the game

00:50:41.721 --> 00:50:44.621
of, I gotta make you hurt? Why? It's,

00:50:45.236 --> 00:50:50.116
as they can because the system allows them to. And that's messed up. That's messed up.

00:50:50.776 --> 00:50:53.696
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

00:50:54.256 --> 00:50:57.736
Because you're not hurting me. You're hurting your child.

00:50:58.036 --> 00:51:03.976
But because of your small, your pettiness, you're hurting your own child by

00:51:03.976 --> 00:51:09.176
eroding their relationship with their natural father. Yeah.

00:51:10.196 --> 00:51:16.776
Though man I don't even want to begin and tell you but dang no,

00:51:17.796 --> 00:51:27.016
my first wife went to detention okay like three months after we got divorced she was already.

00:51:28.616 --> 00:51:35.696
Impending when we got divorced we were supposed to go to court and we got a

00:51:35.696 --> 00:51:37.136
court order to go to court the court.

00:51:37.416 --> 00:51:40.696
Well, she did say, well, I'm not going to try to fight you.

00:51:40.956 --> 00:51:43.736
You know what? She's trying to fight me, so let's not go. I said,

00:51:43.836 --> 00:51:45.636
no, we got a court order. We got to go.

00:51:46.036 --> 00:51:48.416
I went. She didn't come.

00:51:49.136 --> 00:51:50.856
I got custody of the kid.

00:51:51.756 --> 00:51:56.296
And I told the man, I said, I'm a veteran. I got PTSD.

00:51:57.176 --> 00:52:01.656
I'm dealing with alcoholism, and I got a cocaine problem.

00:52:02.096 --> 00:52:05.416
But I'm in treatment. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.

00:52:05.416 --> 00:52:12.076
I joined a church and trying to get my faith back and all of that and you know

00:52:12.076 --> 00:52:14.996
what they told me they said,

00:52:15.796 --> 00:52:23.436
because you showed up from your kid and your wife didn't it speaks volumes against

00:52:23.436 --> 00:52:30.996
her as a mother and for you to be this transparent with us they gave me we had

00:52:30.996 --> 00:52:35.176
joint custody but I had outright custody right there,

00:52:35.836 --> 00:52:40.916
there was more violence of me I had to keep on doing what I was doing but you still don't say it,

00:52:41.896 --> 00:52:47.216
Now, this is the crazy part. My oldest daughter was about to have her period.

00:52:47.516 --> 00:52:48.776
I ain't know nothing about that.

00:52:51.636 --> 00:52:55.796
And I lost my house because of 9-11. For real.

00:52:57.542 --> 00:53:02.262
Yeah, my attorney was supposed to be in the court stopping the foreclosure.

00:53:02.422 --> 00:53:05.722
He was in there on September 11th and they closed all the courts.

00:53:05.942 --> 00:53:10.742
They sold my house to the VA on September 12th in the county court after the

00:53:10.742 --> 00:53:13.462
Detroit court didn't open until the 13th.

00:53:13.582 --> 00:53:18.842
All that being said, I had to give guardianship to my mother.

00:53:19.822 --> 00:53:23.782
And then came the five stones.

00:53:24.262 --> 00:53:30.442
I was irresponsible because I didn't. I'm homeless with two daughters. What you want me to do?

00:53:31.522 --> 00:53:33.262
Mama. Right.

00:53:34.622 --> 00:53:39.582
Thank you, Jesus. I had my mama this. You know what I'm saying? But I got courage.

00:53:40.422 --> 00:53:45.182
And they left then because I was considered incapable.

00:53:45.682 --> 00:53:48.502
No, I just wasn't going to have my two girls on the street.

00:53:49.562 --> 00:53:54.802
Yes. Yeah. That part. Yep. Sometimes we make those hard choices, man.

00:53:55.002 --> 00:53:58.682
And, you know, it hurts us to our heart. but we know we're doing what's the best.

00:53:59.622 --> 00:54:04.582
Yeah, but I tell you what, man, it's not too many movies that break me down

00:54:04.582 --> 00:54:09.982
but when I sat in that movie theater and watched The Pursuit of Happiness man, it busted more.

00:54:11.022 --> 00:54:17.522
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was ugly crying in the movie theater.

00:54:17.822 --> 00:54:19.902
Oh, yeah, what you said.

00:54:20.602 --> 00:54:23.902
Man, that is a real father movie right there, man. If you're.

00:54:26.262 --> 00:54:29.742
10 you up right there man 10 you up,

00:54:30.902 --> 00:54:34.182
yeah yeah did

00:54:34.182 --> 00:54:36.942
you all ever see the uh first wife left me

00:54:36.942 --> 00:54:39.622
I was in that same I was in that same kind of

00:54:39.622 --> 00:54:43.322
position as in the movie Pursuit of Pursuit of Happiness with my oldest son

00:54:43.322 --> 00:54:51.042
and man that thing it just it I was crying so bad the people was watching me

00:54:51.042 --> 00:54:55.082
they started watching the movie I was back there boohooing like the world was

00:54:55.082 --> 00:54:59.282
coming to an end and I was fighting hard not to make too much noise but,

00:55:00.171 --> 00:55:03.431
Man, they was coming up, handing me handkerchiefs and patting me and stuff.

00:55:03.631 --> 00:55:06.631
I was like, how are you going, man? Right.

00:55:08.211 --> 00:55:12.471
Exactly. I actually had to get up and walk out. I made too much noise.

00:55:12.611 --> 00:55:15.231
I had to leave them so they could have peace. Wow.

00:55:16.151 --> 00:55:22.971
That's real, dude. That's real, bro. Now, did you all see the forge? Yes.

00:55:26.251 --> 00:55:30.871
Y'all had me cry. Hey, what's the guy's name that play radio?

00:55:32.891 --> 00:55:38.071
Cuba Gooding Jr. Have y'all seen that movie where he's a deep sea devil? Yeah.

00:55:39.671 --> 00:55:44.651
That's a true story. My pops right there. That's a true story.

00:55:45.011 --> 00:55:47.611
He's the first black deep sea devil's name.

00:55:48.671 --> 00:55:53.251
Middle of Honor. Yeah, that old one. Cookie!

00:55:55.431 --> 00:56:01.251
Get up, Cookie! I was mad at Robert DeVall for the end. I was trying on that one too.

00:56:05.331 --> 00:56:08.451
That you mad at Robert DeVall and he didn't do nothing but play the part.

00:56:09.211 --> 00:56:13.011
I know. I ain't like you calling him cooking.

00:56:15.311 --> 00:56:19.411
I'm speaking to y'all. Like who you calling cooking?

00:56:19.811 --> 00:56:23.751
I had a chance to hear that.

00:56:23.971 --> 00:56:29.671
I had a chance to actually hear that man speak. in Norfolk, Virginia. Oh, wow.

00:56:30.951 --> 00:56:36.831
Oh, wow. What was that like? The actual diver, man. That was a bad boy right there.

00:56:37.728 --> 00:56:45.508
He was a serious... That was a man's man right there. That was a bad boy right there. Yeah. Yeah.

00:56:47.328 --> 00:56:53.288
Has he ever met David Goggins? Oh, man. That boy's book is amazing.

00:56:53.648 --> 00:56:56.028
His story is amazing. Yeah.

00:56:57.088 --> 00:57:01.308
That's another man's man for you right there. Yeah, David Goggins.

00:57:02.148 --> 00:57:05.208
I'm like, I haven't even finished the book, Dave.

00:57:05.508 --> 00:57:11.168
I started reading like that. he started challenging me I ain't even getting

00:57:11.168 --> 00:57:13.328
the book good I was getting it myself,

00:57:14.128 --> 00:57:17.508
you know what I'm saying I know what you're saying because that makes you look

00:57:17.508 --> 00:57:22.368
in the mirror his book makes you look in the mirror and review some of the choices

00:57:22.368 --> 00:57:28.068
you made in your life and then you said man I should have went left I should

00:57:28.068 --> 00:57:30.368
have went right what book is this,

00:57:31.748 --> 00:57:32.708
Jennifer Coggins,

00:57:34.168 --> 00:57:40.888
he's the only black man who's gone through every special force and every military brand. Okay.

00:57:41.988 --> 00:57:48.748
So, no, man, this junkie is dangerous, man. I'm just saying.

00:57:49.808 --> 00:57:58.228
He's beyond dangerous. But how he started was he was low, man. He was real low.

00:58:00.268 --> 00:58:05.648
And the name of the book is You Can't Hurt Me. Yeah, that white fist.

00:58:06.768 --> 00:58:11.328
Carl, you can't hurt me? Yeah. Can't hurt me.

