Dancing Through Darkness: Community, Courage, and a New Beginning

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All righty, everybody. Welcome to another episode of The Kickback. I am your host, The Dude.

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As we do, we do interviews with ordinary people doing extraordinary things in their lives.

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Tonight is no different from any other interview we do.

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We have an extraordinary young man that has been doing some extraordinary things

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in his life. Everybody, welcome to the platform.

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Brother Jalen Henry, what's up, beautiful people? What's up?

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What's up? All right. What's up, guys?

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Go for it. Tell us who you are, what you do, where you from.

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So, well, can't wait to do such. I am 28 years young, originally born in Killeen, Fort Hood, Texas.

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Got transplanted here by the grace of God. And, you know, through all that, I've been able to.

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Grow at a rapid rate, you know, coming from a small town of six siblings,

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being the oldest, coming from a single parent household.

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I'm pretty sure my story looks similar, my come up story looks similar to other

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people, but it's not limited to the regular struggles of a single parent's household.

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You know, I've been through addiction, substance misuse. You know,

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I've been with the land gangbanging.

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You know, I've been to jail. And by the grace of God, I've been able to grow past those things.

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And it's ultimately brought me here into Nashville.

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And it's revealed a side of me. Nashville has revealed a side of me that I've

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always knew that was there.

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But I now finally have the opportunity to cultivate. and I'm doing such by really

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tapping into my spirit, man, and what it means to be an entrepreneur and be a multifaceted.

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And I'm able to do these things here in this space, like teach dance,

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after school program. I started a nonprofit called Recovery For You that reflects

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my ministry and my story of substance misuse.

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I sing, I use my voice to minister, to sing, and connect with people as Jesus

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would do, I like to think.

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And I'm constantly, you know, pursuing and broadening my understanding of spirituality

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and what it means to the God-man of it all.

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And, yeah, I'm here for this opportunity to expand on a lot of those things,

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man. All right. I'm excited.

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So, like you said, you are an implant. Welcome to Nashville.

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How long have you been in Nashville?

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Going on four years, baby. Four years from. Four years.

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Now, you said through the God-blessing, you were brought to Nashville.

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Now, what originally brought you to Nashville?

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Well, a relationship. Psychology. A relationship? A relationship.

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A romantic relationship.

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You know, I was trying to play house. Then that's understandable.

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That's a good one. I ain't come to Nashville for nothing deep.

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No big old, nothing like that. I came here thinking I was going to be put up

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and live my best life as a couple and a married man. And life had other plans.

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Life had other plans. Hey, and sometimes it happens that way.

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We all, I think what you said is very true.

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And I think a lot of people don't understand with God's plan,

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it's totally different.

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And my brother always says, if you want to make a fool of yourself,

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tell God what your plans are, because he has a different plan for you.

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You know, you can tell people and you can tell God all day long what your plan

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is, but God always has something different for you. Were you in the military?

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Yes, I was. I did my stint. So, my time in.

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Did the dash. Did the dash. Now, what part of, were you in the Army, the Navy?

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Yes, Army, 92 Risky, Relaxing Jackson.

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Relaxing Jackson is the base that I grew in.

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I grew in, and for other circumstances, I did not stay in. But it's something

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that, it's a time in my life that I reflect on.

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It was a time in my life that molded me, and that gave me the...

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The training, I get, you know, train a child up. The whole thing gave me the

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training that I need to stay grounded and who I wanted to be.

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You know, the military did work for me in that way.

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Okay. And you said you were one of six. You were the oldest or the youngest of six?

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Oldest. You know, my daddy was feeling himself, you know.

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I got a couple of ghetto twins in my family, as people like to say. Hey, man, it happens.

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And in those days and times, Papa was a Rolling Stone.

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Yeah, still is. That's why I get it from, baby. Pimpin' ain't easy. Pimpin' ain't easy.

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Pimpin' ain't easy. I'm digging a fit, though. I love the hat.

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I appreciate you, bud. With the vest and the tie. I'm digging your fit.

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Let's get into it. So you moved here. What year did you move to Nashville?

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On and off. Okay, so I officially moved here about 2019, 2020. Okay. 2020, 2021.

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But like, I have my, I used to be in these Murfreesboro streets when I used

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to tap in in Nashville back when I was, I used to go to Wally College, okay?

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Okay. Before I'm pushing 30, when I first got into Tennessee,

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I lived here in Murfreesboro, about 1918.

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I was college life living, find a community here in Murfreesboro.

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I lived there for a little bit.

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Life happened. I ended up going away, trying to figure out life,

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ended up coming back in 2020, 2019, 2020. and that's when I started like.

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Feet planted here in nashville so yeah i've been

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around let's let's let's not drive past away from

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life got in the way what was what was life

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that made you have to leave murfreesboro and come leave college and come back

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man you know i guess you can say with with being younger you always think from

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a of a defeatist mindset i've never really been through life so the only way to say

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I didn't have the opportunities that I wanted to or like, you know,

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I didn't have the money growing up, you know, or my mom this and this and that and,

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ultimately that did have an impact on my trajectory as far as.

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When I wanted to go on live, for example, my mom wanted me to go to college,

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you know, do certain things.

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And me not really understanding how blessed I was at 19, 18 to be from such

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a low, a community that's in poverty, but stop the opportunities that I have at 18, 19.

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I wasn't understanding the grasp of that. So she wanted me to go to military,

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get, you know, go to school, have this, this sense of stability throughout my life.

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And me being young and me being, having all these opportunities at 19,

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18 years old, not really understanding the ebb and flow of life.

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I didn't want to do it that way, but I want to go to college.

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I'm a star. Like, I'm going to do this and this. I'm going to do how I want to do.

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And eventually, eventually everything else subsided.

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Me thinking I knew everything in life that eventually caused me to get put out

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the house in 1920 because I didn't want to follow the rules then I'm on my own

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living couch to couch you know living with the same people that my mom never

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thought was my friends but I thought was my friends

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and now that I don't have mom and dad or support systems now that I feel like I can do bad

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on my own I started doing bad on my own,

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and now I believe I'm the life skills,

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to manage it because I thought I think I knew everything I thought I knew everything.

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I call it the grown syndrome.

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Every 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, all the way up until you're about 25,

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you go through that grown, ungrown syndrome.

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But what you just said is amazing because a lot of young people don't understand

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that you really at that age don't have the life skills to manage your own life.

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You really don't. You don't. You don't. And when you're such a,

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like, medium fish in a small pond like Kaleem from Texas, you know,

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you're not even really, like, realizing, like, you don't know the scope of everything.

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You don't know. And it's unfortunate that by the personality type that I do

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to people telling me wasn't going to be enough.

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You had to go see for yourself. I had to go see for myself. And boy, did I. Life can fight.

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Life can fight. So am I behind up? Right.

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In my life, I was humble, which brings me to where I'm at now.

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I'm able to engage with people from a different spirit, man,

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a stronger spirit, man, a more compassionate place, a more understanding place,

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a more graceful place, a more humbled space and place. Yes.

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Now, at your age, you are now looking back over all the things that you went through.

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What is the one thing that you're most thankful for?

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The fact that I was able to overcome my addiction.

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Now, let's talk about it. Let's talk about addiction.

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How old were you when... Can you recall how old you were when you started using your DOC?

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Right. I was 1920, freshly off, getting put out my mother's house.

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I don't have the same story as if I grew up around it. My mom is not...

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She doesn't use... She doesn't misuse substances.

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My sisters don't. So in my immediate upbringing, that I didn't have access to that.

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So it's when I got there on my own, I came knocking on my door, literally.

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You know, I was on the app, being young and hot in the ass, you know, trying to hustle.

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And it literally came knocking on my door. A gentleman asked me,

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did I party, which is the language that they would use, you know,

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to sensationalize whatever, to sensationalize the moment.

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And me being young and naive and not growing up with that language,

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not even knowing what certain things would look like.

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To me being naive, I'm like, yeah, I partied because I've always been cool,

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been with it. Yeah, nigga, I partied.

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He came on over, and the party wasn't, he had basketball shorts on,

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motherfucker, t-shirt.

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You know, this ain't the type of party that I'm thinking we're going to head out to. Right.

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Motherfucker pulled it out, and it was drugs. It was methamphetamine.

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Okay. Let's be transparent. That's what we hear. It was methamphetamine. And...

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It was brought to me as something different, and it wasn't told to me that was

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methamphetamines after.

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The D was already done to after I already hit the pipe to after I already had the X, Y, and Z.

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And me being so far removed from my family, like I told you at the time,

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I was put out the house. And I wouldn't talk to any of my siblings.

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I was doing that on my own.

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Okay. But I still had opportunities in the background that I wasn't able to

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manage, like me being off Broadway.

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At the time, I was doing musicals. So I was singing and dancing on Broadway.

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You know, that's why I thought I had everything, but like me not knowing what

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the crap it is that I'm finna do, I can't even function in these rehearsals.

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You know, I can't even do X, Y, and D's rehearsals in my mind.

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My spirit, my mind is somewhere else because it's something I just did.

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And me trying to manage that over the years between 1920 and 1525, you know, was not,

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It was, it became a thing. It became harder and harder to bounce back to my grounded self.

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So, like, I end up being hospitalized for schizophrenia.

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You know, I didn't went as far as to shooing up and putting needles in my arm, you know.

