Fatherhood, Community, and Growth: Inside The Kickback's One-Year Anniversary


Welcome to the one-year anniversary episode of The Kickback! Join us as we celebrate a year of impactful conversations with ordinary people doing extraordinary things. In this episode, we reflect on our journey, the lessons we've learned, and our ongoing mission to encourage well-being, mindful living, and community support.
We delve into the importance of 'Pray Until Something Happens' (PUSH) and the role of perseverance through adversity. Our discussion covers the significant events of the past year, including societal changes and personal growth stories. We also recount how we plan to continue fostering meaningful dialogues about life, love, marriage, and men's mental health.
Special guest Robert Taylor joins us to share updates on his initiatives, including the New Life Center and exciting partnerships for supporting fatherhood. Discover more about the successes and challenges of the past year, and stay tuned for what's next on our journey to make a difference in the world.
00:03 - One Year Anniversary Celebration
02:33 - Reflecting on the Past Year
15:12 - Expanding Fatherhood Initiatives
18:03 - New Partnerships and Collaborations
21:08 - Navigating Parenthood and Community
24:30 - The Importance of Mental Health
30:04 - Celebrating Success Stories
33:56 - Balancing Work and Family Life
45:29 - The Role of Education in Parenting
53:02 - Closing Thoughts and Final Words
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Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Kickback.
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I am the host, the dude, and as we do every Tuesday, we have a great conversation
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with an ordinary person doing extraordinary things in their lives,
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and today is no different.
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Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. This is our one-year anniversary,
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and we like to say thank you to all the listeners and everybody that's been
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here with us. One year of the kickback.
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Listen, man, it's been an amazing run and we are going to continue on having
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a tremendous, tremendous time here at the kickback, having some great,
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great things going on. We're going to have some amazing guests.
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We're going to do some recaps. We're going to have a lot of things going on.
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And we hope that you are here with us through this journey for another year of The Kickback.
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Tonight, we have, like I said, another extraordinary person doing extraordinary things in their lives.
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So I want to thank you again, like I said, for being here and being with us.
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The Kickback of the Blackboard.
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Music.
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A place for the kickback. Good afternoon, sir.
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And welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Dave, how you doing tonight, my brother?
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Doing very well, my brother. How about yourself? I'm doing fine, man.
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Listen, we are on our one year of the kickback, man. How does it feel to be
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at the one year mark of doing this, man?
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Man, I'll tell you what. That year, it went fast, but it was in-depth.
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It was a lot going on in this past year, and it was a blessing to be a part of it.
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Man, yes. Like you said, it's been a rollercoaster ride. It's been amazing.
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It's been event-filled. There's a lot of things that have happened in this world
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within politics, social media, entertainment.
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And there's a lot of things that have happened within a one year span of us
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doing this show and trying to be impactful in what we do when it comes to the
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community and having these intentional conversations about life,
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love, marriage and what's going on with men and people in general.
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You know, I'd like to say, listen, we are a platform for men,
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but in general, we are a platform for people and we are a platform for the world.
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And we are here to encourage well-being and mindful in people and understand
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that whatever it is you're going through is not going to be your final destination.
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It's just simply a learning place
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in life and in this particular point in life where you're at is a lesson and
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you just have to push through whatever the circumstances that you have going
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on in your life and make the best of it because life be life.
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Amen. Amen. I like what you said. Sometimes you just got to push through.
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You know the acronym PUSH stands for, right? No, enlighten us, man.
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Pray until something happens. Pray until something happens.
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I like that, man. I like pray until something happens.
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Because a lot of times when we're going through adversities, we're not praying.
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We're not thanking God for whatever the particular thing is,
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the particular lesson that we're learning.
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We're not praying about it we're usually worrying about
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it and a few days ago I was I
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was watching a few things and the guy talks about the
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gentleman that I was watching he was talking about how we have to push through
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no matter what it is whether it's good or it's bad we have to push through because
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our lesson and our blessing is on the other side of whatever the particular
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situation is that you're going through,
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the blessing is on the other side of it.
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But a lot of people give up in the midst of it and miss their blessing.
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That's it. And they don't get the lesson. That's the bad thing because when
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you don't get the lesson, you're going to end up making that mistake again.
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So you're going to be right back at that place down the road.
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Right. But a lot of people don't understand that because we've become such a
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microwave society that we're expecting things to happen so fast.
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And that's not always in God's timing.
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What you said. But a lot of people don't understand that lesson, man.
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But I'm just thankful that we're here for another year of these impactful conversations with people.
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And I'm hoping that we can get this gentleman in the building here pretty soon
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so we can have a recap conversation of how things have went for him in his life,
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because we're doing a series of retouching some of our past guests and just checking on them,
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doing a sort of like a callback, you know.
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Did you send them the link? I did send them the link.
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It's sort of like a callback, you know, just we're checking on you, you know,
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checking back in, seeing how your progress is, seeing how things are going in
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your life a year after we interviewed you the first time,
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because there was a lot of people we've interviewed over the period of time
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that we've been doing this show and just checking,
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just doing a callback, just seeing how life has changed, because a lot of people's
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lives have changed in a year's time.
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Yes, sir. A lot of a lot of forward progression has happened in my life.
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And I know a lot of a lot of different things have happened in your life in
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a year span since we started this.
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You know, I can particularly remember the day I approached you and I said,
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listen, God told me to choose you to be my partner, to run with me,
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to navigate this space that I'm in.
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And ever since then, it's been a joy.
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And I just want people to know that, listen, Dave does a lot on the backside
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that you guys don't know about.
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So I just want to say thank you, man. And I may be the voice behind the microphone
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that is having these intentional conversations with these people.
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But Dave is the gentleman that he is really the one of the working cogs that
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keeps the kickback going.
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And if you haven't already, go check out our website, the kickback dot one.
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If you have not already, go check that out. And you see that is a unique URL.
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We are different from everyone else because we are the one and only kickback.
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There are a lot of other organizations out here by the same name,
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and a lot of them have some great causes that they are involved in.
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And there are a lot of other shows and things of that nature with the same moniker,
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but none of them have the same skill and set that we have.
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It looks like he has entered the room.
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Mr. Taylor, come on up to the microphone.
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We are going to get you in the room so we can talk to you today.
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And Mr. Taylor how are you today sir Mr. Taylor,
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Yeah, I don't know what's going on. It looks like he's trying to get in the
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room, but we are going to get him in and we're going to have a great conversation, a recap.
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If you're speaking, I can't hear you. You can probably hear me.
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You may have to go out of the room and come back into the room.
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Sometimes we have some technical difficulties.
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Technology, it's good. You can hear me, but I can't hear you.
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So like I said, just go out of the room, just end it, and then come back.
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As a matter of fact, there we go.
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And come back into the room. Man, listen, I'll tell you what.
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We've had our bouts with this technology over this year, learning the equipment,
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learning all of the onsets that comes along with technology.
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It's it can be fun. It can be great.
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But sometimes it can be a headache. But we're not going to let it ruin.
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Great show that we have. And we're not going to. Mr. Taylor.
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OK, can you hear me now? I can hear you now, man. What's going on?
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I'm all right. How are you all doing this evening? We're doing fine,
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man. It is our one year anniversary.
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Wow. Congratulations. Thank you, sir. And you're part of the series.
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We just wanted to do a check back in.
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We just wanted to find out what is going on in Robert Taylor's life a year after
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we interviewed you the first time. And how's life? How's the kids?