00:58:12.128 --> 00:58:16.808
Can't hurt me. Because he went through so much trauma then. He went through

00:58:16.808 --> 00:58:19.068
so many different levels. Right.

00:58:20.168 --> 00:58:21.588
Went in way over way too.

00:58:22.748 --> 00:58:28.388
Yeah, he was over 300 towns. Right. Yeah, he was over 300 towns. Yeah.

00:58:29.699 --> 00:58:32.959
That's a bad boy right there. I ain't nothing with him.

00:58:33.579 --> 00:58:38.539
No, no, no. He got some other training.

00:58:39.899 --> 00:58:44.239
He on some new stuff right there. Hey, man.

00:58:45.559 --> 00:58:47.919
I want him on my team. You fucking get it.

00:58:51.779 --> 00:58:55.339
But I'll be on this team, whatever, because he's going to lead the West.

00:58:55.779 --> 00:58:57.259
For real. This is a joke, man.

00:58:57.699 --> 00:59:04.359
Let's dive into what y'all said. The book made you look at yourself and think

00:59:04.359 --> 00:59:06.339
about some of the decisions you've made.

00:59:06.759 --> 00:59:11.719
That's the reason why I asked the question, what is something that you've been

00:59:11.719 --> 00:59:14.539
holding on for way too long that you need to let go?

00:59:14.759 --> 00:59:19.939
Because that question should make you look at your jobs, your relationships,

00:59:20.579 --> 00:59:27.399
your whatever, and say, okay, what have I been holding on to that I really need to let go?

00:59:27.399 --> 00:59:30.739
Because we're all holding on to something whether

00:59:30.739 --> 00:59:36.479
it be a personal place or a thing we're all holding on to something that we

00:59:36.479 --> 00:59:41.359
need to rid ourselves of everybody is it's some habit that you might need and

00:59:41.359 --> 00:59:46.399
you might not want to tell nobody that's fine because everybody's got a closet

00:59:46.399 --> 00:59:50.519
I believe this wholeheartedly everybody has a closet,

00:59:51.339 --> 00:59:56.619
all the secrets are healed all the secrets are healed Dude,

00:59:57.279 --> 01:00:01.179
are you saying everybody got a closet with a bunch of skeletons? Yes.

01:00:02.559 --> 01:00:05.899
Yeah. Yeah. That's the truth.

01:00:07.079 --> 01:00:13.219
That's the truth. And we're all holding on to something that we need to rid

01:00:13.219 --> 01:00:15.299
ourselves of. We all of them.

01:00:17.779 --> 01:00:26.139
Does it hurt us to recognize that? But that's the question you have to ask yourself is does it hurt you,

01:00:27.403 --> 01:00:30.123
about letting it go because then that's when the

01:00:30.123 --> 01:00:36.443
real healing begins because if it hurts in order for you to let it go then that

01:00:36.443 --> 01:00:45.083
may feel something that has bothered you in some form or fashion or made you

01:00:45.083 --> 01:00:47.843
feel some type of way or was not.

01:00:50.103 --> 01:00:54.943
What's the word I'm looking for conducive to your well-being there you go,

01:00:56.714 --> 01:01:01.094
It kind of depends, too, because some situations might have, yeah,

01:01:01.374 --> 01:01:04.654
I was going to say, it kind of depends on the scenario, though,

01:01:04.734 --> 01:01:06.634
because some situations might

01:01:06.634 --> 01:01:15.154
have power over you, or there's a difference between addiction or shame.

01:01:16.074 --> 01:01:18.794
Know what I'm saying? I don't want to shame nobody.

01:01:19.874 --> 01:01:25.914
No, no, I know you, no, but I'm saying we shame ourselves because of that thing in our closet.

01:01:25.914 --> 01:01:31.754
Right and if we haven't built if we're still trying to hide it you know it's

01:01:31.754 --> 01:01:36.394
got power over you because you don't want to confront the shame but that's the

01:01:36.394 --> 01:01:43.074
trick of the enemy that's a good one that's good Dave that's good that's real good here's another,

01:01:44.314 --> 01:01:51.054
what just came to my mind is sometimes because we are big we feel like we're

01:01:51.054 --> 01:01:57.594
capable of handling anything to kill us We can't fix it.

01:01:58.194 --> 01:02:02.094
You know, you got the birthday thing up.

01:02:03.094 --> 01:02:06.094
They say, you know you ain't no garbage, can't it?

01:02:08.054 --> 01:02:12.534
But it seems simple. It seems doable.

01:02:13.214 --> 01:02:17.834
I don't want to feel incapable. I don't want to feel less than.

01:02:18.594 --> 01:02:22.454
You remember the old song, I always feel like somebody watching me.

01:02:22.454 --> 01:02:27.654
Now, you know, depending on who's talking, how they, you know,

01:02:27.794 --> 01:02:30.814
where you're advising, all those different variables,

01:02:31.614 --> 01:02:40.494
you know, there's a tendency to get overwhelmed in your not selfishness,

01:02:40.714 --> 01:02:46.394
but your self-conscious to the point where you start prouting,

01:02:46.754 --> 01:02:49.574
you start looking at how they're valuing you.

01:02:49.574 --> 01:02:52.514
Then you start second-guessing it.

01:02:52.954 --> 01:02:58.354
That's another thing we all know our teams do. Our teams are the biggest of us.

01:02:59.479 --> 01:03:06.239
You get what I'm saying? Because we value what they say. They always say something.

01:03:06.919 --> 01:03:11.539
But then because we love them, I hope that they're going to say something positive.

01:03:11.939 --> 01:03:16.719
Hey, look, my little straight edge. You're just like your daddy. You're dumb ass.

01:03:19.619 --> 01:03:25.239
Hey, my little, I'm just, you know, come on.

01:03:26.099 --> 01:03:27.619
Come on. Come on.

01:03:28.939 --> 01:03:34.819
That stuff. Yeah. But at the same hand, mama's gone.

01:03:35.699 --> 01:03:38.859
Mama's gone, right. So why are you still holding on to that?

01:03:39.619 --> 01:03:44.659
It's not you holding on to that. It's somebody else saying the same thing, mama said.

01:03:45.159 --> 01:03:50.359
No, but I'm saying right now in this... Yeah, why are you still holding on to it?

01:03:50.799 --> 01:03:53.479
Right, because... Mama and dad is gone.

01:03:54.319 --> 01:04:01.399
Mama and dad is gone. So the only thing I can hold on to is what I believe based

01:04:01.399 --> 01:04:06.099
on what I've learned through Mom and Daddy and without Mom and Daddy.

01:04:06.599 --> 01:04:14.359
Right. That's the thing I always wanted Mom and Daddy to be proud of me. So now I shift.

01:04:14.699 --> 01:04:19.199
I got kids. I'm trying to teach them the right kids.

01:04:19.699 --> 01:04:25.059
I'm trying to teach them the Bible and hard words. I'm trying to celebrate their victories.

01:04:25.859 --> 01:04:32.899
And then you're still being painted by all those who, guess what?

01:04:33.479 --> 01:04:35.099
You ain't got your creativity.

01:04:36.099 --> 01:04:37.959
Remember when you were talking about that a couple weeks ago,

01:04:38.099 --> 01:04:41.779
dude? Yeah. You know, who's a success?

01:04:43.159 --> 01:04:46.599
What's the basis for success? What's the definition of success?

01:04:46.879 --> 01:04:50.059
We hold on to people who define us in the wrong way.

01:04:52.052 --> 01:04:55.432
Success looks different to everybody. Remember when we talked about that?

01:04:55.732 --> 01:04:59.852
Success looks different to everybody. So you got to have your own value.

01:05:01.232 --> 01:05:07.532
And so we all want other people's opinions to us. So we didn't have to go. You're right.

01:05:08.532 --> 01:05:10.712
But success looks different from everybody.

01:05:11.752 --> 01:05:17.532
Yeah. You remember the five-hour beats? When he said, Daddy, I made it.

01:05:18.392 --> 01:05:22.212
He said, too. That was a cold piece, man. I was mad.

01:05:25.132 --> 01:05:28.752
You ain't because I run it.

01:05:30.812 --> 01:05:34.372
Right? I was like, I was mad.

01:05:34.552 --> 01:05:40.812
I wanted to see name. I wanted to be rebellious as a child against my father.

01:05:41.232 --> 01:05:48.092
My daddy never said that to me. But I felt like that was my daddy.

01:05:48.972 --> 01:05:54.312
Reason being because Philly never really supported me on anything.

01:05:54.572 --> 01:05:56.472
He was always there when I graduated something.

01:05:58.552 --> 01:06:00.512
Which I guess was a celebratory.