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But by the grace of God, like, by the grace of God, by the grace of God.

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All right, listen, if it wasn't for God, we wouldn't be here.

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Now, I'm going to ask you a question, and it's up to you to answer or not.

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You said being on these apps, and they presented it to you as party.

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Now, that language sounds like jacked or something.

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Yes. Okay. You're a little more tapped in than I thought.

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So, yeah. Oh, my brother. My brother is, what's the title?

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What title are you looking for? Yes.

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Queer, Sam Jenner-loving, you know, whatever.

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I'm not trans. No, I never want to disrespect anyone's titles.

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Yeah, right. So what is your title?

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I identify as a queer man. Okay. A queer man. That's fine.

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I'm going to love you no matter what, my brother. I'm going to love you no matter what.

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Appreciate you, baby. Yes, yes. I'm going to love you no matter what.

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Because like I said, my brother identifies as a queer man.

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He identifies as a queer man. But here's the thing. So, you knew at an early

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age that you were a queer man? Definitely.

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Okay. And that's fine. Did that cause any problems going into the military?

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No. It might have also problems with...

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The religious side of my life, more so than the day-to-day, nine-to-five,

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practical side of my life. Okay. In a matter of fact.

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Okay. Because it's real. I mean, because if we're going to have a real conversation,

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we're going to have a real conversation.

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Let's talk about it. I want to say, yeah, I think I've been blessed enough to

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grow up in a space to where I can be married. Like, I can blend into any space.

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So while I was a queer man, I never had that issue of being outcasted because

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of my identity. That I can tell.

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That I could tell at least that I could tell at least until I got into my spirit,

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man, and what religion and what God, and talking to that world is when I think,

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you know, my identity start being challenged.

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My identity start being challenged. And we're going to drive,

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we identify that, we're going to drive past that.

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We're going to drive past it because it's still a part of your identity.

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But we're going to talk about the struggles and all the things that came along with your addiction.

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And how you let your addiction compromise your opportunities that were placed in front of you.

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Because how many young men do you know at your age was able to be able to dance

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off of Broadway and do all those things?

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And is the drug usage something prevalent in that world?

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Well, I think it's relevant in every world. Let me just say that. It is.

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But from what I'm saying, I'm saying this.

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This person came over. Like you said, you was ready to go party.

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You was ready to go shake the club down.

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And they came over in basketball shorts and they introduced you to something

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that you had never been involved in in your life.

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Right. And what? But, okay, maybe here's a better question. Right.

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Being that you were 19 and you had never involved yourself in any type of drugs,

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what made you propelled to use the drugs?

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It's a sense of not knowing what was going on at life at the time.

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Okay. At that point, I had dropped out of Wiley College. I went to Wiley College.

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Okay. I got a scholarship there to sing.

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But me not like I said the life skills was not there so me going to classes

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constantly me trying to find X, Y, Z across campus it was just too much it was.

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At the time, the capacity for me to lean into those things and get my education

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wasn't there because I thought I was going to be a superstar.

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And the fact that slowly but shook, I dropped out of college,

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tried to go back home, wasn't going. My mom wasn't going. I can't come back

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home unless I'm working.

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Didn't want to work because I feel like I'm not meant to be working at a 9 to

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5 at McDonald's when I'm seeing it.

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I'm gifted, you know, but me realizing I'm not beginning the program,

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I'm not gifted enough to be doing what I want to do.

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And so eventually, the opportunity to dance and sing on Broadway disappear too.

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You're not showing up to rehearsal.

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Okay, you don't want to come to practice when you need to come to practice.

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We can get somebody else to do it.

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Me being 19 and 20 at the time, I'm thinking like, nigga, I'm the only one.

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I'm the only one. You know, I'm going to get the job done. No.

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There's a million other people waiting to take your place. Right.

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I get the job done. But eventually that subsided.

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And me going up with women, I try to reflect my hustle mindset using what I got to get what I want.

00:16:45.546 --> 00:16:48.766
So eventually, that's what it became to. I couldn't go back to the house with

00:16:48.766 --> 00:16:52.886
my mom, was dropped out of college, wasn't going back into the military.

00:16:53.406 --> 00:16:59.606
So I ended up living in a city with my trick at the time, who I consider a trick,

00:16:59.766 --> 00:17:01.446
was an older man that I knew would take care of me.

00:17:01.626 --> 00:17:04.486
So at that point, when I got introduced to it, I was in the middle,

00:17:04.606 --> 00:17:06.786
in between, figuring like, okay, what am I going to do, Jay?

00:17:06.866 --> 00:17:07.726
I'm like, what are you going to do?

00:17:08.326 --> 00:17:12.886
Right. What are you going to do? So the sense of me not knowing who I was,

00:17:13.026 --> 00:17:17.506
where I'm going, what I'm doing, that sitting with all that is what I could not sit with.

00:17:17.726 --> 00:17:21.286
And so when I hit that, I realized, oh, my mind is somewhere else when I'm doing this.

00:17:22.666 --> 00:17:26.646
So it was numbing the pain of your failures.

00:17:27.666 --> 00:17:30.586
Exactly. Like, you know, picking in high school. You know, people,

00:17:30.686 --> 00:17:34.326
oh, I thought you'd be doing more, this and that. Like that, all that.

00:17:34.586 --> 00:17:38.066
Right. That language, those workers, you know. Of course.

00:17:39.486 --> 00:17:43.586
And not seeing the ceiling of that when it comes to such a low poverty place.

00:17:43.726 --> 00:17:46.886
Like I'm not, nobody next to me is a millionaire. Nobody next to me has a business.

00:17:47.106 --> 00:17:50.026
Nobody in my immediate proximity is doing anything remotely,

00:17:51.678 --> 00:17:55.098
anything that I would want to do in life in my immediate vicinity.

00:17:55.858 --> 00:17:59.618
Right. So how long did that last? How long did that life last?

00:18:00.098 --> 00:18:07.098
Up until 25, 25, 26. So from 19 to 25, you were addicted to a substance,

00:18:08.678 --> 00:18:13.938
living place to place with people who you thought that would take care of you.

00:18:14.778 --> 00:18:19.218
Yes. And not necessarily in a monetary way, because I've always been able to

00:18:19.218 --> 00:18:22.838
do for myself survive. I've never been able to survive on my own,

00:18:22.898 --> 00:18:25.598
but take care of me, like be the family that I was missing.

00:18:26.258 --> 00:18:32.338
Right. And I notice in your community, a lot of people take on families.

00:18:32.638 --> 00:18:37.458
You know, I've seen where there's the mother figure and they kind of.

00:18:37.458 --> 00:18:41.238
I'm talking about ballroom houses and all that. Pose, me and the wife watch Pose.

00:18:41.958 --> 00:18:46.438
And so I said, bro, I'm tapped in. And even though I'm where I'm at,

00:18:46.658 --> 00:18:50.958
I'm tapped in because the thing is, I love people.

00:18:51.898 --> 00:18:57.498
I don't care what you do in your personal life. That's your business. I love people.

00:18:58.218 --> 00:19:04.898
And I feel like your story needs to be told because here's the thing.

00:19:05.577 --> 00:19:10.717
There's another young man right now that's eight, 17, 18, 19,

00:19:10.717 --> 00:19:14.937
about to graduate from high school and is about to go down the same path you went down.

00:19:15.217 --> 00:19:22.317
And if this interview can say one person, my God job is done because I started

00:19:22.317 --> 00:19:26.377
this whole thing to say one soul, one soul.

00:19:27.117 --> 00:19:33.457
But the way God works, God put this idea in my head and he gave me this voice

00:19:33.457 --> 00:19:35.957
to propel this platform.

00:19:36.377 --> 00:19:41.437
It's going to save more than one soul. But I feel like and I'm going to say

00:19:41.437 --> 00:19:45.357
this and I know there's no disrespect to anybody, you or me.

00:19:45.357 --> 00:19:50.697
But there are a lot of heterosexual men will not cross over and have these type

00:19:50.697 --> 00:19:56.357
of conversations with a queer man and get into in-depth into their lives.

00:19:56.537 --> 00:20:01.277
Now, we ain't going to talk about your sex life because that has nothing to do with anything.

00:20:01.637 --> 00:20:07.177
But your title has everything to do with it because this world is going to look

00:20:07.177 --> 00:20:11.157
at you in a particular way about anything.

00:20:11.157 --> 00:20:14.177
We were born with two strikes

00:20:14.177 --> 00:20:17.297
against us when we were born in this world we were

00:20:17.297 --> 00:20:19.977
black and we were male you understand what

00:20:19.977 --> 00:20:22.977
i'm saying and then how you felt growing

00:20:22.977 --> 00:20:26.137
up and who you are as a man today gave you

00:20:26.137 --> 00:20:32.297
another strike so in this world you have so much against you but you're but

00:20:32.297 --> 00:20:38.897
you have so much going for you if you can understand what i'm saying but the

00:20:38.897 --> 00:20:44.677
things that you've been through and the life that you've lived is your testimony.

00:20:45.497 --> 00:20:50.077
But you had to be put through the test and the life that you've lived,

00:20:50.642 --> 00:20:56.262
in order to have the testimony. And that's what a lot of people nowadays don't understand.

00:20:56.462 --> 00:21:00.522
They just want to, they want it all. They want it all. I want it right now.