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How's your organization?
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How is the school board?
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Man, that's a lot. Everything is going great for the most part.
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I mean, I don't have any complaints. You know, life is going really well.
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So, yeah, there's a lot of areas to kind of cover there. Let's start with school board, though.
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School board gets real hot and heavy through budget seasons,
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which runs through March of the year.
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And this year we had a pretty successful year academically for our students.
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And as a part of one of our priorities, we wanted to make sure that we were
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compensating our employees appropriately.
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And so a few years ago, the school board was able to make the step increases
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something that happens every year, that our employees just automatically get their step increases.
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However, the cost of living increases are something that we have to approve as a board.
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And so this year, even with all of the issues going on at the federal level
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with the Trump administration cutting the Department of Education and other
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funding opportunities and so forth,
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we were still able to provide our employees a 3% cost of living increase.
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And when you look at inflation, inflation is still only at about two and a half percent.
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And so we were able to beat inflation with our cost of living increase for our employees this year.
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So that's something that I was excited about being able to make happen.
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And then also there were some discussions that we had on the board floor about
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making sure that we're providing opportunities for all of our students,
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regardless of what their background is and so forth.
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And, you know, in Metro, I think that there's a belief that they can provide
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an education to every single student that comes into their door and provide it at a high level.
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And I think that parents have told us.
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That that isn't the case and that they've had experiences that say that,
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hey, you might provide a high quality education for the overwhelming majorities of students.
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But for my student, there's still some gaps and I'd like to figure out some of the options.
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And so those are some of the conversations that we've had during this year and
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that will continue through the year.
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So I'll pause there and see if he has other questions. Hey, man,
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listen, the Coke is what is it?
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The C-O-L-A, which is what you were talking about with the cost of living thing.
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Man, yeah. Thank you for that. People really needed that and deserve that.
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Because if you keep it with any industry, if you keep your employees happy,
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all the things will run well. All things will run well.
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And so, yes, we as taxpayers and parents of children that go to school,
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we appreciate all of the love and all of the things that you guys are doing
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to make sure that everyone is being properly compensated for their particular role in Metro.
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How's your organization going so
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for those that don't know i have a non-profit called the new
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life center and we provide parenting education workshops uh targeted primarily
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towards fathers now we also have uh workshops that we do for moms and grandmas
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aunts uncles pretty much anybody who's involved in the life of their children
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and so that particular um,
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nonprofit, most of our programs are going pretty well right now.
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We've had some additional opportunities to expand our newborn and infant care
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courses. We call that training camp for dads.
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And we actually have a partnership with Topgolf now where we can do the workshops
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at Topgolf that give us a bay to use for as long as we need.
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And we can have our workshops there with these new and expectant fathers and
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provide them with some food,
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some fun and then some some knowledge sharing amongst the guys on some of the
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best ways to to enter this new stage of life called fatherhood.
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And so that's one good thing we have going on.
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And then the other partnership that we've been able to develop,
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which has allowed us to expand our reach throughout the community,
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is with the NFL Alumni Association.
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And so this year we hosted our annual fatherhood festival in partnership with the NFL alums.
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And so for the past couple of years, we've probably had about,
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you know, 50 or 60 dads that will come out to our fatherhood festival.
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And this year we were able to have 300 dads and their families come out.
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They got to meet some of the old players.
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Michael Orr participated this year from the blind side.
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Destin McCluster played for the Titans, was there.
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And a couple of the older Titans came out to sign autographs and interact with the kids.
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And so we're going to be doing a series of workshops throughout the rest of
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this year where we invite those Titans to come out and provide their insight
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on what their fatherhood journey
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has been like as a part of a series of workshops that you provide today.
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Okay, so why? Here's my question and I didn't mean to just break into what you
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were saying. I love what you're saying but here's my question.
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Why the kickback did get an invite to this?
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Oh, man. And here's the thing. I have to ask David.
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Right, right, right. If I sent to him a text message.
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Here's the thing. Here's the thing. We on this show have interviewed an ex-football
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player and it is the number one show in our network.
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The number one show right now
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the number one download show for the kickback was a
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show with an ex-nfl nashville native
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born and raised been here all his life he's an ex-nfl player and it's our number
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one show we interviewed one yeah yeah that you charge it to your mind and not
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to heart for sure and know that this is our first year.
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And so we had a little bit of pressure to get it done a little more quickly than we've had to.
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We were able to receive some funding from the Tennessee Department of Health
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and the Tennessee Department of Human Resources.
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And that funding didn't come in until probably a month before we hosted the event.
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And so we had about 30 days to turn it around and
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get the word out to everybody so make sure
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that you all follow our pages too and
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so we're new life center 615 on instagram and
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facebook and and that'll be the best way to
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make sure that you get all the information 615 life
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center new life center 615 okay okay and i'm working on that as we speak new
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life center okay all right i got you.
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So here's the thing we are this is you are like i said before you are part of
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our one year and see what you you got something new going on within a year of
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us talking to you you have a new series going on with your organization.
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We are working tirelessly in the background to get us something going where
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we can do more support for situations like yours where it comes to fatherhood.
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Now, I ain't having no more children, and I don't think Dave is having any more
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children, but I would be willing to volunteer some of my wisdom being a father
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of five to a young man who is still you know
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new, it's a nuance and doing things of that nature.
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So we would love to collab with someone who's already in that space.
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And that was another reason why we reached out to you and wanted to find out
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what was going on with the New Life Center,
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because we are now in a space where we're trying to evolve and do a little more
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for the kickback in this wellness space.
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We've done a few interviews with women. Of course, we have been focused on men's
00:20:02.942 --> 00:20:06.822
mental health and having a safe haven for men to come and have true,
00:20:07.002 --> 00:20:09.022
transparent, and vulnerable conversations.
00:20:09.622 --> 00:20:15.422
And we think that our platform would help a lot of men have a place to where
00:20:15.422 --> 00:20:17.842
they could come and have some real conversations.
00:20:17.842 --> 00:20:23.202
If you didn't know, if you don't remember on Fridays, we do a two hour live
00:20:23.202 --> 00:20:27.002
show where men can come together and just bounce any questions,
00:20:27.222 --> 00:20:31.002
concerns or anything they have off of a bunch of men.
00:20:31.162 --> 00:20:34.522
So we just want to try to we're trying.
00:20:34.722 --> 00:20:40.462
We are a platform that is growing and I'm going to stop saying a small platform.
00:20:40.462 --> 00:20:42.342
We are a platform that's growing.
00:20:42.562 --> 00:20:50.342
We are at our one year mark. We have literally done 50 to 56 episodes because
00:20:50.342 --> 00:20:56.442
I've piled some in twice a week or I've done a couple of shows on the different days.
00:20:57.162 --> 00:21:02.522
But we've been consistent for 52 weeks at this thing.
00:21:02.622 --> 00:21:07.422
And we're just trying to evolve, if you can understand that.
00:21:08.422 --> 00:21:13.362
Oh, definitely. Definitely. And so since since didn't do a great job of getting
00:21:13.362 --> 00:21:14.882
that information out to you before,
00:21:15.242 --> 00:21:18.862
I want to let you know that one of the biggest things we have coming up before
00:21:18.862 --> 00:21:24.442
the end of this year is we have developed a documentary that it talks about
00:21:24.442 --> 00:21:27.322
black fatherhood, especially in Nashville.