01:06:02.652 --> 01:06:05.852
But I'm just saying, you know, I mean, how do y'all feel about that?

01:06:05.952 --> 01:06:09.872
Y'all have that experience? Yes. Definitely.

01:06:11.032 --> 01:06:17.952
My father wasn't there for nothing for me. He never saw nothing. He was never at nothing.

01:06:19.392 --> 01:06:24.852
Yeah. So, no, I had to, I didn't have an actual,

01:06:25.252 --> 01:06:31.192
I had to find that mentor, that person to mentor me from somebody else because

01:06:31.192 --> 01:06:35.452
the father role was absent for me. I get that.

01:06:36.802 --> 01:06:41.702
Like, wow. And that's that due to appeal.

01:06:42.162 --> 01:06:50.562
Because even as men today, and we have acquired some level of success based

01:06:50.562 --> 01:06:55.422
on how we define success, because we know we could have been, and we're not.

01:06:55.742 --> 01:06:58.362
So that's the success. Yeah.

01:06:59.182 --> 01:07:05.622
I looked at it like this. If the guy that was supposed to be there to show me

01:07:05.622 --> 01:07:11.782
the way didn't show up then I've got to figure out my way and then I said I'm

01:07:11.782 --> 01:07:13.542
going to show my son the way.

01:07:13.782 --> 01:07:18.682
I'm going to start it up because I didn't inherit nothing so now I got to start

01:07:18.682 --> 01:07:21.302
it up so I can hand something down. Right.

01:07:23.522 --> 01:07:29.982
That's a good one. I like that. I like that. Now what about what you said?

01:07:30.442 --> 01:07:33.402
You didn't inherit nothing but you tried to leave something.

01:07:35.002 --> 01:07:39.802
How does that play out in the scheme of things? Because a lot of us are struggling

01:07:39.802 --> 01:07:43.782
to try to have something to leave. It's about choices.

01:07:44.442 --> 01:07:50.282
It's about choices and how you choose to live your life. And that's another thing.

01:07:50.642 --> 01:07:56.342
This all goes into the question. What is something that you've been holding on to for way too long?

01:07:56.762 --> 01:08:00.382
You've been holding on to pity. You've been holding on to self-doubt.

01:08:00.642 --> 01:08:03.102
You've been holding on to self-worthlessness.

01:08:03.742 --> 01:08:07.622
You've been holding on to all these things that's the reason why a lot of us

01:08:07.622 --> 01:08:13.422
aren't successful is because we're number one we're afraid of success because

01:08:13.422 --> 01:08:18.422
we didn't we've never seen success in our lives a lot of us are afraid of it,

01:08:20.274 --> 01:08:24.914
Right. So fear is what's keeping you in the place you're in.

01:08:25.134 --> 01:08:27.774
Fear is what has you in a relationship.

01:08:28.034 --> 01:08:33.834
Fear is what has you at a job for so long. Fear is what has you, you know, whatever.

01:08:34.014 --> 01:08:41.134
It keeps you in a place to where you're submissive to whatever it is you're afraid of.

01:08:41.674 --> 01:08:43.814
It keeps you bound and gay.

01:08:44.394 --> 01:08:49.114
I better not quit this job. If I quit this job, I don't know where to live.

01:08:51.994 --> 01:08:57.954
I had a girlfriend who was in an abusive relationship I thought that was the

01:08:57.954 --> 01:09:02.794
best thing that ever happened to her because I really loved her and her husband

01:09:02.794 --> 01:09:06.054
had gotten out of the penitentiary after doing 12 years,

01:09:06.794 --> 01:09:13.954
for a man's father she went back to him I said to my mother why would she do that,

01:09:14.714 --> 01:09:19.574
and my mother said because he's familiar year, and you're not,

01:09:21.679 --> 01:09:27.519
say this morning what i say this morning dude what i say this morning you look

01:09:27.519 --> 01:09:31.479
for the same thing she looking for the same thing and wondering why things ain't change.

01:09:35.079 --> 01:09:40.419
Who that's a major call you end up in the same impassive situation that you

01:09:40.419 --> 01:09:43.919
started out in and wonder why something why wonder why things ain't different,

01:09:45.239 --> 01:09:50.259
people can't see that a lot of people cannot see that a lot of people cannot

01:09:50.259 --> 01:09:58.119
see that I just couldn't understand it because my mom said, he's scared of you.

01:09:58.779 --> 01:10:00.579
I said, why? She said,

01:10:02.919 --> 01:10:07.999
she knows what he'll do. She don't know what you'll do. Right.

01:10:09.839 --> 01:10:15.739
You really understand what your mother was saying? I was so mad.

01:10:15.919 --> 01:10:20.539
I was so mad because I thought, listen, we've all heard term,

01:10:21.039 --> 01:10:26.719
and I wasn't trying to be Captain Save Nothing, but she was beautiful.

01:10:27.239 --> 01:10:32.579
We vibed. We had a lot of the same scars and pains and stuff,

01:10:32.839 --> 01:10:35.939
and I just thought, man, wow.

01:10:36.259 --> 01:10:39.119
I'd have found the one that I can relate to. What?

01:10:43.399 --> 01:10:43.999
Yeah.

01:10:46.003 --> 01:10:52.083
She left me and went back to this monster. She had 19 stab wounds on her body from here.

01:10:53.523 --> 01:11:00.583
I could not understand for my life. Why would this woman go back to this BD on her birthday?

01:11:03.463 --> 01:11:07.823
Tomorrow she is not probably would never do. Except for my wife.

01:11:08.443 --> 01:11:15.363
You know what I'm saying? But I mean, he called me out. all some real crazy

01:11:15.363 --> 01:11:16.743
stuff. I ain't gonna go into it.

01:11:16.963 --> 01:11:20.323
But he said some real foul stuff because he didn't come out of the penitentiary.

01:11:20.703 --> 01:11:24.483
Basically, he got, he must have beat her up or something, got my phone done,

01:11:24.723 --> 01:11:27.303
and he was gonna call me, talking about he had a dress for me.

01:11:27.503 --> 01:11:33.023
I said, oh, when I see you, sir, it's a second, you gonna dance.

01:11:33.703 --> 01:11:38.023
I'm like that. And I admit that. And that's what happened to happen.

01:11:38.903 --> 01:11:41.203
And, uh, yeah, we danced.

01:11:42.963 --> 01:11:48.443
And he went to the hospital. Good evening, Mr. Riley. How you doing, sir? Mr. Mark? Good.

01:11:51.803 --> 01:11:56.863
Fellas. Doing fine. How y'all doing? Y'all came in on the back end of a wild

01:11:56.863 --> 01:11:58.903
conversation, didn't they? Yeah!

01:12:00.103 --> 01:12:05.623
Riley, where you been, bro? Man, yeah, there's been a lot of stuff going on, man.

01:12:06.103 --> 01:12:09.643
Celebrating birthdays and all that good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:12:10.768 --> 01:12:14.488
Yes, sir. Y'all do it all right. Doing good.

01:12:15.188 --> 01:12:19.608
Good, good, good. Hey, fellas, I got to tap out. I got to touch base with some

01:12:19.608 --> 01:12:22.328
family members. They texting about something. I don't know what's going on.

01:12:22.788 --> 01:12:27.108
Hey, man, it was good to hear from you. I'm glad you were here. Have a great night.

01:12:28.148 --> 01:12:31.188
Yes, sir. Y'all are welcome, brother. Just keep me in your prayer.

01:12:31.468 --> 01:12:34.488
I don't know what this conversation about to be about, but we're glad to see.

01:12:36.688 --> 01:12:39.608
What are you playing for? Yes, sir.

01:12:42.488 --> 01:12:46.548
All right y'all I think the

01:12:46.548 --> 01:12:49.288
reason back to what I was saying the reason why a lot

01:12:49.288 --> 01:12:52.188
of us aren't successful is because of the fear of

01:12:52.188 --> 01:12:57.508
success and the fear of success has ruined so many great ideas for so many great

01:12:57.508 --> 01:13:02.308
people because you could be sitting on a gold mine a million dollar opportunity

01:13:02.308 --> 01:13:06.828
but you're afraid to put it out in the world because you're afraid somebody

01:13:06.828 --> 01:13:09.728
gonna steal it somebody gonna do this, somebody gonna do that,

01:13:10.448 --> 01:13:13.928
so that fear you're holding yourself back.