00:21:00.682 --> 00:21:06.382
Let me get it right now. But they don't want to go through the test to get to the testimony.

00:21:08.102 --> 00:21:13.362
But you, like I said, let's be honest. Let's be all these things.

00:21:13.462 --> 00:21:15.562
And you have been very honest and very open.

00:21:16.442 --> 00:21:19.462
And I appreciate all of that.

00:21:20.042 --> 00:21:26.702
Right. But here's the thing. Drug addiction, living from house to house,

00:21:27.862 --> 00:21:29.802
did a short stint in the military.

00:21:30.482 --> 00:21:39.062
Now, where you are now, have you encountered any young men that you can see yourself in?

00:21:39.862 --> 00:21:41.482
Have I? Yeah.

00:21:42.662 --> 00:21:50.722
More than enough. And I think that's why I have such a burning desire to stay

00:21:50.722 --> 00:21:53.402
steadfast in the path that God is having me in.

00:21:53.682 --> 00:21:57.202
In my workings of Five Better Sigma Fraternity Incorporated,

00:21:57.542 --> 00:22:03.462
you know, with my connections to after school programming and dance and my ministry

00:22:03.462 --> 00:22:04.802
and singing, I always meet.

00:22:05.415 --> 00:22:11.375
The little boys who's a little more like that sitting in the corner or obviously

00:22:11.375 --> 00:22:14.355
the boy who's not like this, but it's a little more quirky or a little more,

00:22:14.355 --> 00:22:17.815
a little more less cool, whatever that means than the other kids.

00:22:17.955 --> 00:22:22.635
And I always find myself, my energy or my spirit, man, being attracted to those,

00:22:22.635 --> 00:22:25.975
to those, to those spirits when it comes to, when it comes to young men,

00:22:26.415 --> 00:22:27.295
you know, so definitely.

00:22:27.675 --> 00:22:30.435
So what do you, what do you do in those situations? Are

00:22:30.435 --> 00:22:33.395
you mentoring those young men are you telling those young

00:22:33.395 --> 00:22:36.895
queer men that it's okay to be authentically them

00:22:36.895 --> 00:22:39.935
yes and i'm not i'm telling

00:22:39.935 --> 00:22:43.795
that in coincidence with me showing them that because some people can't be told

00:22:43.795 --> 00:22:49.615
right no this most of this young generation they they are looking because where

00:22:49.615 --> 00:22:54.875
we are now as a society everything has to be shown everything has to be shown

00:22:54.875 --> 00:22:58.035
because they I tell my kids all the time,

00:22:58.255 --> 00:23:02.375
hey, I done lived four to six years on this earth. I've done everything you've done.

00:23:02.695 --> 00:23:07.415
But then they're still looking at me like, yeah, whatever.

00:23:08.935 --> 00:23:13.495
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, so yes.

00:23:13.975 --> 00:23:21.255
And so you're showing them and telling them that their lives can be totally different.

00:23:21.755 --> 00:23:24.875
What kind of... If you just do. My bad.

00:23:25.715 --> 00:23:33.055
But what kind of outcome are you getting from these young men that your spirit kind of guides you to?

00:23:33.495 --> 00:23:35.175
What are some of the things that

00:23:35.175 --> 00:23:39.255
you're hearing from these young men that your spirit kind of talks to?

00:23:39.395 --> 00:23:42.075
Your heart kind of leads you to those young men.

00:23:42.255 --> 00:23:47.155
What are you hearing from this new—because we're going to call them the newer generation.

00:23:47.575 --> 00:23:49.515
Right, right. Because you're in your 30s now, right?

00:23:50.135 --> 00:23:54.535
Yeah. Knocking on them. Knocking on them. But we're going to call them— We're not going to answer.

00:23:55.535 --> 00:23:59.335
All right. But still, the younger generation that you encounter,

00:23:59.355 --> 00:24:04.375
what are some of the things that you're hearing from them about their struggles?

00:24:07.095 --> 00:24:07.655
Well...

00:24:08.449 --> 00:24:13.469
From, in my proximity, it's always, they feel like things are being gatekept

00:24:13.469 --> 00:24:14.829
by the older generations.

00:24:15.289 --> 00:24:21.129
Or the older generation does not see them or hear them because they're too busy critiquing them.

00:24:21.889 --> 00:24:25.469
You know, so I think as a bridger, I look to myself as a bridge.

00:24:25.809 --> 00:24:33.569
So I can assimilate in so many different spaces with my identity that I'm listening to this feedback.

00:24:34.029 --> 00:24:38.949
You know or i see i see the kid or the young lady you know expressing how she

00:24:38.949 --> 00:24:44.149
wants to dance and like i can see the seeds being planted and then when god puts it on my heart to,

00:24:44.769 --> 00:24:48.189
walk in the room tell everybody to get up and learn this dance or give them

00:24:48.189 --> 00:24:52.529
a give them some advice on how to handle the relationship between this this

00:24:52.529 --> 00:24:56.229
staff member and this student you know because sometimes you need that person

00:24:56.229 --> 00:25:00.869
that's in the middle to be able to facilitate you know how an older person is

00:25:00.869 --> 00:25:02.009
feeling versus a younger person.

00:25:02.389 --> 00:25:06.129
And that's where I step in. You know, or sometimes you need fashion sense.

00:25:06.169 --> 00:25:09.209
And I'm a little eclectic with my style. A lot of the straight mirror on campus, you know.

00:25:09.389 --> 00:25:13.549
They want to put that, they want to put it on to press the honeys, you know.

00:25:14.049 --> 00:25:17.529
You know, y'all go ahead, little bro, go in my closet, little bro, do your thing, you know.

00:25:17.909 --> 00:25:21.429
Right. Put on my best vest, my best bubble jacket, do your thing.

00:25:21.529 --> 00:25:23.729
And it's like little things like that. Yes, I don't have the.

00:25:24.572 --> 00:25:31.692
The monetary things to make the change in people's life that I would want to, but that will come.

00:25:31.812 --> 00:25:35.732
And so from what I have the capacity to give, I do, I maximize that whether

00:25:35.732 --> 00:25:38.132
it's clothes, whether it's advice, whether it is a few dollars,

00:25:38.532 --> 00:25:40.772
whether it's just showing up, whether it's just listening to them,

00:25:40.892 --> 00:25:44.932
whether it's being myself so much to where they could be themselves no matter

00:25:44.932 --> 00:25:48.352
what space you're in by being an example of what it looks like to be authentic.

00:25:48.652 --> 00:25:52.532
Well, hopefully in the long run, cause this person may be struggling with this

00:25:52.532 --> 00:25:56.652
thing internally to be authentically themselves and knowing that God's going to love you either way.

00:25:57.032 --> 00:26:06.352
And my job is to really pull people out of that to eternal struggle so they can externally be free.

00:26:06.512 --> 00:26:10.372
And I feel like I do that very well with the stage and the audience and the people that I have.

00:26:10.672 --> 00:26:14.432
I mean, but that's, that is beautiful.

00:26:15.052 --> 00:26:19.812
That is beautiful because let me explain something to you. That's what we're missing as a society.

00:26:20.612 --> 00:26:24.092
The first thing you said, you said it may not be monetary. OK,

00:26:24.192 --> 00:26:25.612
let's take all of that away.

00:26:26.232 --> 00:26:30.152
Everything you just said is what somebody needs.

00:26:30.612 --> 00:26:34.312
Hey, look, bro, go in there and look and see if there's something in the closet

00:26:34.312 --> 00:26:37.312
that you can put on so you can impress this young lady.

00:26:37.512 --> 00:26:40.492
Hey, what's going on? Let's have a conversation.

00:26:41.292 --> 00:26:47.812
Humanality, just just the basic human need, just meeting a basic human need. Are you hungry?

00:26:48.412 --> 00:26:58.052
Let's walk down to to to Helen's hot chicken and grab you a two piece tender and feed your belly.

00:26:58.352 --> 00:27:02.772
Let's walk down to the to the corner market and get you a couple of what packs

00:27:02.772 --> 00:27:05.632
of noodles or something to feed.

00:27:05.772 --> 00:27:07.432
Because I always tell people like this.

00:27:07.732 --> 00:27:13.112
You see a homeless guy standing on a corner with a sign and he says he's hungry.

00:27:13.852 --> 00:27:17.712
Now, you talk about your Christianity. Now, listen to this. You see a homeless

00:27:17.712 --> 00:27:19.172
guy standing on a corner and he's like,

00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:23.920
He's got a sign that says anything helps. So you go down and you say,

00:27:24.060 --> 00:27:28.640
hey, my brother, have you read Psalms 123, 13?

00:27:29.260 --> 00:27:33.500
And you quote Bible verses to him and you try to give him a Bible.

00:27:34.180 --> 00:27:39.120
Now, this man is hungry. He's hungry. He ain't ate in five days.

00:27:39.980 --> 00:27:44.400
Do you think he's really going to be open to you reading that Bible to him,

00:27:44.500 --> 00:27:47.140
to him taking that Bible? Is he really going to be open?

00:27:47.840 --> 00:27:49.700
No, and I'm gonna think that you even came out of him like that.

00:27:49.760 --> 00:27:51.540
You read the sign and it said nothing about no scripture.

00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:58.340
But see, you're a little bit different. You're a different bear. Because check this out.