00:21:28.022 --> 00:21:31.742
And that documentary will be released sometime in November.
00:21:32.122 --> 00:21:36.002
And so we're still working out the logistics of which theater we're going to be at.
00:21:36.202 --> 00:21:42.242
We're working with Belcourt and then the Regal Cinema at 100 Oaks to determine
00:21:42.242 --> 00:21:45.202
which one we'll be able to partner with. Okay.
00:21:45.602 --> 00:21:49.802
As soon as we get a date and time, you all will get that information and get
00:21:49.802 --> 00:21:51.802
the invite to come out and join us.
00:21:51.802 --> 00:21:54.902
We're going to have a viewing of the documentary and
00:21:54.902 --> 00:21:59.482
then a panel discussion with some of the key players that have participated
00:21:59.482 --> 00:22:04.002
and helped fund the documentary so that we can further this mission that we
00:22:04.002 --> 00:22:08.702
have to just help people understand how essential the role of fathers is in
00:22:08.702 --> 00:22:13.262
our society today and know about the ways that they can get engaged and involved
00:22:13.262 --> 00:22:14.502
in the programming that we do,
00:22:14.602 --> 00:22:17.522
as well as tips on how to be a better dad themselves.
00:22:18.325 --> 00:22:24.665
Hey, man, that is wonderful. And we would love to be a part of it because we
00:22:24.665 --> 00:22:28.965
we're like I said before, we're trying to evolve and get our names out so people
00:22:28.965 --> 00:22:30.305
can understand that, hey,
00:22:30.465 --> 00:22:34.965
you don't have to suffer in silence because a lot of men tend to suffer in silence
00:22:34.965 --> 00:22:41.365
and feel like they don't have a person that they can talk to or relate to.
00:22:41.365 --> 00:22:44.485
Because a lot of people feel like whatever they're going through,
00:22:44.845 --> 00:22:50.125
particularly men feel like whatever they're going through, they're going through
00:22:50.125 --> 00:22:51.705
and nobody else is going through it.
00:22:51.765 --> 00:22:56.185
But hey, there's a brother out here that's been through whatever it is that
00:22:56.185 --> 00:23:01.565
you've been through or you're going through and can help navigate and guide
00:23:01.565 --> 00:23:03.405
you to the other side of it.
00:23:03.485 --> 00:23:06.885
Because as long as you're breathing and God gives you the ability to get up
00:23:06.885 --> 00:23:09.505
every day, you will make it through it.
00:23:09.605 --> 00:23:12.305
Because right before you came on me and Dave
00:23:12.305 --> 00:23:16.405
was talking about pushing through adversity and knowing
00:23:16.405 --> 00:23:19.545
that your blessing and the lesson is on the other side
00:23:19.545 --> 00:23:24.765
of whatever your particular situation is but a lot of people tend to give up
00:23:24.765 --> 00:23:29.885
in the middle of adversities and and miss out on their blessings and their lessons
00:23:29.885 --> 00:23:36.905
yeah yeah no that's it so I think we can all work together on that and uh make
00:23:36.905 --> 00:23:39.225
this a stronger community as a team.
00:23:39.705 --> 00:23:42.645
And that's what we aim to do.
00:23:42.825 --> 00:23:47.245
We aim to make this community better because a little about me,
00:23:47.385 --> 00:23:48.805
I'm a fatherless father.
00:23:49.045 --> 00:23:54.505
And what that means is I grew up as a father, as a son without a father.
00:23:54.645 --> 00:23:56.425
My mother was the strongest man I knew.
00:23:56.605 --> 00:24:01.065
And then I became a father at 20 years old with no preparation,
00:24:01.065 --> 00:24:06.425
with no anything except what my motherhood taught me and the men that was before
00:24:06.425 --> 00:24:09.565
me, which they were, in my eyes, were great men.
00:24:09.565 --> 00:24:14.645
But as I got older and I started to understand manhood and fatherhood,
00:24:14.865 --> 00:24:20.985
they weren't great men. They were just great in my eyes because they were the closest things to me.
00:24:21.025 --> 00:24:26.705
But they were also God-fearing men who were just flawed, if you can understand
00:24:26.705 --> 00:24:29.125
what I mean. Yeah, like all of us.
00:24:30.065 --> 00:24:36.345
Exactly. They were just flawed and they were using the tools that they were
00:24:36.345 --> 00:24:40.185
equipped with to be men and to be fathers.
00:24:40.525 --> 00:24:43.925
And there is no guidebook. You know,
00:24:44.125 --> 00:24:50.245
every situation is unique, but none of them are so unique that there may be
00:24:50.245 --> 00:24:55.245
you may run into five men and two out of the three may have experienced the
00:24:55.245 --> 00:24:56.845
same thing that you've experienced.
00:24:57.365 --> 00:25:02.505
And it just may be a tad bit different. But there are so many similarities that
00:25:02.505 --> 00:25:03.945
they could help you through it.
00:25:04.025 --> 00:25:11.285
But you just got to be willing to be open for the the help. Yeah.
00:25:11.888 --> 00:25:16.788
So, yeah, that's it. It is. It is.
00:25:17.428 --> 00:25:21.508
Man, like I said, it's been a year. So you guys have started this new series
00:25:21.508 --> 00:25:24.668
with the NFL alumni program.
00:25:24.848 --> 00:25:27.888
What else do you guys have going on with the new Life Center?
00:25:28.448 --> 00:25:32.748
Yeah. So those are the main three things. We've expanded the newborn and infant
00:25:32.748 --> 00:25:37.168
classes, which is our training camp for dads and partnering with Topgolf.
00:25:37.168 --> 00:25:40.588
We have the series coming up with the NFL Alumni Association,
00:25:40.588 --> 00:25:46.168
and then we have the documentary that will be coming out by November at the end of the year.
00:25:46.588 --> 00:25:51.108
Now, another thing that just happened today is that there was a funding announcement,
00:25:51.328 --> 00:25:55.108
a federal funding announcement that was released today.
00:25:55.988 --> 00:26:01.148
And that funding has provided funding for fatherhood programs for the past over
00:26:01.148 --> 00:26:07.188
15 years now. It was the first large grant that I received in doing this work years ago.
00:26:07.508 --> 00:26:11.888
And so I'm going to be working on that. This Trump administration is making
00:26:11.888 --> 00:26:16.168
it very difficult for folks to receive grant funding.
00:26:16.508 --> 00:26:23.088
And so normally this announcement will come out in April and it will be due by the end of July.
00:26:23.368 --> 00:26:26.968
So it gives you time to put together a good, solid proposal,
00:26:27.248 --> 00:26:29.708
get all your partners to the table and all of that.
00:26:31.488 --> 00:26:38.648
We're working on it yeah this announcement came out today and is due on the
00:26:38.648 --> 00:26:41.768
29th of this month so we got 14 days,
00:26:42.708 --> 00:26:46.748
so put together pretty much like a 200 page document,
00:26:47.474 --> 00:26:52.154
that will explain how we plan to use, you know, potentially a million dollars
00:26:52.154 --> 00:26:54.894
worth of grant funding to support a father.
00:26:55.114 --> 00:27:00.194
So so you may not hear from me for the next two weeks just because I'll be buried.
00:27:03.694 --> 00:27:07.534
Listen, do you work? But here's the thing. Do you work?
00:27:07.694 --> 00:27:13.174
But if you get it, think about the kickback, because we we we are working on
00:27:13.174 --> 00:27:15.014
trying to get funding ourselves,
00:27:15.574 --> 00:27:19.294
you know to get our messaging I've already thought about it.