01:13:15.548 --> 01:13:21.588
You're absolutely right too you know what else you know part of the fear of

01:13:21.588 --> 01:13:27.348
success I guess I've learned recently is the fear of leaving somebody behind

01:13:27.348 --> 01:13:32.248
that you want to come along with you because they just are stuck you remember

01:13:32.248 --> 01:13:35.468
JoJo Dance in the movie yes,

01:13:36.048 --> 01:13:41.128
you remember when his daddy said boy I'll do this he said I got to go,

01:13:42.248 --> 01:13:48.968
right now he was married he got slapped by his daddy in front of his wife he

01:13:48.968 --> 01:13:53.748
said I'm looking out of here the next day he was getting ready to get on the bus to go somewhere,

01:13:55.285 --> 01:13:59.405
And his wife was at the bus station and she said, I can't go with you, John-John.

01:14:00.945 --> 01:14:04.285
She said, what's she talking about? She said, well, I ain't never been nowhere

01:14:04.285 --> 01:14:08.725
before. She said, I ain't been nowhere before in India. We can go together.

01:14:10.305 --> 01:14:13.325
She said, no, my mom and my daddy here.

01:14:13.905 --> 01:14:18.765
And I can't go with you. And in that moment, he had to make a decision about

01:14:18.765 --> 01:14:23.825
going somewhere or staying with his wife. Right.

01:14:25.285 --> 01:14:30.985
She didn't want to leave their safety net. That's the biggest thing about the fear.

01:14:31.225 --> 01:14:34.285
The fear of most people is not want to leave their safety net.

01:14:34.825 --> 01:14:37.405
In comfort zone. That comfort zone, man.

01:14:39.105 --> 01:14:46.425
Uncomfortability is a hard thing. But it also brings some joy and some success

01:14:46.425 --> 01:14:47.705
by now to get uncomfortable.

01:14:49.105 --> 01:14:53.225
Well, you got to put the stairs in the road.

01:14:55.315 --> 01:15:00.155
Do you think it can be fear of the unknown? Yes. It can be fear of the unknown also.

01:15:01.635 --> 01:15:07.615
It can be all of that. But at what point do we say, we throw caution in the

01:15:07.615 --> 01:15:11.275
wind and say, I'm going to get out here and I'm going to try something different

01:15:11.275 --> 01:15:13.715
because I don't know what's on the other side.

01:15:14.355 --> 01:15:19.235
Because a lot of us are choosing to stay in our comfort zones,

01:15:19.235 --> 01:15:21.555
like I said, and we never make it anywhere.

01:15:21.555 --> 01:15:24.195
You never make it

01:15:24.195 --> 01:15:30.475
anywhere nothing ever happens you just setting it but you know what don't do

01:15:30.475 --> 01:15:38.655
if you don't make it remember the old cliche have an A plan B plan C plan D

01:15:38.655 --> 01:15:43.395
plan and the oh shit plan and,

01:15:44.475 --> 01:15:51.535
what we do is we get an A plan and we wake up in the middle of the night and say it's going to work.

01:15:53.115 --> 01:15:57.655
We invest everything into that and then it doesn't work.

01:15:58.850 --> 01:16:02.770
We got to go back to the ground board. And you get so tired to start over,

01:16:02.910 --> 01:16:07.730
man, to the point where you don't want to drink no more. Really?

01:16:08.830 --> 01:16:13.290
So, it's like, it ain't going to never. That's got bad luck,

01:16:13.590 --> 01:16:16.630
slept rock mentality, man. I don't know why.

01:16:17.670 --> 01:16:22.470
That's how people try to push that on TV. That's not where you are.

01:16:22.970 --> 01:16:25.530
But he can quickly become there.

01:16:26.710 --> 01:16:30.050
You're not grown, listen to the wrong people in your ear belt.

01:16:30.950 --> 01:16:35.850
So you really think you outgrow the seasoned dreamers.

01:16:37.230 --> 01:16:41.470
I don't, I think you can give up on the seasonal dream.

01:16:41.770 --> 01:16:46.430
I think as long as you live, you have the capacity and ability to dream,

01:16:46.870 --> 01:16:52.590
but holding on to the dream, believing in the dream, trying to.

01:16:54.650 --> 01:17:01.030
See the dream come, you know, If the dream is just entertainment or a fantasy,

01:17:01.750 --> 01:17:03.490
what's you holding on to it for?

01:17:04.530 --> 01:17:08.650
See what I'm saying? Why you gonna hold on to something that's not gonna come to pass?

01:17:09.110 --> 01:17:13.990
And if you're constantly sheeted down, this is part of the problem.

01:17:14.730 --> 01:17:18.130
You know, a lot of these young men just gave up. Why?

01:17:19.321 --> 01:17:23.201
I didn't want to be women. I'm not trying to step on nobody's toes.

01:17:23.421 --> 01:17:27.941
Is it saying, well, no, I understand where you're at with the whole situation.

01:17:28.161 --> 01:17:33.001
No, we're not stepping on anyone's toes. We're simply having a logical debate

01:17:33.001 --> 01:17:37.741
about life and trying to understand how we got to this point.

01:17:39.561 --> 01:17:43.061
Right. Because you asked a question a couple of weeks ago, what happened from

01:17:43.061 --> 01:17:46.581
the 40s to now, from the 30s to now?

01:17:46.581 --> 01:17:49.581
I asked that question about three days

01:17:49.581 --> 01:17:52.901
ago I asked a woman

01:17:52.901 --> 01:17:56.141
I said what happened to the

01:17:56.141 --> 01:17:59.201
definition of man what a man need

01:17:59.201 --> 01:18:04.421
why we got all these different you know what I'm saying and why do the women

01:18:04.421 --> 01:18:12.681
a lot of the women try to identify or say that a man ain't a man and they get

01:18:12.681 --> 01:18:17.161
out man to man you know what I'm saying That was really, real ignorant.

01:18:17.321 --> 01:18:20.601
I said, okay, so, okay, y'all want to go to war?

01:18:21.161 --> 01:18:24.981
Y'all want to lead soldiers in the battle? It's not that we can.

01:18:25.301 --> 01:18:29.941
Okay, you're looking at a drama and all these other crazy movies because if

01:18:29.941 --> 01:18:33.061
it ever comes to you putting on the battlefield vest,

01:18:34.021 --> 01:18:40.141
being dropped out of helicopters, and leads 100 million into a short death situation,

01:18:41.081 --> 01:18:45.381
I don't know what women do you think would do it. Hillary Clinton.

01:18:45.561 --> 01:18:55.781
Boom but as much as they talk who's going to volunteer to be the first one see it's cool to fly blame,

01:18:56.721 --> 01:19:02.021
operate the job the ground the ground is up there.

01:19:04.481 --> 01:19:11.881
I'm just saying like Dave said it's the spirit it's the spirit it's the rebellious

01:19:11.881 --> 01:19:17.021
spirit that we don't need you and...

01:19:18.502 --> 01:19:23.322
Could do better without you and you ain't doing this for me.

01:19:23.962 --> 01:19:31.042
But then we're straying away from the topic. We're straying away from the topic. My bad.

01:19:32.502 --> 01:19:37.382
It's about you. You gotta let go of that, too. Yeah, right. You gotta let go

01:19:37.382 --> 01:19:39.962
of that, too. You gotta let go of experience.

01:19:41.122 --> 01:19:45.582
Pain. Pain. You gotta let go of some of the pain and the hurt that people have

01:19:45.582 --> 01:19:49.702
put you through because you can never, you'll never move forward if you keep

01:19:49.702 --> 01:19:51.722
living in it. That's true.

01:19:54.442 --> 01:19:57.862
That's true. I get when you start.

01:19:59.642 --> 01:20:04.122
And I just got to add in there, dude, what you just said is so true because

01:20:04.122 --> 01:20:09.582
even though I tell my story about what I've been through, I don't have a problem

01:20:09.582 --> 01:20:10.962
with either one of my ex-wives.

01:20:11.202 --> 01:20:15.142
I can talk to them. We can have good conversation. We can sit in the same room.

01:20:16.198 --> 01:20:21.298
But, you know, what we had, that's in the past. And we have to deal with each

01:20:21.298 --> 01:20:22.738
other for who we are right now.

01:20:26.298 --> 01:20:32.058
And I'm blessed that one of my exes lives in Texas, so I don't never get to see her. Right.

01:20:33.998 --> 01:20:38.958
You know, Dave, when I said something, when I said to somebody a couple weeks

01:20:38.958 --> 01:20:43.218
ago that, yeah, I'm still friends with a lot of my exes. I'm still cool with a lot of my exes.