00:27:59.140 --> 00:28:03.200
I'm a different bear too. If I see a man on the corner with a sign and he says

00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:06.660
he's hungry, but I want to read him this Bible, here's what I'm gonna do.

00:28:06.840 --> 00:28:10.820
I'm gonna scan the perimeter and I'm gonna find the nearest restaurant.

00:28:11.840 --> 00:28:15.900
And I'm gonna go and ask him, say, you hungry, brother? Would you like to go

00:28:15.900 --> 00:28:19.160
over here to McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell's, wherever,

00:28:19.480 --> 00:28:24.160
whatever's in close proximity to him and say, come on, I'm going to take you

00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:26.440
over here and I'm going to buy you something to eat. We're going to sit down

00:28:26.440 --> 00:28:27.760
and we're going to eat together.

00:28:28.980 --> 00:28:32.220
And while he's sitting down, eat that meal, then I'm going to break out that

00:28:32.220 --> 00:28:33.500
Bible and I'm going to say, hey, listen.

00:28:38.560 --> 00:28:44.500
Because now I've fulfilled his need. I've put food in his belly.

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.620
You understand what I'm saying? I fulfill the need that he needs.

00:28:48.980 --> 00:28:52.340
Now I can usher him into Christianity.

00:28:53.360 --> 00:28:58.360
Not knowing if he is or not, but now I can accomplish my goal by reading him

00:28:58.360 --> 00:29:03.320
these Bible verses and telling him about the goodness of God and then telling

00:29:03.320 --> 00:29:06.000
him that, hey, the church is feeding on Wednesday night.

00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:10.080
You come by on Wednesday night and we're going to feed you a good meal on Wednesday

00:29:10.080 --> 00:29:12.220
night. you understand what I'm saying.

00:29:13.203 --> 00:29:15.643
No, I understand what you're saying. And then some, you know,

00:29:15.743 --> 00:29:20.623
I think I was explaining to one of my frat brothers, like, I was just saved in 2024.

00:29:20.843 --> 00:29:23.543
Like I was baptized, you know, I've been called, God has been called me,

00:29:23.643 --> 00:29:27.723
but I've just been a doctor and into what it means to be with God in 2024.

00:29:28.103 --> 00:29:32.183
And I just feel like the way I, my theology, where I perceive God is such from

00:29:32.183 --> 00:29:35.163
a worldly standpoint in that perspective.

00:29:35.363 --> 00:29:39.803
Like my first thing is to help the person's need and then follow it up with

00:29:39.803 --> 00:29:43.483
scripture. because I'm actually representing the works of Jesus Christ.

00:29:43.743 --> 00:29:47.883
And then I put out the scripture. But if you reflect that light before you get

00:29:47.883 --> 00:29:51.443
to even trying to, like you said, break people apart and tear them down and

00:29:51.443 --> 00:29:58.383
identify as Christianity, the humanist and all that interaction is what I identify with.

00:29:58.383 --> 00:30:02.583
It's what I lean towards to as I'm engaging with believers, people that I'm

00:30:02.583 --> 00:30:05.063
trying to say, people that I want to say, people that I want to see,

00:30:05.463 --> 00:30:08.363
people that I want to see the grace and the light of God. You know,

00:30:08.443 --> 00:30:10.503
I always try to exercise that. Give me this. It's important.

00:30:11.163 --> 00:30:14.903
But there are some people in Christianity. They want, they just want to shove

00:30:14.903 --> 00:30:16.743
the, they just want to shove the Bible down your throat.

00:30:17.283 --> 00:30:20.143
Now, every Friday. They want you to do it your way too. They want you to do

00:30:20.143 --> 00:30:22.283
Christianity their way. Right, right. Now.

00:30:23.484 --> 00:30:26.944
Every Friday night, I host a two-hour live show where men can come in and have

00:30:26.944 --> 00:30:28.984
vulnerable and transparent conversations.

00:30:29.704 --> 00:30:33.344
And I tell people all the time, it's not church. It's not church.

00:30:33.484 --> 00:30:34.684
Now, it's God derivative.

00:30:35.224 --> 00:30:37.404
God gave me this idea. God gave me

00:30:37.404 --> 00:30:42.804
this blessing. But I want men to be as authentic and as real as possible.

00:30:42.964 --> 00:30:46.104
Whatever you're going through as a man, let's talk about it.

00:30:46.344 --> 00:30:50.824
You understand what I'm saying? Man, let's have a real intelligent conversation

00:30:50.824 --> 00:30:56.064
about life, love, marriage, rearing children, whatever's going on at your job.

00:30:56.204 --> 00:30:58.084
Let's have a real conversation about that.

00:30:58.444 --> 00:31:01.624
Whether you need to cuss it out, whether you need to scream it out,

00:31:01.764 --> 00:31:06.964
whether you need to do whatever you need to do, because the church is what it is.

00:31:07.084 --> 00:31:10.984
The church house is what it is. But in actuality, the church is here.

00:31:12.204 --> 00:31:16.344
There's a church inside of all of us. This is church right here,

00:31:16.364 --> 00:31:18.944
and it may not look like a cathedral.

00:31:18.944 --> 00:31:23.564
It may not look like a building that we're entering, but we're praising God

00:31:23.564 --> 00:31:28.344
because I give God all the glory for giving me this talent.

00:31:29.696 --> 00:31:34.256
And I thank God for giving me the opportunity to have you here.

00:31:34.256 --> 00:31:37.536
And I thank God for giving us this time frame.

00:31:37.756 --> 00:31:43.776
But at the end of the day, it's still about humanity. It's about identifying.

00:31:43.776 --> 00:31:46.696
It's about connecting. It's about all these things.

00:31:47.396 --> 00:31:52.756
So tell me about you got baptized in 2024.

00:31:53.076 --> 00:31:59.496
Before that, what was your religious practice like before that?

00:32:00.476 --> 00:32:03.976
Christianity, I had no choice. But I'm saying, what was you doing?

00:32:04.056 --> 00:32:06.076
You said you just got baptized in 2024.

00:32:06.336 --> 00:32:08.416
Were you going to church? What was you doing? I was saying, yeah,

00:32:08.536 --> 00:32:11.116
that wasn't the first time I stepped into the water, into the church.

00:32:11.336 --> 00:32:16.356
I was saying, I got locked in with God when I got baptized, but I was already

00:32:16.356 --> 00:32:19.976
participating in church. You know, I didn't grow up in church.

00:32:20.296 --> 00:32:25.516
I'd be lying if I said that my mama made me go to church every Sunday between

00:32:25.516 --> 00:32:30.136
8 and 10, birth and 19. No, that was not, that's not my story.

00:32:30.456 --> 00:32:37.576
Me coming to Tennessee is where I found God's when I started to open my eyes a little bigger.

00:32:38.016 --> 00:32:42.336
And 2024 is when I chose to make that choice for me to release my old,

00:32:42.576 --> 00:32:44.336
the old, like completely.

00:32:44.636 --> 00:32:48.696
I got you. Let's drive back real quick. Let's drive back to the beginning.

00:32:48.976 --> 00:32:53.056
You said you came to Nashville in a relationship.

00:32:54.110 --> 00:32:57.850
Yes, yes, trying to maintain one, correct, correct, correct, correct.

00:32:59.010 --> 00:33:04.790
So you thought this was going to be the family, all of that. What was that about?

00:33:06.810 --> 00:33:13.750
Yeah, it was my best friend, my dog, you know, somebody that I've grown to have

00:33:13.750 --> 00:33:16.950
an understanding to know and learn because we're both from the same city.

00:33:17.230 --> 00:33:23.090
Okay. His parents, his grandparents have always lived here, but his mom and

00:33:23.090 --> 00:33:27.390
him were from the same hometown he moved here years before I came stuff was

00:33:27.390 --> 00:33:29.730
going on back home I decided to,

00:33:30.210 --> 00:33:34.210
okay I'm a different place you're at where you're at in life we can do a lot

00:33:34.210 --> 00:33:37.150
together let me come down here and restart we can just reset together,

00:33:37.670 --> 00:33:42.330
but the problem was when I first got down here he did not tell me that he was

00:33:42.330 --> 00:33:44.490
living the same lifestyle that I was trying to get away from,

00:33:45.030 --> 00:33:48.970
okay he ended up he ended up becoming somebody that uses also okay,

00:33:49.550 --> 00:33:52.810
and so like I met a journey, the part of,

00:33:53.570 --> 00:33:59.150
substance misuse, I hate the word addiction, like, substance misuse,

00:33:59.350 --> 00:34:01.310
so, when people are on that journey.

00:34:02.090 --> 00:34:03.430
People are in different places with it,

00:34:04.111 --> 00:34:07.231
you have to move differently. And me attaching myself to, like,

00:34:07.691 --> 00:34:11.151
the spirit, that attachment spirit that I have for people that I love and care

00:34:11.151 --> 00:34:13.031
about, it was hard for me to, like,

00:34:13.671 --> 00:34:18.111
okay, like, this man trying to turn it up and shit like that came in to hit

00:34:18.111 --> 00:34:21.531
to do a job, start over, go to school, but this man trying to get high and fuck

00:34:21.531 --> 00:34:24.851
and do X, Y, and Z all hours of the night, you know?