00:27:20.654 --> 00:27:23.394
I've already thought about it and one of
00:27:23.394 --> 00:27:26.874
the things that we've been able to do with this funding in the past is
00:27:26.874 --> 00:27:30.134
to support organizations like yours as
00:27:30.134 --> 00:27:34.074
far as getting the messaging out and almost kind
00:27:34.074 --> 00:27:39.794
of like paying for advertisement on your platform they have a funding formula
00:27:39.794 --> 00:27:44.394
that they use and so we just use that formula and once we get the funding And
00:27:44.394 --> 00:27:49.114
then I'll be reaching out to see how we can spend that money with you guys to
00:27:49.114 --> 00:27:53.574
be able to support you all as a partner and get the message out to the community.
00:27:53.954 --> 00:27:56.754
Yes, we would most definitely love that.
00:27:57.254 --> 00:28:01.154
Man, that is a blessing. Like I said, we're trying to elevate and we're trying
00:28:01.154 --> 00:28:07.674
to get this message out that as a man, you can still have a transparent conversation
00:28:07.674 --> 00:28:11.994
and be vulnerable at the same time and not be judged by your peers.
00:28:11.994 --> 00:28:16.614
Because over here at the Kickback, we are crying men. We're praying men.
00:28:16.834 --> 00:28:25.974
We are God-fearing men. So all of this masculinity and bravado,
00:28:26.054 --> 00:28:29.594
you can leave that at the door. We ain't got none of that over here.
00:28:30.054 --> 00:28:34.974
We praying, we fasting, we crying if that's what it takes because they were
00:28:34.974 --> 00:28:36.794
weeping saints. They were praying saints.
00:28:36.914 --> 00:28:40.854
And the disciples of God, they followed God and they did everything that it
00:28:40.854 --> 00:28:43.714
took to get to the other side.
00:28:44.074 --> 00:28:48.914
And that's what we're about. We're about the evolution of mankind.
00:28:49.414 --> 00:28:55.194
And all this negative masculinity is not called for here in this space.
00:28:55.374 --> 00:29:00.094
This is a space where you can be who you are to your core.
00:29:00.434 --> 00:29:06.134
Now, with that being said, I see that you have a couple of different followers.
00:29:06.314 --> 00:29:09.794
Now, last month, they had a show called Natural Men That Rock.
00:29:09.914 --> 00:29:11.134
Did you make it out to that show?
00:29:12.454 --> 00:29:15.414
No, I didn't Yeah,
00:29:15.574 --> 00:29:20.954
no, it's rough But I did not make it to that I didn't either,
00:29:20.974 --> 00:29:24.514
I had some prior family Again,
00:29:24.594 --> 00:29:33.334
I'm a father of five I had prior family arrangements that particular weekend Children,
00:29:34.114 --> 00:29:36.074
water park, resort.
00:29:37.902 --> 00:29:42.902
You understand what I'm saying? That was my plan that weekend.
00:29:43.202 --> 00:29:49.962
Although I wanted to be in that room with those men, some of the nominees and
00:29:49.962 --> 00:29:53.662
some of the people that got awards have also been on this show.
00:29:53.662 --> 00:30:01.062
So, yeah, that's why I said we've had a lot of very influential people on this
00:30:01.062 --> 00:30:03.882
show, but we just it's two of us.
00:30:04.022 --> 00:30:10.662
And before you came, I talked about Dave and how he is a very beautiful cog in this show.
00:30:10.902 --> 00:30:16.782
Me and him, we are the two people that do everything from advertising,
00:30:17.122 --> 00:30:23.142
from audio, from, you know, programming to guest relations. We do everything.
00:30:23.522 --> 00:30:29.182
So in that aspect, we we're paying for everything out of our pockets also.
00:30:29.602 --> 00:30:34.882
So that's why this year we're looking for some partnerships with some people
00:30:34.882 --> 00:30:38.862
to help us elevate to the next level.
00:30:39.142 --> 00:30:44.742
This is this platform was brought to you by God, not by the dude or Dave.
00:30:44.742 --> 00:30:48.262
It was brought to you by God because God put it up on my heart to say,
00:30:48.382 --> 00:30:54.342
first and foremost, I needed a platform to have transparent and vulnerable conversations
00:30:54.342 --> 00:30:58.122
because, like I said before, I'm a fatherless father.
00:30:58.342 --> 00:31:04.202
And there are a few struggles that I've went through in my marriage, in life.
00:31:04.542 --> 00:31:11.662
You know, I'm married to a beautiful woman. We are a blended family and I've
00:31:11.662 --> 00:31:13.082
been married a few times.
00:31:13.082 --> 00:31:18.202
And so, therefore, their struggles within that organization,
00:31:18.582 --> 00:31:23.702
let's just call it that, of marriage, being a blended family.
00:31:24.682 --> 00:31:27.202
There's a lot of moving parts.
00:31:27.522 --> 00:31:35.842
And us as men, we are kind of the catch-all for emotions and behaviors and all
00:31:35.842 --> 00:31:40.682
these things because we're looked at as the monarch of the family.
00:31:41.482 --> 00:31:44.662
So we're usually the person that's got to rear the
00:31:44.662 --> 00:31:47.462
children who's got to make the oh the floors need to
00:31:47.462 --> 00:31:50.142
be done okay you got to find somebody you got
00:31:50.142 --> 00:31:53.862
to figure out how to get that in the budget you got oh now the cars broke down
00:31:53.862 --> 00:31:58.102
so now you got to get that to a shop oh you can't your kid is acting up in school
00:31:58.102 --> 00:32:01.162
so now you got to go to this you got to take time from work you got to go to
00:32:01.162 --> 00:32:06.822
the school and you got to talk to the teacher so you you as a father and a man
00:32:06.822 --> 00:32:09.682
you understand the plights that happened with the father.
00:32:09.962 --> 00:32:16.322
And there are some men out here that don't have a sound board that
00:32:16.723 --> 00:32:20.103
to be able to voice, man, I really didn't like that,
00:32:20.203 --> 00:32:24.383
or this is how I feel, or I just need to take a breather off,
00:32:24.443 --> 00:32:29.723
or I just need to have a conversation with some men and just talk about sports,
00:32:29.743 --> 00:32:32.923
or let's talk about politics to a degree,
00:32:33.103 --> 00:32:37.883
or let's talk about jobs, or let's talk about men's health, because we've also
00:32:37.883 --> 00:32:39.983
had conversations about men's health.
00:32:40.903 --> 00:32:46.683
I just, well, last month, I had to go to the doctor and they had to look in
00:32:46.683 --> 00:32:54.023
me and I'm like getting older and these procedures have to do.
00:32:54.763 --> 00:32:56.303
You said look at me.
00:32:57.343 --> 00:33:00.703
Yeah, I'm going to leave it there. They had to.
00:33:01.303 --> 00:33:04.783
I think you're supposed to do it once you turn 45 now.
00:33:04.783 --> 00:33:08.383
So yes sir and that's where
00:33:08.383 --> 00:33:12.363
i'm at i'm at 45 so they had
00:33:12.363 --> 00:33:15.423
to look in me so yeah
00:33:15.423 --> 00:33:18.423
man i've i went through that
00:33:18.423 --> 00:33:22.563
and you know talking to some of the other fellas and they was like hey i'm i'm
00:33:22.563 --> 00:33:31.063
two times up i'm three times up i'm four times up and i'm like okay so yeah
00:33:31.063 --> 00:33:38.243
it is what it is but But you just you just grit your teeth and bear it.