01:20:43.638 --> 01:20:50.618
My wife doesn't even notice them. y'all weird man I have an African mailman that's not weird,

01:20:52.258 --> 01:20:57.118
he said I was living right

01:20:57.118 --> 01:21:02.658
there's blood on my ex-wife and he kept giving my mail to her and I said yo

01:21:02.658 --> 01:21:08.398
man that's me I'm Lawrence that's Marisa I ain't even put a name like that but

01:21:08.398 --> 01:21:13.658
anyway I said I'm Lawrence he said well I don't know it's just your name's all.

01:21:16.738 --> 01:21:23.238
He said, you live next door to your ex-wife? I said, yeah, man.

01:21:23.978 --> 01:21:27.698
He said, if that's me, I would kill her. I'm not seeing that y'all.

01:21:28.178 --> 01:21:29.518
See, I don't know nothing.

01:21:30.238 --> 01:21:34.198
All the way he was from, what country he was from in Africa.

01:21:35.258 --> 01:21:41.578
But, yeah, he was on something else. But yeah, you know, it gets your ex-wife

01:21:41.578 --> 01:21:44.298
for four or five years, man.

01:21:45.958 --> 01:21:50.198
I was better than my ex-wife. It's definitely a sign of maturity.

01:21:50.378 --> 01:21:57.058
I mean, so, you know, as we get older, we definitely got to learn how to do better. Yeah.

01:22:00.378 --> 01:22:06.338
Let go of whatever y'all had that broke y'all apart, it's gone. It's over. Oh, yeah.

01:22:07.118 --> 01:22:10.738
I ain't got no regrets because I'm blessed now beyond compare.

01:22:12.532 --> 01:22:19.092
But a lot of us are still holding on to that we done me wrong blah blah blah blah,

01:22:20.032 --> 01:22:23.792
they done me wrong my mama done me wrong, my daddy done me wrong my cousin done

01:22:23.792 --> 01:22:28.932
me wrong, okay they done you wrong are you still drinking the poison hoping they gonna die.

01:22:30.452 --> 01:22:36.352
No but you know what dude one of the real things I think that we deal with,

01:22:37.032 --> 01:22:43.592
are we doing enough to make a deal and so a lot of times we can suck on,

01:22:43.912 --> 01:22:45.752
bro, maybe I need to do more.

01:22:46.052 --> 01:22:53.392
Maybe I need to do more. It's not realizing that you've done all you can do.

01:22:54.532 --> 01:22:58.732
You understand what I'm saying? But if you keep going back to the jawboard saying

01:22:58.732 --> 01:23:02.712
I can be a little bit sweeter, I can be a little bit more jealous,

01:23:03.132 --> 01:23:08.072
I can be a little wrong question, I can be a little wrong, so how are you all on that?

01:23:09.032 --> 01:23:13.832
But when is enough enough and you move on that's the question,

01:23:14.612 --> 01:23:20.232
that's the question and that's the original question what are we all known to

01:23:20.232 --> 01:23:26.752
that's keeping us from moving on and man that's going to be a question that's

01:23:26.752 --> 01:23:28.932
going to be through the night for me,

01:23:30.272 --> 01:23:35.912
you know because when you've exhausted everything that you have you've given

01:23:35.912 --> 01:23:38.652
your all You've given everything you've got.

01:23:39.622 --> 01:23:46.082
When do you move on well yeah yeah and.

01:23:47.742 --> 01:23:51.582
Okay so how do you deal with the sorrow like

01:23:51.582 --> 01:23:58.202
it's like this like we're going back to talking about the military swim test

01:23:58.202 --> 01:24:08.862
and all of that when you realize okay fighting is not winning arguing is not winning,

01:24:09.922 --> 01:24:12.002
you got to get some peace, man.

01:24:12.262 --> 01:24:15.782
It's going to drive you crazy trying to defeat, you know what I'm saying?

01:24:16.942 --> 01:24:21.862
I mean, I guess we're in war now, and they're going back and forth with dialogue,

01:24:22.242 --> 01:24:26.822
and everybody's getting frustrated, and, you know, it's going to be a point

01:24:26.822 --> 01:24:28.902
where it's going to be like, you know, that's it.

01:24:29.082 --> 01:24:34.582
I'm done, and, you know, hopefully, you know, here we go.

01:24:34.802 --> 01:24:40.062
Hold on that false hope again, though, because it don't look like what we hope is for us.

01:24:41.302 --> 01:24:47.762
And then we got to be mature enough to say, it ain't going to happen. Right. Right.

01:24:48.722 --> 01:24:52.882
It ain't going to matter. It takes a level of maturity to get to that point

01:24:52.882 --> 01:24:55.362
to say it ain't going to happen. Some people...

01:24:56.402 --> 01:24:59.962
Is the maturity pain from the experience of time?

01:25:02.409 --> 01:25:06.229
It comes from there, but it also comes from a logic mind and thinking,

01:25:06.929 --> 01:25:09.649
okay, I've exhausted everything I can exhaust.

01:25:10.509 --> 01:25:16.109
Yes, you can say I could be a better person, but if you sit down,

01:25:16.289 --> 01:25:19.309
and I think this is what a lot of us don't do.

01:25:19.309 --> 01:25:23.349
Put your device down Turn the TV

01:25:23.349 --> 01:25:28.489
off And just sit there and have a moment And really reflect in silence And think

01:25:28.489 --> 01:25:34.829
about life And take some stock in your life And take stock in the relationships

01:25:34.829 --> 01:25:39.469
in your life And take stock in the In what you got going on,

01:25:40.649 --> 01:25:43.529
live at what what your finances look

01:25:43.529 --> 01:25:46.409
like take stock of that and once

01:25:46.409 --> 01:25:49.129
you sit down and really take stock of that and see

01:25:49.129 --> 01:25:52.429
where you you here's a here's an economic denominator

01:25:52.429 --> 01:25:58.089
in all the situations you have to think about you what did i do to get myself

01:25:58.089 --> 01:26:02.109
in this relationship what did i do to get myself in this house what did i do

01:26:02.109 --> 01:26:06.149
to get myself in this friendship what did i do to get myself in this employment

01:26:06.149 --> 01:26:10.049
and at some point you don't want to fix it and if you don't want to,

01:26:12.329 --> 01:26:18.729
you want to be stuck that's it you want to be stuck and you can't blame nobody

01:26:18.729 --> 01:26:22.689
you can't blame your ex-wife you can't blame your children you can't blame your

01:26:22.689 --> 01:26:25.509
job you can't blame nobody nobody.

01:26:28.549 --> 01:26:35.689
You can't it's all you at this point and Marianne at that point where you got

01:26:35.689 --> 01:26:40.849
to make that real kill so decision okay it's going to hurt me but it's just

01:26:40.849 --> 01:26:42.949
long shot season. You know what I mean?

01:26:45.229 --> 01:26:54.209
You know what I mean? Yes, the lessons always come when you in those moments where it hurts.

01:26:54.469 --> 01:26:57.849
Nine times out of ten, there's a lesson there that you miss.

01:26:58.449 --> 01:27:03.049
In the hurt, there's a lesson that you miss, whether it was to protect yourself,

01:27:03.389 --> 01:27:08.229
whether it was to step up and learn your job plus your supervisor's job.

01:27:08.849 --> 01:27:12.869
You missed out you missed the lesson that was put in front of you,

01:27:13.689 --> 01:27:18.669
you know what I'm going to share something with y'all right now it just dawned

01:27:18.669 --> 01:27:24.489
on me when you was talking about this one of the things that really hurt me bad.

01:27:27.587 --> 01:27:31.487
Was walking away after I got sober.

01:27:32.307 --> 01:27:36.707
Walking away from people who I thought were genuine friends.

01:27:37.187 --> 01:27:42.807
They were on the street when I was on the street. They were sharing maloney sandwiches.

01:27:43.347 --> 01:27:49.227
I come home, I get clean, man, and come back to the family, and it's like, ah. You know?

01:27:50.507 --> 01:27:54.807
It's up to the day. Like, I still got please.

01:27:55.747 --> 01:28:03.507
You know, hey, it's 30 years ago. Yeah, but you know what? You did that 30 years ago.

01:28:03.907 --> 01:28:07.687
Okay, so what did you do in your closet 30 years ago?

01:28:08.447 --> 01:28:13.007
You nobody see you. I need to be clear in mind because I need your help.

01:28:13.667 --> 01:28:16.747
I still don't be. Then I did the protocol.

01:28:17.727 --> 01:28:22.067
So at the end of the day, I'm not holding on to that. I don't care. Okay.

01:28:23.535 --> 01:28:28.375
I got a cousin, like I said, he had a life sentence, but he got out after doing 17 years.

01:28:28.855 --> 01:28:31.795
And he ain't never been back. And he started three businesses.

01:28:32.035 --> 01:28:33.255
And he's got a family number.