00:34:24.951 --> 00:34:29.591
And I'm not really realizing how to tell this person no, you know,

00:34:29.651 --> 00:34:33.111
or me as a person are engaging differently and his family is realizing it's

00:34:33.111 --> 00:34:37.731
not his family. that cares about him is realizing that me and his relationship is not the healthiest.

00:34:38.471 --> 00:34:42.271
So basically, it just came down to me choosing, like, what do I want?

00:34:42.371 --> 00:34:44.171
Do I want to sit there and be comfortable?

00:34:44.671 --> 00:34:48.531
I guess comfortable in a sense, but still live a lifestyle that's unpleasing to me?

00:34:50.191 --> 00:34:53.871
Or do I want to be uncomfortable and get to my own? And start all over like

00:34:53.871 --> 00:34:55.731
I really came down here to do.

00:34:56.171 --> 00:34:59.911
Right. And life happens, and I had no choice but to start over.

00:35:00.811 --> 00:35:03.191
So where's he now?

00:35:04.591 --> 00:35:08.111
Living his life. Be free. Okay. Be free. Okay.

00:35:08.571 --> 00:35:13.011
Now, being that you all were young, he came before you.

00:35:13.351 --> 00:35:18.371
You came here to live this life. When you got here, it was something totally different.

00:35:20.109 --> 00:35:25.869
Did it change the relationship immediately or was it gradual?

00:35:26.069 --> 00:35:32.789
Did you see it when you first got here or did it, did it like you, he hid it from you?

00:35:33.229 --> 00:35:36.649
Oh no, I did not. He hid it from me up until he got here. I did not know.

00:35:36.729 --> 00:35:39.229
I would not came down here if I would have known.

00:35:39.989 --> 00:35:43.469
He was doing acts wise. It was completely hidden.

00:35:43.649 --> 00:35:50.269
Like it was given like his stage, his upbringing is a little bit more stable than mine.

00:35:50.729 --> 00:35:54.389
I did not know. Like, I did not know that he would have a, he was,

00:35:54.649 --> 00:35:56.849
he didn't have to go through half the stuff he was going through.

00:35:56.969 --> 00:35:58.589
His personal life's different than mine.

00:35:58.849 --> 00:36:00.869
So when I tell you, I was really throwing for a loop.

00:36:01.429 --> 00:36:05.349
When I got down here and we, in the bindo, we trapped out, nigga.

00:36:05.709 --> 00:36:08.809
We jumped out. Nigga, this is not, nigga, you tricked me.

00:36:09.049 --> 00:36:12.229
You got me, but it's like my, but for me going back to me knowing it all,

00:36:12.329 --> 00:36:15.849
my mama told me not to come. And I came anyway.

00:36:16.569 --> 00:36:22.349
You know, like... How many conversations have you had with mama saying,

00:36:22.769 --> 00:36:24.249
mama, you know what? You was right.

00:36:25.169 --> 00:36:26.809
Recently? Now more than ever.

00:36:29.389 --> 00:36:33.469
I've overcame. But I was sitting in it. I can't give it to her. You got me messed up.

00:36:33.849 --> 00:36:37.789
No, no, no. I'm talking about now on the other side of this whole situation.

00:36:38.009 --> 00:36:42.069
Because I was just having a conversation like that on my Friday night show.

00:36:42.529 --> 00:36:46.709
And I asked the fellas, I said, But how many times now, since you're an adult

00:36:46.709 --> 00:36:51.489
and since you're where you are in life, have you went back and told your parents,

00:36:51.669 --> 00:36:53.209
hey, you know what? You was right.

00:36:53.993 --> 00:36:58.153
Because we all go through the I'm grown syndrome.

00:36:58.573 --> 00:37:03.673
Like I said, from 18 to 25, we all have been through that I'm grown syndrome.

00:37:04.153 --> 00:37:09.893
And now that we've gotten older and we've been through all these rigmaroles

00:37:09.893 --> 00:37:14.233
and all of these emotions and all these things,

00:37:15.013 --> 00:37:21.073
are we now going back and giving our parents their flowers, per se,

00:37:21.333 --> 00:37:25.153
to say, you know what? My mom was wrong. You was right.

00:37:25.453 --> 00:37:29.413
I shouldn't have been hanging out with John John.

00:37:30.173 --> 00:37:35.033
You understand what I'm saying? I shouldn't have been hanging over there on Third Street.

00:37:35.213 --> 00:37:40.093
I shouldn't have been over there doing the things I was doing.

00:37:40.513 --> 00:37:44.433
You can't take them back. That's one thing. You can't take them back.

00:37:44.613 --> 00:37:49.233
But they mold us into the people we are right now.

00:37:49.793 --> 00:37:54.153
Right. I would say, yeah. Yeah, and yes, and I said, me and my mom have a healthy

00:37:54.153 --> 00:37:57.773
relationship and I have, despite all of that, and I'm grateful for that,

00:37:57.813 --> 00:38:01.753
so I'm able to express in real time, by the grace of God, how I'm appreciative.

00:38:01.993 --> 00:38:05.313
I am for the sacrifice that she has made for me. You know, I don't think I'll

00:38:05.313 --> 00:38:08.833
be able to thank her enough along with other people, but you know, like.

00:38:09.684 --> 00:38:14.624
It is what it is. Like you said, I don't hopper too much on it because I'm so far removed.

00:38:14.824 --> 00:38:19.224
God has pulled me, elevated me, is elevating me in real time.

00:38:19.384 --> 00:38:21.324
So it's like, I don't have to keep apologizing.

00:38:21.624 --> 00:38:25.184
And fortunately, I only have to learn different lessons, but I only have to

00:38:25.184 --> 00:38:27.364
learn them one time before I get it.

00:38:27.624 --> 00:38:30.364
But you move on. I got what you're saying. Yeah.

00:38:31.184 --> 00:38:36.464
So how you blew your opportunity for,

00:38:36.824 --> 00:38:41.304
at an early age, but you have, You still got time to redeem yourself,

00:38:41.344 --> 00:38:47.524
but you blew the opportunity to be on stage and all of those things,

00:38:47.704 --> 00:38:49.824
singing and dancing off Broadway.

00:38:50.204 --> 00:38:57.324
The reflection of that now, are you trying to get back to that or are we looking

00:38:57.324 --> 00:38:59.344
in a different direction now?

00:39:00.124 --> 00:39:04.484
I'm looking to match all that because now my passions have broadened.

00:39:05.304 --> 00:39:08.904
So like, yes, that's something I will do and do an abundance of,

00:39:08.984 --> 00:39:12.384
and then some, because that's my natural. God has gifted me the ability to be creative.

00:39:12.904 --> 00:39:17.724
Okay. And I want to exercise that and maximize that in the best way possible.

00:39:18.024 --> 00:39:22.044
But now in my head, how can I be creative and make that apply to my nonprofit?

00:39:22.484 --> 00:39:24.864
How can I be creative and make that apply to my philanthropy,

00:39:24.864 --> 00:39:29.084
how I deal with people, me going to school to be a psychologist and social work,

00:39:29.144 --> 00:39:30.684
which is what I'm going to grand school for.

00:39:30.904 --> 00:39:34.444
How can I make all that mess together? Because now I'm thinking bigger.

00:39:35.244 --> 00:39:40.444
So I was like, yes. So tell me the name of your nonprofit and tell me what the

00:39:40.444 --> 00:39:42.864
mission is and how long it's been in existence.

00:39:43.724 --> 00:39:47.124
Okay, my nonprofit is Recovery for You.

00:39:47.424 --> 00:39:52.764
It's a prevention of substance misuse program that's been around for three years.

00:39:52.924 --> 00:39:57.124
I established it when I first started attending American Baptist College, so 2021, 2022.

00:39:57.124 --> 00:40:03.584
And our mission is to cultivate and provide holistic care for marginalized individuals,

00:40:03.804 --> 00:40:09.024
not limited to, but for marginalized individuals within low-income communities

00:40:09.024 --> 00:40:13.284
such as LGBTQIA individuals or low-income families.

00:40:13.444 --> 00:40:18.064
So we provide different programmings to tackle the issue of substance misuse

00:40:18.064 --> 00:40:19.944
from a spiritual and holistic standpoint.

00:40:20.744 --> 00:40:23.704
So what that looks like, we have different type of programs,

00:40:23.864 --> 00:40:28.944
programs within my nonprofit that I'm currently developing that's going to alleviate

00:40:28.944 --> 00:40:30.604
those issues within the communities.

00:40:30.884 --> 00:40:36.564
So I will end up personalizing certain recovery or prevention programs for individuals,

00:40:36.644 --> 00:40:38.444
depending on what your struggle is.

00:40:38.644 --> 00:40:40.824
And eventually that would look like having a recovery house,

00:40:41.284 --> 00:40:45.884
multiple recovery houses. And depending on, you know, at-risk teens,

00:40:46.244 --> 00:40:49.084
adults, depending on where you're at with this, we'll personalize,

00:40:49.852 --> 00:40:52.592
program for that individual person just to get them out of that.

00:40:52.652 --> 00:40:58.072
All that is is getting a person back to who they were before life got to life.

00:40:58.272 --> 00:41:01.332
And if you can provide those things, like if you can fulfill their need.

00:41:02.112 --> 00:41:06.012
They can release their one to use and use drugs as an escape.

00:41:06.172 --> 00:41:07.592
And that's what we want my program to provide.