00:33:38.443 --> 00:33:41.463
You grit your teeth and bear it and you move on. You push through the process.
00:33:41.683 --> 00:33:49.983
But in that process, I was thankful to have the ability to work at a job that
00:33:49.983 --> 00:33:56.923
provides reasonable insurance that covers those type of procedures.
00:33:56.923 --> 00:34:01.443
Because there are a lot of men out here working that don't have the proper insurance
00:34:01.443 --> 00:34:07.923
or was never taught that they need to take care of themselves in those manners.
00:34:09.163 --> 00:34:12.343
So we just you have to have
00:34:12.343 --> 00:34:19.183
the conversations with different groups to understand that health is wealth
00:34:19.183 --> 00:34:25.303
and that if you don't take care of yourself then how are you supposed to take
00:34:25.303 --> 00:34:30.743
care of your children how are you supposed to take care of yourself how are you supposed to lead,
00:34:31.823 --> 00:34:33.323
if you can't get up.
00:34:34.123 --> 00:34:37.843
Yep, that's it. I mean, part of being a good father is making sure that you're
00:34:37.843 --> 00:34:41.043
healthy so that you can be there for your kids.
00:34:41.263 --> 00:34:46.683
And so we believe wholeheartedly in men's health as a part of it.
00:34:46.803 --> 00:34:51.043
We've actually partnered with the Men's Health Network over the years to provide
00:34:51.043 --> 00:34:56.543
additional resources to dads on issues just like that and knowing when you're
00:34:56.543 --> 00:34:58.583
supposed to get different types of screenings,
00:34:59.502 --> 00:35:02.802
coverage so that you can get the screenings on time.
00:35:03.422 --> 00:35:07.562
And so, yeah, that's definitely important is making sure that we're taking care
00:35:07.562 --> 00:35:11.862
of our health and encouraging each other to do so, even when it might seem a
00:35:11.862 --> 00:35:13.302
little uncomfortable, I guess.
00:35:15.382 --> 00:35:22.202
Most definitely. Most definitely, man. So what you were talking about at the
00:35:22.202 --> 00:35:27.662
beginning, how Metro is doing better academically.
00:35:28.762 --> 00:35:33.522
Is that because I know before we talked, you were talking about last year,
00:35:33.682 --> 00:35:40.982
you were talking about academics and fathers being more involved in PTA and things of that nature.
00:35:41.222 --> 00:35:46.382
Have you seen an improvement in those areas over this last past year,
00:35:46.602 --> 00:35:50.922
knowing that that was your campaign last year when I talked to you?
00:35:50.922 --> 00:35:57.642
It was more about trying to get fathers more involved in the educations of their
00:35:57.642 --> 00:35:59.962
children. Has there been an improvement?
00:36:00.582 --> 00:36:06.722
So I wouldn't say there's been an improvement, but there is a plan in place.
00:36:06.922 --> 00:36:13.862
And so there's a staff person that is assigned to work on that with me over this upcoming year.
00:36:13.862 --> 00:36:18.582
And so we've actually identified every school that I'm responsible for in my
00:36:18.582 --> 00:36:25.442
district and who the parent is that will take the lead on starting a PTO or PTA.
00:36:25.822 --> 00:36:31.542
And we have men that are stepping up to be the presidents of the PTOs and PTAs in the school.
00:36:31.542 --> 00:36:37.422
And so this upcoming fall, we're going to meet with all of the parents that
00:36:37.422 --> 00:36:42.762
have agreed to do this role and just provide them with kind of like a one on
00:36:42.762 --> 00:36:45.562
one on how to establish the organization,
00:36:45.942 --> 00:36:51.302
how to set up the bank account and how to do everything in a legal way so that
00:36:51.302 --> 00:36:56.602
the organization can run even after their child leaves the school and be able
00:36:56.602 --> 00:36:59.662
to bring in the next group of parents to continue the organization.
00:36:59.662 --> 00:37:05.642
When we realized through this process of planning, I have over 30 schools in my district.
00:37:06.425 --> 00:37:12.445
And out of those 30 schools, only four of them had some type of parent or school
00:37:12.445 --> 00:37:18.605
support organization in place that could raise funds to support the academic environment.
00:37:18.905 --> 00:37:23.725
And so my goal is to make sure that every single school in my district has an
00:37:23.725 --> 00:37:27.585
organization in place before my four-year term is up.
00:37:28.245 --> 00:37:33.185
Hey, that's wonderful. And from what I understand, you're like Weiss Creek,
00:37:33.425 --> 00:37:35.685
Hunter's Name, Nick Wood.
00:37:36.425 --> 00:37:40.265
Is Maplewood and Stafford also in your district? I have Maplewood and East,
00:37:40.305 --> 00:37:45.825
and then some of the families that attend Stafford live in my district. Okay, okay.
00:37:46.405 --> 00:37:48.585
So that's like my district.
00:37:49.485 --> 00:37:52.765
One of my kids graduated from Hunter's Lane.
00:37:53.085 --> 00:37:59.665
Another one of my children graduated from KIPP Academy.
00:38:00.485 --> 00:38:09.345
And one of my children graduated from Pearl Cone. that Metro is getting better.
00:38:09.725 --> 00:38:13.325
There are still a few things that probably could still be worked on,
00:38:13.485 --> 00:38:18.825
but I'm glad to hear because somebody I talked to were talking about what happened
00:38:18.825 --> 00:38:23.965
to the days of the PTA and why they no longer existed.
00:38:24.645 --> 00:38:29.265
It was one of my Friday night panel conversations, and they were talking about
00:38:29.265 --> 00:38:36.505
parents being accountable for their children's education, and how we don't have PTAs anymore.
00:38:36.745 --> 00:38:41.145
So it's a wonderful thing to hear that we're bringing them back.
00:38:41.645 --> 00:38:47.065
Yes, definitely. And because it's important to make sure that we have those
00:38:47.065 --> 00:38:51.845
organizations, not just for getting parents together, for getting together's sake.
00:38:52.553 --> 00:38:58.793
The mission is to provide financial support to the school and to make sure that
00:38:58.793 --> 00:39:03.853
they have all of the additional resources that we know improve the academic
00:39:03.853 --> 00:39:05.033
outcomes for our children.
00:39:05.273 --> 00:39:10.133
And so that's why we want to have the PTO and the PTAs at the schools so that
00:39:10.133 --> 00:39:15.253
you have a legal organization that can reach out to their networks and raise funds to support.
00:39:15.353 --> 00:39:17.773
My kids have gone to Aiken Elementary School.
00:39:17.953 --> 00:39:19.653
I've had a child there for the past
00:39:19.653 --> 00:39:28.613
17 years, and their PTO raises minimum $80,000 a year for their school.
00:39:28.853 --> 00:39:35.933
Now, I'm not expecting that to happen at every school in my district right away, but over time,
00:39:36.133 --> 00:39:42.173
as you develop these PTOs and get them running smoothly and set up the organization
00:39:42.173 --> 00:39:47.353
to continue on regardless of who's running it, you're going to be able to raise
00:39:47.353 --> 00:39:49.833
that type of money, which goes a long way.
00:39:50.173 --> 00:39:53.813
Aiken uses their money to provide supplemental educators in the building.