01:28:34.235 --> 01:28:40.335
And he ain't thinking about going back. All his old ways are gone. That's the success.

01:28:41.155 --> 01:28:43.075
Yes. That's success.

01:28:43.995 --> 01:28:47.975
They let other folks tell us that ain't got a traffic ticket.

01:28:48.815 --> 01:28:51.455
You know, you ain't got a traffic ticket.

01:28:52.535 --> 01:29:02.295
You're a success too but you can't take mine from me I don't have a success you know what I'm saying,

01:29:02.815 --> 01:29:12.315
to me that's a success on one hand but I got several friends that do and then

01:29:12.315 --> 01:29:14.675
he got another one success,

01:29:16.575 --> 01:29:19.355
you know what I'm saying I ain't gonna say.

01:29:21.875 --> 01:29:27.555
I'm better. No, like you said, everybody's got a closet.

01:29:29.063 --> 01:29:33.603
Hey, everybody's got a closet and there's secrets in it. Yeah,

01:29:33.883 --> 01:29:35.503
secrets box or something.

01:29:36.423 --> 01:29:38.643
Something. Under the floorboard, something.

01:29:39.703 --> 01:29:43.863
Under the floorboard. Under the floorboard, man. Come on now.

01:29:44.223 --> 01:29:49.523
You know, in that coming hole in the game, something blocked in the base. Behind the shelf.

01:29:52.123 --> 01:29:59.563
I'm just saying, you know, and the crazy part is when it gets exposed, how do you act?

01:30:00.703 --> 01:30:05.003
You know what I mean? How do you not really get exposed? Because you said it

01:30:05.003 --> 01:30:08.503
didn't happen in the beginning.

01:30:08.983 --> 01:30:12.463
Now it comes in and everybody sees it.

01:30:13.023 --> 01:30:20.203
Oh, you know, one of the greatest fears of success I know a lot of people have stopped this from.

01:30:21.643 --> 01:30:25.103
What's that? In this era of uncertainty.

01:30:26.043 --> 01:30:30.063
You see that man and woman they had 11,000 acres,

01:30:31.203 --> 01:30:37.003
raising cattle and then wildfires came to Nebraska and one day they lost it

01:30:37.003 --> 01:30:41.523
all you remember the Enron people one day,

01:30:42.743 --> 01:30:49.403
they lost one couple of things what are we going to do now we only have $750,000

01:30:49.403 --> 01:30:54.703
in the bank and everybody around me was like what I said no, no,

01:30:54.843 --> 01:31:01.243
y'all missing it They got $730,000 in the bank when they had $11 million in the bank for 10,

01:31:01.483 --> 01:31:03.863
15 years. Right.

01:31:04.943 --> 01:31:10.183
That's a drastic change. Because they got to leave their house,

01:31:10.203 --> 01:31:11.663
they leveraged to the yield, man.

01:31:15.803 --> 01:31:17.223
Everything's from credit and,

01:31:17.223 --> 01:31:22.023
you know, investments is wrapped up and you can't take your money out.

01:31:22.543 --> 01:31:25.143
Everything you have is gone.

01:31:26.606 --> 01:31:30.966
Of us have been through that before we had a whole life. Right.

01:31:33.226 --> 01:31:37.966
So we're better equipped to deal with it if it happens again than those who,

01:31:38.546 --> 01:31:43.566
have a whole life now but ain't never lost nothing and ain't proud.

01:31:44.466 --> 01:31:48.146
Feel what I'm saying? I understand what you're saying.

01:31:48.706 --> 01:31:53.266
So when you walk away from those people because you got an experience and you

01:31:53.266 --> 01:31:54.806
say, you know what? I'm done.

01:31:57.306 --> 01:32:01.866
I can't I can't cause dragging dead weight is gonna make you dead,

01:32:02.466 --> 01:32:08.166
right and see that's what I'm saying about letting people go that's what I'm

01:32:08.166 --> 01:32:12.546
saying about letting people go you dragging dead weight like Ma was talking

01:32:12.546 --> 01:32:18.226
about his friend when he got out you dragging dead weight yeah,

01:32:19.326 --> 01:32:23.026
your friend talking about hey man come on we can set up a new crew and everything

01:32:23.026 --> 01:32:24.986
man we go back to what we was doing,

01:32:27.126 --> 01:32:30.806
I just did 20 years man right,

01:32:32.907 --> 01:32:40.087
do that for five years. You're going to go back to it? Is this going to be a successful moment now?

01:32:42.447 --> 01:32:45.387
Yeah, I don't want that. I don't want to be a part of that.

01:32:46.187 --> 01:32:52.367
It don't make no sense to be a part of it. It don't even make no sense to be a part of it. You know?

01:32:53.367 --> 01:33:00.607
Toxic relationships toxic relationships are... But they exist every day.

01:33:01.527 --> 01:33:07.687
And they're so subtle. some of them are so subtle because you want to hold on

01:33:07.687 --> 01:33:09.467
to the hope that they really love you.

01:33:09.787 --> 01:33:13.667
Dude, if you said something and a man said something, you know,

01:33:13.807 --> 01:33:20.607
you really, you want that feeling of love. You want that feeling of acceptance.

01:33:21.787 --> 01:33:25.387
Here's something. Here goes something for you. You remember the song?

01:33:25.907 --> 01:33:31.147
The song about Ty 777-9311? Yes.

01:33:31.927 --> 01:33:38.087
Okay he said something in that song that's so powerful it's not even funny and

01:33:38.087 --> 01:33:43.527
it is ain't nothing worse than reject I feel a little better if you slap my face.

01:33:47.673 --> 01:33:56.813
You alright you feel what I'm going with that yeah I totally get it you know

01:33:56.813 --> 01:34:00.033
Jeremy spoke in class today yes,

01:34:00.853 --> 01:34:05.233
he was getting rejected all the time when he's fine he's time to say something.

01:34:08.813 --> 01:34:14.473
That happens all the time too you know I'm still concerned about that 7-year-old

01:34:14.473 --> 01:34:15.833
Q. He's still on your bus, too.

01:34:16.373 --> 01:34:20.813
I'm not driving that route anymore, but yeah, he's still on the bus.

01:34:21.713 --> 01:34:26.353
See, that's the tragedy waiting to happen, man. If they don't get to the throne

01:34:26.353 --> 01:34:28.293
of that, most definitely.

01:34:28.973 --> 01:34:39.173
You know, if he makes it to 20 and 13 years, you know who it's going to be ours?

01:34:40.793 --> 01:34:43.613
What do you say, brother? It's going to be our fault.

01:34:43.773 --> 01:34:48.993
It'll be the system's fault. Yeah. Yeah.

01:34:51.853 --> 01:34:57.913
But how is it the system's fault when there's nobody at home taking responsibility?

01:34:58.953 --> 01:35:04.633
The system tells us. The system gets them down. The system set it up that way.

01:35:05.813 --> 01:35:09.633
The system is still redlining us. The system is still gerrymandering us.

01:35:09.753 --> 01:35:14.113
The system is still taking away our basic liberties. they're trying to go gen

01:35:14.113 --> 01:35:17.293
crow the system is for real yes

01:35:17.293 --> 01:35:23.813
i agree i totally agree with that i mean what time do you want to leave.

01:35:27.953 --> 01:35:30.893
Yeah yeah yeah yeah,

01:35:32.601 --> 01:35:36.541
right now. It's really rough. It's rough out here.

01:35:37.181 --> 01:35:40.481
It's not going to get any better anytime soon.

01:35:40.781 --> 01:35:44.241
We got, you know, we have what we have as a commander in chief.

01:35:44.481 --> 01:35:48.981
I'm not going to speak one way or another. We're just going to say that the

01:35:48.981 --> 01:35:51.501
proof is in the pudding. How about that? Does that work?

01:35:52.241 --> 01:35:55.261
You get what you're paying for. You get what you're paying for.

01:35:55.781 --> 01:35:57.221
You get what you're paying for.

01:35:58.661 --> 01:36:02.581
See, oh my God. If I could have one wish.

01:36:06.361 --> 01:36:14.681
Oh, man. You know, if I could have one wish, the only thing I would wish is for people to actually,

01:36:16.441 --> 01:36:23.761
exercise the right that people fall to the United States with no people of color. Okay.

01:36:26.201 --> 01:36:27.461
How is that going to work?