00:41:07.852 --> 00:41:11.572
But just tackle those for people that look like all kinds of people.

00:41:11.672 --> 00:41:12.912
Because I know this recovery program

00:41:12.912 --> 00:41:17.532
already exists, but it's always this notion of one focus of people.

00:41:18.273 --> 00:41:22.033
And I'm just not that individual. Everybody needs something.

00:41:22.493 --> 00:41:26.473
Everybody, white, black, gay, straight, the 12 year old, the 25 year old.

00:41:26.653 --> 00:41:29.193
And that's what recovery for you is. That's beautiful.

00:41:29.433 --> 00:41:31.613
And I love I love that. I love that.

00:41:32.113 --> 00:41:37.333
And great success. And we're going to work together on that on the outside because

00:41:37.333 --> 00:41:43.633
I'd love to help you get to where you need to go. And I partner with a nonprofit called Gigi Me.

00:41:44.333 --> 00:41:51.493
And my head of my nonprofit is a young lady who was previously incarcerated

00:41:51.493 --> 00:41:58.873
and got herself back together and fought back to be a productive citizen of society.

00:41:58.873 --> 00:42:01.173
And I love her to death. And she's a great young lady.

00:42:02.413 --> 00:42:07.293
She wrote a journal in which I'm going to send you the link to the journal,

00:42:07.293 --> 00:42:10.393
and I want you to check out the journal that she wrote.

00:42:10.413 --> 00:42:17.373
It tells her story about being incarcerated for drug charges. Now, she wasn't a user.

00:42:17.633 --> 00:42:24.373
She was at a place where they were selling drugs and was convicted for possession with resale.

00:42:24.793 --> 00:42:30.253
But it's still along the same lines of helping. What she wants to do is she

00:42:30.253 --> 00:42:34.513
wants to help people understand that just because you've been previously incarcerated

00:42:34.513 --> 00:42:36.233
does not mean your life is there.

00:42:36.793 --> 00:42:40.473
There are things that you could do on the other side. Since she's been incarcerated,

00:42:40.473 --> 00:42:45.353
she's gotten two degrees and she works a full time nine to five job.

00:42:45.853 --> 00:42:51.633
So there's life outside of addiction and drugs and jail and all those things.

00:42:51.813 --> 00:42:54.393
There is life on the other side of that.

00:42:56.293 --> 00:42:58.793
And you're living proof of that. Thank you.

00:42:59.395 --> 00:43:02.835
Mm-hmm. I appreciate that, man. I appreciate it.

00:43:02.915 --> 00:43:06.815
And it's hard to even receive things like that because I always raise my bar.

00:43:06.955 --> 00:43:07.835
I always tell my friend about that.

00:43:08.195 --> 00:43:11.335
I always feel like my personality, I feel like I'm never doing enough because

00:43:11.335 --> 00:43:14.255
I know what I dream about. I know what I'm passionate about.

00:43:15.675 --> 00:43:21.175
I feel like I know where I want to go. And so receiving comments like that is

00:43:21.175 --> 00:43:23.995
very affirming because I don't affirm myself as often as I need to.

00:43:24.535 --> 00:43:26.775
So I appreciate that, Man, you a star.

00:43:27.655 --> 00:43:31.115
You a star right now. I'm digging, like I said, the outfit, man.

00:43:31.255 --> 00:43:35.115
You came on the screen with the hat. I was like, I'm like, where he get that hat at?

00:43:35.735 --> 00:43:40.395
I need that hat. I appreciate it, bro. I'm so serious.

00:43:40.615 --> 00:43:45.395
But I love the way you put together with the vest. Now, where do you shop at?

00:43:46.635 --> 00:43:50.655
That was affordable, man. Thrift Store. That was affordable.

00:43:51.335 --> 00:43:54.835
The Thrift Store, Buffalo Exchange.

00:43:55.955 --> 00:43:59.595
I can be feeling, if I'm feeling, if I got a little change, I might go to Nordstrom's,

00:43:59.635 --> 00:44:03.395
you know, but like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, it's about how you put it together,

00:44:03.475 --> 00:44:04.335
baby. It's all in the mind.

00:44:04.675 --> 00:44:09.775
All right. So right now, how are you, how are you maintaining? Are you working?

00:44:10.055 --> 00:44:16.455
What are you doing? What, what, what is Jalen doing right now to keep himself above what?

00:44:17.175 --> 00:44:20.055
Well, I said, by the grace of God, I still get a check from the military.

00:44:20.295 --> 00:44:24.035
So I'm able to, so I'm able to get something to maintain my,

00:44:24.998 --> 00:44:29.298
My day-to-day. But I'm also a wellness coach at the YMCA.

00:44:30.138 --> 00:44:35.058
Okay. At the Northwest YMCA. I volunteer for Black Mental Health Village,

00:44:35.258 --> 00:44:37.278
which is a nonprofit organization.

00:44:37.698 --> 00:44:39.698
I'm a program coordinator over there.

00:44:40.138 --> 00:44:43.018
Shout it out again, Tim. I need you to speak up a little louder and tell me

00:44:43.018 --> 00:44:45.078
what the name of that saying is.

00:44:45.078 --> 00:44:52.938
Shout out to Black Mental Health Village, who has had a major hand in my development

00:44:52.938 --> 00:44:56.018
and my matriculation as a professional.

00:44:56.418 --> 00:44:59.058
You know, if it wasn't for them, I would not be in some of the spaces,

00:44:59.058 --> 00:45:02.738
in the rooms and faces that I've been in.

00:45:02.818 --> 00:45:08.958
I'm forever grateful for that. I'm currently growing in the YMCA in diversifying

00:45:08.958 --> 00:45:13.858
my knowledge on wellness and what it means to live in wellness and be well in

00:45:13.858 --> 00:45:17.618
more than just a fiscal standpoint. That's what the YMCA is doing for me now.

00:45:17.758 --> 00:45:21.698
And I've been blessed enough to receive grace and mercy and plenty of it by

00:45:21.698 --> 00:45:23.638
American Baptist College. Amen.

00:45:25.238 --> 00:45:31.078
I've been blessed enough to receive so much grace by grace of God in tandem

00:45:31.078 --> 00:45:34.218
with American Baptist College. and it's allowed me to.

00:45:34.873 --> 00:45:40.713
To grow seamlessly, you know, and I thank God for second, third,

00:45:40.953 --> 00:45:42.513
fourth, fifth, 11, whatever chances.

00:45:42.973 --> 00:45:46.673
I thank God for that. And it's all been facilitated by these organizations,

00:45:46.673 --> 00:45:50.953
such as American Baptist College, Black Metal Village, YMCA.

00:45:51.113 --> 00:45:55.493
And there's only a few things that I can name, you know, that's half had a hand,

00:45:55.613 --> 00:45:59.153
that I can see, at least, you know, that's how the head in my goal,

00:45:59.233 --> 00:46:01.013
through my matriculation. I'm forever grateful for that.

00:46:01.413 --> 00:46:04.813
Man, listen, but the thing is, You have a you have a village,

00:46:05.053 --> 00:46:11.853
you have a village and a lot of people that are young and in your shoes don't have a village.

00:46:12.093 --> 00:46:14.993
And you brought a different aspect to this conversation.

00:46:15.293 --> 00:46:20.473
And I'm not being funny or anything, but I didn't know from just from the the

00:46:20.473 --> 00:46:26.573
initial conversations that we had had over the phone and text and whatever that you were queer.

00:46:26.893 --> 00:46:31.633
And that shit don't mean nothing. But I'm saying we still got to advocate for

00:46:31.633 --> 00:46:38.353
people. and I love your attitude and I love who you are as a person and we need more of you.

00:46:38.413 --> 00:46:44.693
We need more of you to advocate for young men in that space,

00:46:44.693 --> 00:46:46.233
if you can understand what I'm saying,

00:46:46.273 --> 00:46:53.573
because there's so many young boys and women out here that feel like they don't have anybody to talk to.

00:46:53.873 --> 00:47:01.993
See, I created this whole space to give people an opportunity to be able to have conversations and.

00:47:02.744 --> 00:47:08.684
So many men, and I'm just saying men in general, are dying in silence because

00:47:08.684 --> 00:47:13.444
they feel like they don't have anybody to talk to about what they have going

00:47:13.444 --> 00:47:16.324
on, just as well as in the queer space.

00:47:16.484 --> 00:47:21.564
There's so many men in the queer space that have not come out and being truly

00:47:21.564 --> 00:47:26.624
who they are and not able to talk to anyone.

00:47:26.624 --> 00:47:33.864
So if we could start a community that where they could have those those true

00:47:33.864 --> 00:47:38.384
self conversations, I think this world would be a little bit better.

00:47:38.604 --> 00:47:40.264
If you can understand what I'm saying.

00:47:40.904 --> 00:47:44.004
More than enough, man. You never lied. You never lied.

00:47:44.164 --> 00:47:49.224
There are young boys and young men who are fighting with this internally and

00:47:49.224 --> 00:47:50.744
don't know who to talk to,

00:47:50.924 --> 00:47:54.804
where to go to, because they feel like you said, The young ones feel like the

00:47:54.804 --> 00:47:59.324
old ones don't see them and they're going to critique everything they're doing.

00:47:59.884 --> 00:48:05.624
Think about the impact of that on a young person who's queer but hadn't come out yet.