00:39:54.013 --> 00:40:02.013
So the district may not be able to afford to pay for an arts teacher as well as a language teacher.
00:40:02.253 --> 00:40:07.313
And Aiken will pay for both because they have the additional funding from the PTO.
00:40:08.473 --> 00:40:12.233
And that's what's needed for
00:40:12.233 --> 00:40:17.433
them to stand alone and be able to support their community in that form.
00:40:17.673 --> 00:40:22.553
And that also empowers the people when they have an organization like a PTA
00:40:22.553 --> 00:40:31.593
or PTO that can support their children at that level, because it came from you all.
00:40:31.773 --> 00:40:34.653
It didn't come from the state. It didn't come from the government.
00:40:34.653 --> 00:40:41.073
It came from a controlled effort amongst the people. And so you're empowering
00:40:41.073 --> 00:40:45.273
people to take control of their children's education. That's wonderful.
00:40:46.013 --> 00:40:52.213
Exactly. That's it, man. And that is that we need, like I said, we need more of that.
00:40:52.353 --> 00:40:56.173
And let's hope this fall, when you all have your meeting, you have a wonderful
00:40:56.173 --> 00:41:04.033
outcome and turnout of people who are ready to control their environment just a little bit more,
00:41:04.153 --> 00:41:07.593
because like you said, more parents involvement,
00:41:08.133 --> 00:41:11.713
more community involvement, it, the better the education will be.
00:41:11.893 --> 00:41:17.113
And so now if you're taking parts in things of that nature, you can't just particularly
00:41:17.113 --> 00:41:24.093
blame it on the schooling because now you have an invested interest in what's
00:41:24.093 --> 00:41:25.913
actually going on with your child.
00:41:26.473 --> 00:41:29.553
Yeah, it's about creating a partnership for education. I mean,
00:41:30.193 --> 00:41:34.793
you know, I think oftentimes we've seen that there's sometimes been an adversarial
00:41:34.793 --> 00:41:39.293
relationship between the schools, the administrators, and the parents sometimes.
00:41:39.573 --> 00:41:43.393
And that's not the way it should be. I think that, you know,
00:41:43.693 --> 00:41:50.613
for me, I recognize that my child's education is 100 percent my responsibility as a parent.
00:41:51.266 --> 00:41:55.826
And the school system, the public school system, is one of the tools that I
00:41:55.826 --> 00:41:58.666
have at my disposal to educate my child.
00:41:58.986 --> 00:42:04.326
And so I want to make sure that I'm a partner with that school so that I can
00:42:04.326 --> 00:42:08.246
ensure that they're getting my child what they need to receive the education
00:42:08.246 --> 00:42:09.626
that I believe my child deserves.
00:42:10.086 --> 00:42:13.986
Now, if that doesn't happen, I want to work with the school to figure out,
00:42:14.246 --> 00:42:18.306
well, how can I support you guys to make sure that my kid gets what they need?
00:42:18.306 --> 00:42:23.286
And I think that that's the spirit of the PTO and the PTA that I want to make
00:42:23.286 --> 00:42:27.426
sure we have in our district so that we can create genuine partnerships so that
00:42:27.426 --> 00:42:29.126
our kids can get exactly what they need.
00:42:29.926 --> 00:42:33.946
Yeah, yeah. I mean, in a real world, that sounds wonderful, but you know,
00:42:34.046 --> 00:42:41.806
there's a large percent of parents out here that feels like because I sent my child to school,
00:42:42.006 --> 00:42:46.446
you're supposed to teach them how to potty, how to eat, how to speak, how to think,
00:42:46.826 --> 00:42:51.746
how to behave on the bus, how to be a productive citizen.
00:42:52.146 --> 00:42:53.746
Well, it's a partnership.
00:42:54.306 --> 00:42:58.026
Yep, that's it. It's a partnership, like you said.
00:42:58.026 --> 00:43:04.706
I mean, you've got to do your part as a parent to teach your children the core,
00:43:04.706 --> 00:43:08.126
the core things of being a productive citizen.
00:43:08.126 --> 00:43:15.586
We're just adding to that with a learning curriculum that helps them understand
00:43:15.586 --> 00:43:22.906
and how to read and add and do all those things. But we're supposed to teach them how to party.
00:43:25.126 --> 00:43:31.906
Yeah, I think oftentimes we we rely too heavily on the school system for everything.
00:43:32.066 --> 00:43:36.026
I mean, you know, I went to school last year and I mean, they're installing
00:43:36.026 --> 00:43:41.226
washers and dryers and washing the kids clothes for them and all this type of
00:43:41.226 --> 00:43:43.406
stuff. And I'm like, where does it end?
00:43:43.948 --> 00:43:46.888
I mean, at a certain point, we're going to turn into boarding schools and just
00:43:46.888 --> 00:43:50.588
take over the whole responsibility of raising the kids for them.
00:43:50.708 --> 00:43:53.208
And I just I don't know that that's sustainable.
00:43:53.488 --> 00:43:57.448
And I think that we have to shift the dialogue to help the community understand
00:43:57.448 --> 00:44:02.248
that, hey, parents, this is a partnership and we need you to be fully engaged
00:44:02.248 --> 00:44:03.528
in your child's education.
00:44:03.988 --> 00:44:07.468
And it's not that difficult. Here are some simple ways to make it happen.
00:44:08.048 --> 00:44:11.408
And we're open to you all coming to the schools, being a part of it.
00:44:11.568 --> 00:44:16.228
And because I think it is going to take some conversation with the administrators
00:44:16.228 --> 00:44:20.968
and the teachers in the schools to help them recognize that there's going to be a shift as well.
00:44:21.188 --> 00:44:26.068
So where we want the parents to be welcomed and be a part of the process.
00:44:26.348 --> 00:44:30.868
So I'm looking forward to being a champion for that while I'm on the school
00:44:30.868 --> 00:44:34.168
board and and even after my time ends.
00:44:34.168 --> 00:44:37.188
Man listen it is wonderful but
00:44:37.188 --> 00:44:40.028
it sounds like we're gonna have to take it back to the basics and just
00:44:40.028 --> 00:44:43.728
start have parenting classes all over again for everybody
00:44:43.728 --> 00:44:47.448
not just new fathers we're gonna have to start having parenting classes for
00:44:47.448 --> 00:44:50.028
everybody listen this is what you're supposed to do you're supposed to feed
00:44:50.028 --> 00:44:54.208
this child you're supposed to wash their clothes look on their hair you know
00:44:54.208 --> 00:45:01.468
just it's like we're getting away from the basics the basic life necessities And these parents,
00:45:01.728 --> 00:45:06.008
and it's not all parents, it's not all, and the percentage is probably smaller,
00:45:06.168 --> 00:45:09.968
smaller than we think, but in our minds, it's a little bit bigger.
00:45:10.208 --> 00:45:15.288
But understanding that in order for them to be productive citizens,
00:45:15.288 --> 00:45:21.688
you're going to have to involve yourself in some particular part of their growth
00:45:21.688 --> 00:45:28.748
and understand that we are just a tool to help you. Yep, that's it.
00:45:29.448 --> 00:45:36.248
So what about the, you were doing something with the Department of Health. How is that going?
00:45:36.508 --> 00:45:41.428
So the program that we were doing with the Department of Health was that newborn
00:45:41.428 --> 00:45:44.628
and infant care course that we provide.