01:36:33.041 --> 01:36:38.001
That would show them since if there were no people of color in the United States

01:36:38.001 --> 01:36:44.141
if the United States was completely 100% Caucasian European whatever I would

01:36:44.141 --> 01:36:45.701
love to see where they would be,

01:36:47.841 --> 01:36:50.541
who gonna walk with this baloney tip,

01:36:53.121 --> 01:36:59.961
listen ain't nobody gonna work the bougie gonna be listen they don't be stinking

01:36:59.961 --> 01:37:04.641
they don't be it's gonna be like what was the black the dark ages of Europe

01:37:04.641 --> 01:37:07.921
where they was all funky and stuff I mean,

01:37:09.541 --> 01:37:15.741
they lost themselves man it would implode because they would turn on themselves

01:37:15.741 --> 01:37:22.481
because they wouldn't have anybody else to put the it on so that they could

01:37:22.481 --> 01:37:25.661
unify against them they would have to go against themselves,

01:37:26.521 --> 01:37:28.981
we're never on the dog we're doing it,

01:37:30.432 --> 01:37:32.452
But bologna sandwiches?

01:37:35.332 --> 01:37:40.612
Man, I haven't had a bologna sandwich in probably 35, 40 years.

01:37:41.592 --> 01:37:45.572
They're going to bust a bologna sandwiches for chefs. Ain't no more fried chicken.

01:37:46.072 --> 01:37:47.032
Ain't no more tourniquet.

01:37:47.652 --> 01:37:50.472
No, they're going to eat each other. No more cornbread.

01:37:52.252 --> 01:37:55.712
Listen, they're going to eat each other. It's like bologna sandwich.

01:37:55.832 --> 01:37:59.132
They're going to be killed. That's how I like it.

01:38:00.432 --> 01:38:04.432
Have y'all noticed all the cannibal commercials that they put out there now?

01:38:05.332 --> 01:38:10.932
No. Just look at your food commercial. You got the chicken, the dude.

01:38:11.692 --> 01:38:15.852
They dipped in some gravy, and he turned into a chicken nugget.

01:38:16.372 --> 01:38:20.392
Then you got the... Oh, my. I didn't see you.

01:38:23.012 --> 01:38:26.232
I had somebody ask me this question. They said,

01:38:26.412 --> 01:38:32.572
with all of the speculation about McDonald's have a hamburger that's with humans

01:38:32.572 --> 01:38:38.372
in it how come they never said listen we want to put a stop to the room we only treat no humans,

01:38:40.137 --> 01:38:42.997
I didn't know who said nothing. Back up.

01:38:43.477 --> 01:38:48.197
Back up. Mark, what did you say, Mark? Let me back up. What did you say?

01:38:48.997 --> 01:38:50.817
Come on, Mark. You don't play.

01:38:53.437 --> 01:38:56.637
Don't try to slide in there like I didn't hear you, Mark. What did you say?

01:38:58.997 --> 01:39:02.457
Oh, I heard what you said. You said what?

01:39:04.377 --> 01:39:09.497
Where are all the cows at, Mark? And Moniz said where are all the cows at?

01:39:10.137 --> 01:39:15.877
Yeah, where are all the cows at? Mark, did Mark say where are all the cows at?

01:39:16.437 --> 01:39:20.877
I haven't said anything. I'm just listening. No, that was Morris.

01:39:21.077 --> 01:39:24.937
That was Morris. I'm asking where are all the cows at? He said where are all the cows at.

01:39:27.277 --> 01:39:36.437
We, and McDonald's, it used to be 100,000 people served, right?

01:39:37.097 --> 01:39:38.337
But then you start working.

01:39:39.017 --> 01:39:43.017
Yeah. You ain't said 100,000 cattle, sir.

01:39:45.052 --> 01:39:52.052
See, because served is different. Remember how to serve man? It's a cookbook.

01:39:54.132 --> 01:39:58.952
Well, you know they got this thing now called cell-cultured food.

01:39:59.552 --> 01:40:06.072
Cell-cultured food. What is that, Dave? Cell-cultured. Lab. Grown in a lab. Cell-cultured.

01:40:07.552 --> 01:40:14.972
So they just take one cell out of a cow and grow a whole cow in a lab. I mean, like four days.

01:40:16.732 --> 01:40:20.712
I don't know how they do it, but I know that daggone KFC, that KFC chicken ain't

01:40:20.712 --> 01:40:24.392
real chicken. It ain't real chicken. They've been sued, too.

01:40:25.172 --> 01:40:29.052
They didn't, they didn't court. They didn't court. KFC chicken ain't real chicken.

01:40:30.052 --> 01:40:35.172
They said, that's why it's KFC is no longer Kentucky Fried Chicken.

01:40:35.812 --> 01:40:39.812
It's got to go to KFC not selling real chicken. Right.

01:40:41.232 --> 01:40:45.412
Hold on. What you don't need it, y'all? So what y'all think they said?

01:40:50.172 --> 01:40:54.892
That culture, that genetically modified organisms.

01:40:55.952 --> 01:40:58.632
That's the secret recipe. So hold on a minute.

01:40:58.992 --> 01:41:02.292
Hold on a minute. Them trunks that they get out of their way.

01:41:02.312 --> 01:41:06.252
They have known all these trunks every week. I know you are.

01:41:09.812 --> 01:41:12.832
Man, they feed us what they want to feed us, man.

01:41:13.752 --> 01:41:21.052
Listen, how much land of the United States is owned by China? Hmm.

01:41:23.618 --> 01:41:27.238
New York? I don't know. We got to wait for Trump to get back to find out how

01:41:27.238 --> 01:41:29.098
much he even gave up. Right.

01:41:29.998 --> 01:41:35.498
But China, if you remember over the last 20 years, all your governors have been

01:41:35.498 --> 01:41:37.398
going to China on these good secret meetings.

01:41:37.638 --> 01:41:40.798
Remember the whole, what, 30 governors went over there? What are they doing?

01:41:41.198 --> 01:41:43.018
China can't grow no food, man.

01:41:44.078 --> 01:41:49.598
China can't grow no food. China has been cloning their food.

01:41:49.698 --> 01:41:51.018
They've been cloning tilapia.

01:41:51.218 --> 01:41:53.338
They've been cloning all kinds of fish.

01:41:53.618 --> 01:41:55.918
Right, and they're sending it to us.

01:41:56.298 --> 01:41:59.278
They've been, China has been calling since 1963.

01:42:00.998 --> 01:42:05.658
We talked to them, Dad. They don't understand, man. They've been treating us

01:42:05.658 --> 01:42:07.678
fake phones since the 60s.

01:42:08.972 --> 01:42:14.192
Your canned goods. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, back up. They've been feeding y'all

01:42:14.192 --> 01:42:16.012
fain fools since I ain't been around.

01:42:20.532 --> 01:42:22.452
All right. All right, John.

01:42:24.752 --> 01:42:28.512
Hey, young buck. I ain't been around.

01:42:30.212 --> 01:42:32.812
To young buck, yes, folks. He

01:42:32.812 --> 01:42:37.552
ain't been around since I ain't been feeding these fain fools since then.

01:42:41.292 --> 01:42:47.412
Did y'all see the movie Food for the Gods did you see the movie Food for the Gods,

01:42:50.092 --> 01:42:58.472
watch the giant rats the giant rats the giant chickens the giant cows and at the end of the movie,

01:42:59.712 --> 01:43:04.392
a jar was fell in the river and fell down the river to where the cows were feeding

01:43:04.392 --> 01:43:10.712
and then they showed you they milking the cows and And then the kids drinking

01:43:10.712 --> 01:43:13.792
the cow's milk, and that's how the movie went off.

01:43:14.912 --> 01:43:20.272
From the 70s. So now you got these 12-year-olds that look like they're 25.

01:43:21.732 --> 01:43:24.992
Huh? Huh? Same thing.

01:43:27.052 --> 01:43:30.372
Let it go. Let it go, Marge. Just let it go. Yeah.

01:43:36.292 --> 01:43:41.852
It's the truth, though. and then look what with all the S wallet man I got a

01:43:41.852 --> 01:43:43.572
couple of things around here,

01:43:44.252 --> 01:43:50.392
hey I'm out here we ain't got that much y'all have a blessed weekend we ain't

01:43:50.392 --> 01:43:55.692
got that much I'll have a weekend can I even stop talking I'm in the.

01:43:58.072 --> 01:44:05.012
I'm in Indiana and I'm doing the job and I'm retired so laughing,

01:44:07.387 --> 01:44:10.647
pray for me. God bless you. Love you. All right, brothers.

01:44:11.867 --> 01:44:14.907
As always, you know, man. We blessed.

01:44:15.747 --> 01:44:20.527
Thank you. Thank you. God bless you, Lord. Always. It's going to get better.

01:44:21.307 --> 01:44:24.687
I hope. After it get worse.

01:44:26.247 --> 01:44:29.007
You got it, too, man. Oh, don't say that. Don't say that.