00:48:05.764 --> 00:48:10.664
And they're fighting to pretend to be, oh, yeah, I'm brolic. I'm rough.

00:48:10.784 --> 00:48:15.584
I'm this or a female that's pretending to be Miss Polly Princess.

00:48:15.584 --> 00:48:19.884
But she's really not feeling that particular identity.

00:48:20.204 --> 00:48:23.504
And she has no one to talk to.

00:48:24.323 --> 00:48:30.223
If we could have more open spaces, and I'm talking about on a human level, fuck a title.

00:48:30.603 --> 00:48:35.683
I'm talking about on a human level. If we had more spaces where people could

00:48:35.683 --> 00:48:40.023
have real, true, vulnerable, and transparent conversations, man,

00:48:40.183 --> 00:48:42.203
this world would be a whole lot better.

00:48:42.983 --> 00:48:46.083
Heavy on the transparent. Heavy on the transparent. You can be honest,

00:48:46.203 --> 00:48:49.263
but everybody's not transparent. We got to stop tackling that.

00:48:50.303 --> 00:48:54.743
We got to stop tackling that. Here's the thing. And what I learned from my men's

00:48:54.743 --> 00:48:58.743
group is that men think transparency is an opening.

00:48:59.083 --> 00:49:03.663
Men think that transparency is an opening for them to be wounded.

00:49:03.843 --> 00:49:09.663
Because if you become transparent, then you're opening yourself up and being vulnerable.

00:49:10.123 --> 00:49:14.303
So opening yourself up and being vulnerable is letting your walls down.

00:49:14.463 --> 00:49:19.343
And so now you're open for a tech. And that's what a lot of people feel like

00:49:19.343 --> 00:49:24.683
being transparent and vulnerable is not the thing to be, because if I tell you

00:49:24.683 --> 00:49:27.623
my secret, then you're going to attack me.

00:49:28.043 --> 00:49:34.463
For example, about six weeks ago on my platform, because I'm the host,

00:49:34.543 --> 00:49:38.303
so I have to be vulnerable and transparent in my platform.

00:49:38.763 --> 00:49:42.963
So I announced, no, it was October, October.

00:49:43.143 --> 00:49:47.243
It was October. Yeah, it was October because we were, me and the wife were about

00:49:47.243 --> 00:49:49.363
to get on a cruise ship. It was in October.

00:49:49.703 --> 00:49:55.583
And I came across and I shared a story that when I was younger,

00:49:55.583 --> 00:49:59.043
I was molested by a female and a male.

00:49:59.983 --> 00:50:07.723
I was molested. So understanding at between 12 and 13 when these things happen.

00:50:08.343 --> 00:50:13.563
Okay. Between 12 and 13 is when those things happen. And,

00:50:14.358 --> 00:50:18.978
For a while there, I fought with my sexuality because I'm a 12,

00:50:19.138 --> 00:50:22.358
13-year-old boy, and I don't know what's going on.

00:50:23.018 --> 00:50:26.838
You know what I'm saying? This person has did these things to me.

00:50:27.198 --> 00:50:30.518
Now, on one side, it felt good. On the other side, it felt bad.

00:50:31.478 --> 00:50:35.858
You understand what I'm saying? Definitely. And I had this conversation with

00:50:35.858 --> 00:50:41.398
a group of men on my platform, and it was received very well.

00:50:41.698 --> 00:50:44.998
A lot of them were mad. A lot of them didn't know, you know,

00:50:45.138 --> 00:50:49.058
because some of these guys I know in real life, some of them I don't know in real life.

00:50:50.118 --> 00:50:56.518
But to understand that I came out and I said that another gentleman came out

00:50:56.518 --> 00:50:58.118
and said he was also sexually assaulted.

00:50:58.418 --> 00:51:04.418
But he said he didn't know how to have that conversation because he always thought

00:51:04.418 --> 00:51:05.578
that he would get judged.

00:51:05.578 --> 00:51:10.138
And he thought that people would look at him differently by even saying those

00:51:10.138 --> 00:51:14.458
words, by even letting the words come out of his mouth, you know,

00:51:14.638 --> 00:51:17.238
but it's all about humanity.

00:51:17.238 --> 00:51:20.478
And it's about changing the narrative, bro. That's what I'm about.

00:51:20.578 --> 00:51:21.858
I'm about changing the narrative.

00:51:22.058 --> 00:51:29.258
I'm about changing the way people view us as men because they view us as angry,

00:51:29.558 --> 00:51:33.758
as upset, as emotional, as, you know,

00:51:34.802 --> 00:51:38.742
You're valued at what you can produce in these days and times.

00:51:39.042 --> 00:51:44.922
Your value is put on where you work at, what kind of car you drive,

00:51:45.162 --> 00:51:46.942
where you live at, all those things.

00:51:47.382 --> 00:51:51.542
But your value was given to you by God.

00:51:51.962 --> 00:51:58.982
Right, right, right. But we've let man dictate our value by monetary things.

00:51:59.142 --> 00:52:02.562
That's not where our value lies.

00:52:03.682 --> 00:52:06.942
So that's why I said the things you do are amazing.

00:52:07.322 --> 00:52:11.542
Whether it's letting somebody borrow your clothes, whether it's giving some

00:52:11.542 --> 00:52:16.982
advice to someone, whether it's feeding someone, whether it's telling your testimony

00:52:16.982 --> 00:52:20.182
and giving the glory of God and what he's done to you.

00:52:20.582 --> 00:52:25.682
I think that's amazing, my brother. And to hear you have this nonprofit to where

00:52:25.682 --> 00:52:32.842
you want to help people understand their value all over again is amazing.

00:52:33.122 --> 00:52:40.682
Like you said, whether you 12, 15, 25, 35, 45, you're helping people understand

00:52:40.682 --> 00:52:45.122
that they're still valuable and that we all make mistakes.

00:52:46.523 --> 00:52:52.443
Misusage of a substance is not your end-all be-all definitely i'm here to tell

00:52:52.443 --> 00:52:57.763
you that living testimony it is not like don't let spirit don't let principalities

00:52:57.763 --> 00:53:00.503
and man make you feel like that

00:53:00.503 --> 00:53:05.243
that it is that it is that's right i'm not gonna get all preachy but yeah.

00:53:06.823 --> 00:53:09.543
That's the way that's the way it goes listen man i

00:53:09.543 --> 00:53:13.163
tell people all the time my platform ain't church but sometimes

00:53:13.163 --> 00:53:16.543
it gets preachy brother sometimes a sermon

00:53:16.543 --> 00:53:19.903
will start and somebody will get to preaching and i just

00:53:19.903 --> 00:53:25.643
have to say amen brother listen because god gets in there when god comes in

00:53:25.643 --> 00:53:31.283
we can't stop him oh so yeah man i think and i think god that for people that

00:53:31.283 --> 00:53:32.663
there's people like you on this

00:53:32.663 --> 00:53:39.063
earth that still have the intentions of bringing a world peace i guess,

00:53:39.763 --> 00:53:41.543
I guess you could sum it up as that, you know?

00:53:41.843 --> 00:53:46.483
Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, like, it may be impossible, you know?

00:53:46.683 --> 00:53:50.543
And none of us is Jesus. But, like, if there's people in this world,

00:53:50.563 --> 00:53:56.363
in my proximity that think and that feel like you, I'm honored to be in the

00:53:56.363 --> 00:54:00.663
same space, no matter what that monetary value may look like to be in front of people like you.

00:54:00.743 --> 00:54:03.843
And I just appreciate you for giving me this opportunity and platform to even

00:54:03.843 --> 00:54:06.303
reflect on things like this, brother. I'm forever grateful, man.

00:54:06.443 --> 00:54:09.503
Man, listen, ain't no monetary nothing, man. And we are, like you said,

00:54:09.623 --> 00:54:10.623
it's all about humanity.

00:54:10.863 --> 00:54:14.083
And for me, it's all about people. It's all about healing.

00:54:14.903 --> 00:54:17.203
I created what I'm going, what I have.

00:54:17.869 --> 00:54:23.529
Because it's something that I didn't know I needed. As I stated previously, I'm 46 years old.

00:54:23.689 --> 00:54:28.089
When I was 26 years old, I needed this space. You understand what I'm saying?

00:54:28.389 --> 00:54:32.089
I grew up in a single parent home, the oldest of three boys.

00:54:32.689 --> 00:54:39.449
And I grew up in a different environment where a lot of people grew up in homes

00:54:39.449 --> 00:54:41.089
where domestic violence happened.

00:54:41.329 --> 00:54:47.289
And they watched their fathers beat their moms. And I grew up in a totally different dynamics.

00:54:47.889 --> 00:54:51.869
So because of said trauma that my mother had from her youth,

00:54:52.149 --> 00:54:53.749
my mother was the aggressor.

00:54:53.949 --> 00:54:59.069
My mother, I watched my mother beat every man she had ever been married to my

00:54:59.069 --> 00:55:01.889
whole entire life until I was 24 years old.

00:55:02.609 --> 00:55:06.809
And by the time I was 24 years old, she met the man that she's married to right now.

00:55:06.929 --> 00:55:11.149
They've never had a physical altercation as long as I've known.