00:45:44.628 --> 00:45:50.248
So they have a program called Nashville Strong Babies, which is the maternal
00:45:50.248 --> 00:45:54.308
child health program and that they provide through the Federal Healthy Start Grant.
00:45:54.308 --> 00:46:00.268
And so that program is a home visiting program where they send a nurse to an
00:46:00.268 --> 00:46:04.448
expectant mom's house to do all of her prenatal appointments for her.
00:46:04.928 --> 00:46:07.888
And for many years, they weren't engaged in the fathers.
00:46:07.888 --> 00:46:13.448
And so the role that I play is to engage fathers in the process to help dads
00:46:13.448 --> 00:46:17.668
understand their importance during pregnancy, during delivery,
00:46:17.748 --> 00:46:19.968
and then immediately postpartum as well.
00:46:20.168 --> 00:46:24.788
And I understand the role that they can play and how they can get involved in
00:46:24.788 --> 00:46:29.388
each one of those stages to support a healthy childbirth for mom and baby.
00:46:30.183 --> 00:46:33.723
Man, that is that is why that that's that's amazing.
00:46:33.923 --> 00:46:38.443
And it's great because you like you said, a lot of the times the fathers are being left out.
00:46:38.743 --> 00:46:42.883
Me being the person I am, sometimes people call me an alien.
00:46:43.103 --> 00:46:45.643
Sometimes people call me superhuman or whatever.
00:46:46.103 --> 00:46:50.263
But the best thing and I just had this conversation a few days ago,
00:46:50.363 --> 00:46:56.803
the best thing that ever my father ever done for me was not be in my life because
00:46:56.803 --> 00:46:59.843
I was I was a really good father.
00:47:00.183 --> 00:47:06.523
My two youngest children, which are 14 and 9, when they were born,
00:47:06.903 --> 00:47:08.883
their mom was so squamish.
00:47:08.883 --> 00:47:13.563
She went to the first doctor's appointment after they were born when the babies
00:47:13.563 --> 00:47:16.143
got their shots and she cried and she hooped and hollered.
00:47:16.943 --> 00:47:21.003
And after that, she never went to a doctor's appointment again.
00:47:21.003 --> 00:47:26.503
So like when their pediatric doctor changed and she had the second one,
00:47:26.683 --> 00:47:28.283
she didn't even go to the first appointment.
00:47:28.283 --> 00:47:36.303
I went to every doctor's appointments my small children went to so much that
00:47:36.303 --> 00:47:42.863
the people at the doctor's office thought I was a single father and they had never met their mom.
00:47:43.103 --> 00:47:49.203
And the first time she ever really started taking them to the doctor was when
00:47:49.203 --> 00:47:56.603
we divorced and she moved to a whole nother city and started taking them to the doctor then.
00:47:56.603 --> 00:48:02.823
But in Nashville, the doctors that we went to, the dentist, all those different
00:48:02.823 --> 00:48:04.623
things, they only knew me.
00:48:04.783 --> 00:48:06.983
They never knew that my children's mom.
00:48:07.523 --> 00:48:13.723
And that was just one of those things I always wanted to do as a father is be
00:48:13.723 --> 00:48:19.003
more intentional and be more in touch with those particular areas of my children's life.
00:48:19.243 --> 00:48:23.963
So, yes, it can be done, dads. You can do it. You can be the champion.
00:48:24.944 --> 00:48:28.424
Amen. Amen. Yeah, it is.
00:48:28.544 --> 00:48:35.264
It is. But a lot of men are subjected to, well, I got to work. I got to pay the bills.
00:48:35.384 --> 00:48:40.564
I got to do this. I got to do that. But those children are just imperative and
00:48:40.564 --> 00:48:45.164
important as you're going to work because their health is just as important
00:48:45.164 --> 00:48:48.724
as that job, if not even more important.
00:48:48.944 --> 00:48:53.024
At least to me, it was it was it was having healthy children.
00:48:53.264 --> 00:48:59.164
The blessings that God gave me was so important that I had to make sure they
00:48:59.164 --> 00:49:02.024
were they were healthy, you know, good teeth.
00:49:02.144 --> 00:49:05.604
I don't want my kids running around these raggedy teeth in their mouth.
00:49:05.604 --> 00:49:09.704
I didn't want my kids running around and they didn't nobody knew what was wrong
00:49:09.704 --> 00:49:11.384
with. They got it. Oh, their nose is running.
00:49:12.024 --> 00:49:14.664
Just wipe it off. Just give them some romantussin. Because, you know,
00:49:14.804 --> 00:49:19.244
that's what our parents did back in the day is they just filled us full of cough
00:49:19.244 --> 00:49:21.224
medicine and said it was OK.
00:49:21.564 --> 00:49:28.464
But there's so much going around. You just got to make sure that your babies are taken care of.
00:49:29.584 --> 00:49:35.624
No, I'm not full of green with you, brother. Yeah. So Department of Health,
00:49:36.204 --> 00:49:43.644
New Life Center, Education Board of the Board of Education.
00:49:43.764 --> 00:49:45.764
Man, you are a busy man.
00:49:46.064 --> 00:49:54.524
How do you balance all of this and still able to have a successful home life?
00:49:55.264 --> 00:49:59.744
Yeah. So I try to incorporate the things that I do with my kids into all of
00:49:59.744 --> 00:50:00.684
these other activities.
00:50:01.564 --> 00:50:07.784
And then I also set some boundaries. I set my calendar up and I had all of my
00:50:07.784 --> 00:50:09.224
kids' activities on there first.
00:50:09.844 --> 00:50:14.304
And if there's ever a conflict, you know, there's really no conflict for me.
00:50:14.504 --> 00:50:17.224
I'm going to be at my children's events and activities first.
00:50:17.224 --> 00:50:19.624
And so people have recognized that and they know.
00:50:20.264 --> 00:50:24.964
But, you know, I try to do everything I can to be involved in my kids' lives.
00:50:25.604 --> 00:50:30.044
I can give you examples for all seven of them. My oldest daughter just graduated
00:50:30.044 --> 00:50:34.004
from Fisk, which is my alma mater, my wife's alma mater also.
00:50:34.564 --> 00:50:38.724
Congratulations. your friends. Yeah, thank you. And so we were very excited
00:50:38.724 --> 00:50:40.124
about that to celebrate it.
00:50:40.284 --> 00:50:44.784
But then I also had another daughter graduating from high school that same weekend.
00:50:45.224 --> 00:50:52.424
And so we had to make time and plan it out to make sure that we had a graduation party for my oldest.
00:50:52.744 --> 00:50:57.884
And then my next daughter, she wanted to do a joint graduation party with her
00:50:57.884 --> 00:51:02.804
friends. And so we put that together and made that happen for her.
00:51:02.944 --> 00:51:06.284
And then my son, he's at TSU.
00:51:06.504 --> 00:51:10.584
He'll be a sophomore in the football field and a junior year.
00:51:11.252 --> 00:51:17.592
In the classroom, but he is enjoying himself, made the dean's list this year,
00:51:17.732 --> 00:51:26.052
and now just today actually it came out that he's on the OVC players to watch list for this season.
00:51:26.332 --> 00:51:32.652
So just making sure that we support him and show up for him at his games and things like that,
00:51:32.772 --> 00:51:38.272
and make sure that he's doing his own work so that he can get the grades that
00:51:38.272 --> 00:51:41.472
he needs to be successful in graduating that tissue.