01:44:30.467 --> 01:44:34.267
I said that this morning. I said that this morning. It's probably too soon.

01:44:36.367 --> 01:44:43.127
You say hey straight minds think alike I said I said,

01:44:43.767 --> 01:44:48.707
y'all this morning me and the dude was having a conversation we show work like

01:44:48.707 --> 01:44:54.087
we do every Friday and I said it can't get no worse as soon as I stuff foot

01:44:54.087 --> 01:44:57.007
on my bus it got real worse what,

01:44:57.967 --> 01:44:59.847
yeah that part,

01:45:01.827 --> 01:45:03.627
alright He's got his feet and all.

01:45:03.827 --> 01:45:06.267
He's got something new to come up. Yes.

01:45:08.727 --> 01:45:13.727
All right, gentlemen. Love you guys. Y'all have a sweet heart. You need to go down.

01:45:14.547 --> 01:45:17.647
Be blessed. Be blessed. Always.

01:45:21.167 --> 01:45:25.427
We have to figure out what's holding us back.

01:45:25.667 --> 01:45:31.867
The question was, what have you been holding on to that you know you need to let go of?

01:45:32.387 --> 01:45:36.187
It's something holding all of us back in some form or fashion,

01:45:36.347 --> 01:45:41.627
whether it's a relationship, whether it's work, whether it's whatever.

01:45:42.127 --> 01:45:47.227
We have to come to some point to where we let we walk away.

01:45:47.807 --> 01:45:53.787
I mean, Jamal, you said something a long time ago. How long do we let something

01:45:53.787 --> 01:45:58.507
hold us down before we step over it and walk away? I said that.

01:46:00.329 --> 01:46:03.989
Yeah that's what we've been doing,

01:46:04.769 --> 01:46:10.329
yeah I mean people do that that's what people do every day they hold on to stuff

01:46:10.329 --> 01:46:16.609
till death and then the people that they've been holding on and doing all the

01:46:16.609 --> 01:46:18.089
animosity and everything else,

01:46:18.609 --> 01:46:20.949
it eventually just erodes everything,

01:46:21.949 --> 01:46:23.189
I mean do you,

01:46:24.769 --> 01:46:26.049
how do I put this.

01:46:29.569 --> 01:46:32.409
How how how far am i willing

01:46:32.409 --> 01:46:41.349
to go for what i really want how long do you hold on to the animosity or the

01:46:41.349 --> 01:46:49.749
hurt quote-unquote hurt that somebody impeded on you before you say enough is enough.

01:46:51.634 --> 01:46:55.214
It's like the old saying, you drinking poison hoping they're going to die.

01:46:56.094 --> 01:46:57.414
You drinking the poison.

01:46:58.414 --> 01:47:01.474
They didn't give me that promotion at the job. They don't like me.

01:47:01.594 --> 01:47:03.674
But what are you doing to get that promotion?

01:47:03.994 --> 01:47:08.434
Are you working hard enough to be my wife been fighting all day long?

01:47:08.634 --> 01:47:10.154
She don't really whatever, whatever.

01:47:10.634 --> 01:47:14.854
But what did you do to try to fix the situation between you and your wife?

01:47:15.714 --> 01:47:20.314
Are you just going to let it linger and blame her?

01:47:21.174 --> 01:47:23.994
That relative you got that just you know

01:47:23.994 --> 01:47:26.934
ain't nothing you know they ain't they ain't worth a quote

01:47:26.934 --> 01:47:30.334
you know they ain't worth a quote how long

01:47:30.334 --> 01:47:33.374
do you i mean it's like uh dave said

01:47:33.374 --> 01:47:38.474
he's like i had this cousin he wasn't he wasn't about nothing wasn't worth nothing

01:47:38.474 --> 01:47:42.694
i told him hey man go on about your business you come around here after my mama

01:47:42.694 --> 01:47:48.554
died asking about her car but i ain't seen you in years but now all of a sudden

01:47:48.554 --> 01:47:50.974
here you are asking about my mama's car,

01:47:51.654 --> 01:47:56.374
where did you even come from I haven't seen you in years but all of a sudden

01:47:56.374 --> 01:48:00.194
now you pop up out the blue asking about my mama's car,

01:48:00.914 --> 01:48:04.614
man are you serious are you stupid or are you dumb,

01:48:06.254 --> 01:48:14.434
so you gotta wonder what is it in you that's making people think that that's okay.

01:48:16.120 --> 01:48:24.740
To start looking at ourselves. We got to start saying, okay, look, I done messed up.

01:48:25.120 --> 01:48:27.200
Let me see how I can fix this.

01:48:27.880 --> 01:48:34.140
Because you got to fix it. You can't keep holding on to, my mama wasn't,

01:48:34.280 --> 01:48:37.960
my daddy wasn't, they didn't give me this, so they didn't give me that.

01:48:38.520 --> 01:48:42.120
If them people dead and gone, then ain't nothing you can do about it.

01:48:42.200 --> 01:48:46.900
But if they still alive, a conversation can be Hey, conversation can be had.

01:48:47.320 --> 01:48:52.720
It may not come to resolve, but there's a conversation to be.

01:48:53.860 --> 01:49:02.380
That's a way of fixing it. And if you can't fix it, then you do the best you can with what you got.

01:49:04.381 --> 01:49:11.341
We can't keep torturing ourselves and holding on to they didn't do this or they

01:49:11.341 --> 01:49:16.061
didn't do that okay they didn't do it what are we going to do now,

01:49:16.741 --> 01:49:24.741
where are we going with this because we can't keep just killing ourselves because these people are gone,

01:49:25.661 --> 01:49:28.601
they ain't here they're not here,

01:49:29.381 --> 01:49:35.201
even if they even if they're not gone we do it with the people that are still

01:49:35.201 --> 01:49:41.081
living and while we're worried about it and stuck on it, they're sleeping like

01:49:41.081 --> 01:49:42.321
babies at home every day.

01:49:43.381 --> 01:49:47.741
They gave them a second thought and you're still holding on to it.

01:49:49.461 --> 01:49:52.721
So I don't mean, hey, I don't know.

01:49:54.321 --> 01:49:58.121
I've been thinking all night long since the conversation was about what do I

01:49:58.121 --> 01:50:01.081
need to let go that I've been holding on to for a while.

01:50:02.021 --> 01:50:08.341
I've been trying to figure out really what I've been holding on to that I really need to just let go.

01:50:11.921 --> 01:50:18.901
That's what I've been thinking it's a real question and it's something that we all need to ponder on,

01:50:20.041 --> 01:50:26.181
maybe maybe it's unanswered questions that keep us there yeah that's a good

01:50:26.181 --> 01:50:31.681
one Riley that's a good one it's a good one unanswered questions,

01:50:32.861 --> 01:50:35.461
I guess I just need to let go of,

01:50:37.161 --> 01:50:41.841
hope in mankind because I always think the world can be I always think the world

01:50:41.841 --> 01:50:47.781
is going to be better and it's going to fix itself I always think and you hit

01:50:47.781 --> 01:50:49.561
me with this all the time I always think that,

01:50:50.361 --> 01:50:52.681
people cannot continue being this stupid,

01:50:53.641 --> 01:50:58.341
there's no way people can still walk around being this stupid and that's the

01:50:58.341 --> 01:51:03.241
only way you can think of it you can't keep walking around with being blindfolded,

01:51:04.751 --> 01:51:09.851
wondering why you keep walking into a wall. But your hands ain't tied nothing.

01:51:09.871 --> 01:51:13.331
You just refuse to take the blindfold off because somebody told you not to.

01:51:17.691 --> 01:51:20.371
And just wondering why you just keep walking into that wall.

01:51:21.291 --> 01:51:23.951
You eventually get to the end of it and go around the corner,

01:51:24.191 --> 01:51:25.791
but then you hit another wall.

01:51:26.551 --> 01:51:31.331
But you just refuse to take the blindfold off. I have got to give up on and

01:51:31.331 --> 01:51:36.451
I know it's hard to say is just giving up on people being smarter than what they are.

01:51:37.291 --> 01:51:40.291
What you always tell me, I can't look stupid. No.

01:51:41.751 --> 01:51:47.411
But I always try to. Whether that be in my personal life, whether it be in my professional life.

01:51:48.411 --> 01:51:52.651
Fellas, we got to go. You see me try it in our professional life.

01:51:53.391 --> 01:51:56.251
You see that thing. You know I've tried it in our personal life.

01:51:56.431 --> 01:51:59.211
We got a brother that I just can't. Yeah.

01:51:59.991 --> 01:52:04.011
That's what I need to lay the world. Fellas, we out. It's about to go off.