00:51:42.372 --> 00:51:46.672
And so then my daughter who graduated from high school will also be going to Fisk.
00:51:46.872 --> 00:51:54.032
So tomorrow I will be at orientation with her at Fisk and figuring out everything
00:51:54.032 --> 00:51:58.372
we need to do to make sure that she gets into the dorm and is taking the right
00:51:58.372 --> 00:52:01.532
classes and has her advisor set and all of that good stuff.
00:52:02.212 --> 00:52:09.372
And then I have two other daughters after them or three other daughters after them.
00:52:10.032 --> 00:52:11.532
And one of those daughters is
00:52:11.532 --> 00:52:15.032
a camp counselor this year. So we're making sure she's getting the camp.
00:52:15.192 --> 00:52:19.912
She's getting a little paycheck from it. And then my next daughter is doing gymnastics.
00:52:20.192 --> 00:52:24.612
So we get her to gymnastics and she's having a good time with that.
00:52:24.772 --> 00:52:28.772
And then my last daughter, she just started a new camp this week.
00:52:28.912 --> 00:52:31.032
She's doing a Verizon camp at TSU.
00:52:31.512 --> 00:52:36.352
And so because we have so many kids, they have participated in different programs
00:52:36.352 --> 00:52:41.992
throughout the years that we kind of know which programs we want to get the kids into,
00:52:42.152 --> 00:52:45.612
which ones are free versus which ones that we'd have to, you know,
00:52:45.772 --> 00:52:47.092
kind of budget for and whatnot.
00:52:47.392 --> 00:52:52.872
But we kind of got a rhythm going, and we make sure that the kids get to all
00:52:52.872 --> 00:52:57.532
of the different programs and have extra opportunities to learn during the summer
00:52:57.532 --> 00:53:00.152
and then get ready for school year again.
00:53:02.492 --> 00:53:09.092
Man, that sounds like a chaotic orchestra, but you all know the tempo.
00:53:09.632 --> 00:53:14.672
You all know the tempo and you all know how to keep all the instruments playing
00:53:14.672 --> 00:53:17.432
and all of the performers happy.
00:53:17.712 --> 00:53:20.252
It sounds like, like you said, you set boundaries.
00:53:21.092 --> 00:53:26.292
You have made it known for your job and all the people around you that,
00:53:26.372 --> 00:53:28.872
hey, my children are a priority.
00:53:28.872 --> 00:53:31.712
I have seven of them I have to make sure
00:53:31.712 --> 00:53:34.912
I give all of them The adequate amount of time
00:53:34.912 --> 00:53:38.272
And understanding That they need Because
00:53:38.272 --> 00:53:45.612
listen This world wouldn't be what it is Without fathers So we have to put boundaries
00:53:45.612 --> 00:53:51.192
up We have to make sure That we give them the adequate space They need to grow
00:53:51.192 --> 00:53:57.152
And the understanding to know That hey if you step out of line I'll still whoop your behind,
00:53:57.938 --> 00:54:01.218
Yeah. Well, now you said that.
00:54:02.038 --> 00:54:06.278
I'm going to tell you, when we do our parenting classes, we teach our dads.
00:54:06.858 --> 00:54:10.578
And I know you're just using a figure of speech, but we teach our dads how to
00:54:10.578 --> 00:54:12.738
discipline without corporal punishment.
00:54:13.938 --> 00:54:22.578
Understandably. cry myself on is because i used to be i used to wolf my kids right i mean my oldest,
00:54:23.398 --> 00:54:26.938
younger siblings and y'all don't even know right
00:54:26.938 --> 00:54:29.698
but see
00:54:29.698 --> 00:54:34.938
the thing is corporate punishment you don't but see getting whooping your behind
00:54:34.938 --> 00:54:39.018
does not always mean you got to put a belt to them you can take away things
00:54:39.018 --> 00:54:42.818
you can do all these different because i've learned with my smaller children
00:54:42.818 --> 00:54:47.178
that I don't have to physically do anything to them.
00:54:47.298 --> 00:54:53.818
If I take away their privileges, they're more hurt by me taking away their privileges
00:54:53.818 --> 00:54:57.738
than me actually physically doing anything to them.
00:54:57.918 --> 00:55:03.178
My nine-year-old, if I take away her tablet, her phone, her remote control,
00:55:03.178 --> 00:55:08.838
and I make her sit still and have a conversation with me, she loses her mind
00:55:08.838 --> 00:55:11.478
because I can't get on my phone. I can't play my games.
00:55:11.578 --> 00:55:15.658
I can't do this. So now she's at a crossroad where she's like,
00:55:16.198 --> 00:55:18.418
Dad, can you just spank me?
00:55:18.518 --> 00:55:20.838
And I'm like, no, that doesn't work.
00:55:21.138 --> 00:55:25.418
That's not where we're going with this. I need you to have an understanding
00:55:25.418 --> 00:55:32.118
of what you've done, and this is the consequences behind your actions.
00:55:33.119 --> 00:55:36.879
Yep. That's it. That's it. And so that's what we teach our dads to,
00:55:37.099 --> 00:55:41.959
just to make sure that they understand that there are other ways to discipline your kids.
00:55:42.979 --> 00:55:48.899
And you'll have better outcomes long term. I think about the relationship I have with my son now.
00:55:49.179 --> 00:55:54.339
I wouldn't have had that relationship if I had continued to discipline him the
00:55:54.339 --> 00:55:58.039
way I was trying to, because it was the way that I was disciplined. Yes.
00:55:58.719 --> 00:56:03.299
And I think about, you know, how that affected the relationship that I had with my dad.
00:56:03.799 --> 00:56:07.779
And and, you know, we've reconciled and all of that.
00:56:08.039 --> 00:56:13.679
But it just it wasn't an environment that I wanted to to grow up in.
00:56:14.019 --> 00:56:18.899
And and so, you know, once I, you know, recognize that there were other ways
00:56:18.899 --> 00:56:25.599
to just play my son and apologize to him for not getting it right for for many years and shifted.
00:56:26.199 --> 00:56:30.619
Now, I mean, we have a great relationship. It's almost like we're brothers,
00:56:30.799 --> 00:56:35.159
even though at the end of the day, he still knows that I'm the top dog.
00:56:35.959 --> 00:56:41.339
That's it. Even though now, look, he's got all big playing football.
00:56:41.539 --> 00:56:47.359
He's about 6'3 now, 2'30", and want to try and test me a little bit every night.
00:56:47.479 --> 00:56:50.619
He walked through the house trying to bump into me a little bit every night,
00:56:50.619 --> 00:56:55.819
I mean, and I had to let them know I'm still I still got that grown man strength to put on this.
00:56:56.479 --> 00:56:58.619
I'm still the top dog.
00:57:00.439 --> 00:57:06.139
Man, listen, it was amazing. I love catching up with you. What is it? New Life Center.
00:57:07.039 --> 00:57:11.499
What else do you want to give the people before we go?
00:57:11.659 --> 00:57:16.799
Because we've reached the hour and I know, like you said, you got boundaries
00:57:16.799 --> 00:57:20.519
and you have you have an orchestra. you have to orchestrate and you have things
00:57:20.519 --> 00:57:22.859
you have to do. We appreciate you being here.
00:57:23.179 --> 00:57:28.979
Is there anything you want to say, talk about, or tell the people real quick before we leave?
00:57:29.499 --> 00:57:33.739
I just want to make sure people have the information to access the New Life Center.