00:55:12.049 --> 00:55:15.729
But that came from a trauma my mother inquired

00:55:15.729 --> 00:55:19.509
when she was 17 or 18 years old and

00:55:19.509 --> 00:55:22.689
it was attached to a very important moment

00:55:22.689 --> 00:55:28.609
in her life but now i tell i tell i've been married numerous times because i've

00:55:28.609 --> 00:55:35.789
been chasing i've been chasing that thing for years i think god i think god

00:55:35.789 --> 00:55:39.509
finally put me with the right woman because i wasn't chasing this woman and

00:55:39.509 --> 00:55:40.629
nor was she chasing and me,

00:55:40.789 --> 00:55:43.229
God put us together because he knew we needed each other.

00:55:43.989 --> 00:55:50.229
But I tell every woman that I've ever been with, if we have to get physical,

00:55:50.709 --> 00:55:55.629
get mad enough to where we get physical and we have to put our hands on each

00:55:55.629 --> 00:55:57.389
other, I don't want to be there.

00:55:57.829 --> 00:56:01.929
I don't want to be there. I have to pack my things and leave because I never

00:56:01.929 --> 00:56:04.049
want to be in that situation.

00:56:04.729 --> 00:56:08.069
So that's why I look for peace and humanity in whatever I do,

00:56:08.169 --> 00:56:15.229
bruh, because I live most of my childhood life living in a house where there was dysfunction. Yeah.

00:56:16.906 --> 00:56:20.886
I just want like right now I'm going through some things, nothing,

00:56:20.886 --> 00:56:24.986
nothing bad or major, but going through some things with my family right now.

00:56:25.226 --> 00:56:30.746
And my wife asked me, she's like, why are you, why are you responding to these

00:56:30.746 --> 00:56:32.726
situations in this manner?

00:56:32.866 --> 00:56:38.346
And I'm like, regardless if it's family, friends, whatever relationship it is,

00:56:38.346 --> 00:56:40.326
you have to protect yourself.

00:56:41.286 --> 00:56:44.626
You have to protect yourself because people ain't going to protect you.

00:56:44.786 --> 00:56:47.986
People are going to use you until they can't use you no more.

00:56:48.526 --> 00:56:52.146
They're going to use you until they can't use you no more.

00:56:52.346 --> 00:56:57.086
So that's why I give you your flowers for being who you are.

00:56:57.346 --> 00:56:59.466
Monetary ain't got shit to do with it.

00:57:00.906 --> 00:57:07.646
Humanality is help thy neighbor. They ain't say give your neighbor $25,

00:57:07.666 --> 00:57:10.846
$30, $100 to help your neighbor.

00:57:11.486 --> 00:57:14.846
If you had a cup of sugar, then you give your neighbor a cup of sugar.

00:57:15.286 --> 00:57:23.406
Yeah. If you can sew and your neighbor can fix a wall, then y'all trade it out.

00:57:23.546 --> 00:57:26.006
Okay, you need some pants to be sewed up? I'll sew your pants up.

00:57:26.046 --> 00:57:29.146
You come over and fix this hole up. And there was no monetary.

00:57:29.966 --> 00:57:34.046
I know the world is different. I know it's different now. I know we live in

00:57:34.046 --> 00:57:35.446
different days and different times.

00:57:37.606 --> 00:57:42.706
But people like you and me, we are very rare. We're very rare.

00:57:42.866 --> 00:57:44.806
And we are in small groups.

00:57:45.446 --> 00:57:47.926
But as long as we keep fighting, brother, we're going to make it.

00:57:48.626 --> 00:57:54.526
Yes, yes, yes, yes. We're going to make it. We're going to make a difference.

00:57:54.846 --> 00:58:00.766
Whether it's one person or it's 100 people, we're going to make a difference in somebody's life.

00:58:04.110 --> 00:58:06.450
Man, tell me about this dance stuff.

00:58:08.710 --> 00:58:15.530
Okay. So, yeah, I've always been, I've learned to, I was able to,

00:58:16.810 --> 00:58:20.150
I learned how to dance in the living room. Okay. I never, I didn't grow up in no classes.

00:58:21.930 --> 00:58:26.330
Watching little Cheetah Girls on YouTube videos and trying to copy the moves.

00:58:26.830 --> 00:58:33.650
I always had this natural affinity towards dance. and my late partner who passed away also in 2019.

00:58:34.270 --> 00:58:36.890
I mean, I used to be married myself, widowed.

00:58:37.730 --> 00:58:41.950
They have the skill set to dance. I used to always take dance classes to come

00:58:41.950 --> 00:58:44.050
back and teach me what they learned.

00:58:44.710 --> 00:58:49.130
So, like, the technical standpoint, everything I've learned,

00:58:49.170 --> 00:58:52.130
I've learned on the back end or through the living room.

00:58:53.030 --> 00:58:59.450
And that, in combination with my gift, It has allowed me to pick up choreography

00:58:59.450 --> 00:59:01.570
faster. I look good doing it.

00:59:02.070 --> 00:59:05.610
So, like, while I've never grown up, you know, in those dance competitions and

00:59:05.610 --> 00:59:08.790
everything like that, I've naturally had the gift of dance and performing.

00:59:09.130 --> 00:59:13.290
And that's eventually brought me to joining an organization called Music City

00:59:13.290 --> 00:59:18.850
All Stars, which was founded by a few gifted dancers here in Nashville, Tennessee.

00:59:19.570 --> 00:59:25.170
And they got a hold of me and they have had it molding me, teaching me the history

00:59:25.170 --> 00:59:30.070
behind J setting and marching band and that kind of dance and that's in bogan

00:59:30.070 --> 00:59:34.230
and ballroom and the ballroom scene, House of Schiaparelli, so the whole bogan,

00:59:34.530 --> 00:59:37.810
all that, you know, I've been able to.

00:59:38.719 --> 00:59:44.299
To develop my gift enough to where I can be in these spaces and perform just

00:59:44.299 --> 00:59:47.639
as well as others who've been doing it for years, all their lives.

00:59:48.199 --> 00:59:52.839
And I'm currently in real time teaching at an after-school program,

00:59:53.099 --> 00:59:57.659
a library, little girls, and I'm also in the ballroom scene.

00:59:57.899 --> 01:00:02.439
I just came back from Atlanta and walking the ball, performing. Yeah.

01:00:03.259 --> 01:00:07.439
Walking back from there, you know, like, just getting my feet out there and

01:00:07.439 --> 01:00:09.459
spending that network of it all.

01:00:09.619 --> 01:00:11.779
You know, that's a whole other world in itself. It is.

01:00:12.419 --> 01:00:16.039
You know, a whole other world. A whole other world, brother.

01:00:16.299 --> 01:00:19.959
So it's like, yes, like, that's my, that's my history with dance.

01:00:20.119 --> 01:00:24.699
That's my, that's my history and my stint with dance. I'm still developing my gift of dance.

01:00:24.819 --> 01:00:28.439
I'm still learning to step into my culture of leadership and recognizing that,

01:00:28.979 --> 01:00:32.039
oh, nigga, okay, you better than the average dancer, nigga. Lean into that more.

01:00:32.179 --> 01:00:34.919
Stop being so meek with your leadership style, you know. So,

01:00:35.399 --> 01:00:38.859
you know, I'm still developing my identity as a dancer, but that's what I do.

01:00:39.059 --> 01:00:41.519
I have no problem shaking it. I got you.

01:00:42.419 --> 01:00:46.599
Now, I appreciate you coming on here, and I appreciate us having this conversation.

01:00:46.599 --> 01:00:49.979
I got a few little questions before we go, and then I'm going to get you to

01:00:49.979 --> 01:00:54.939
shout out all the things you got going on at the end of this conversation.

01:00:55.459 --> 01:00:59.339
But I always ask my guests three questions. All right.

01:00:59.719 --> 01:01:02.899
Nothing to, if you don't want to ask them, they're not personal,

01:01:02.979 --> 01:01:05.239
personal, but they're personal. But if you don't want to ask them,

01:01:05.299 --> 01:01:06.739
you don't ask them. But I got three questions.

01:01:07.679 --> 01:01:13.359
If you could if you could describe your perfect mate, what would you describe

01:01:13.359 --> 01:01:14.739
him? How would you describe him?

01:01:16.106 --> 01:01:21.966
Black, or too assertive, a solution finder,

01:01:22.746 --> 01:01:29.526
God-fearing, family-oriented, compassionate, selfless, but still grounded enough

01:01:29.526 --> 01:01:31.426
to make selfish decisions.

01:01:33.946 --> 01:01:37.526
Financially responsible, but still generous. I don't want to buy this.

01:01:38.066 --> 01:01:42.026
And yeah, can't be on the God-fearing. Okay. Okay.

01:01:43.566 --> 01:01:49.066
So, what is Jalen's go-to snack?

01:01:49.406 --> 01:01:53.026
Like, if you, if you, we get off of this thing right now, and you're like,

01:01:53.106 --> 01:01:57.386
man, I'm going to go ahead and grab me some Oreos or some ice cream or a little dip.

01:01:57.586 --> 01:02:01.286
What is Jalen's go-to snack?

01:02:02.346 --> 01:02:05.286
I got some Reese's. I got some cookies and cream ice cream.

01:02:05.606 --> 01:02:10.586
I got some cookies and cream ice cream. I'm sure I'm going to give you that. Give me that.

01:02:13.306 --> 01:02:18.546
If there's anything here's my last question and then I want you to shout out

01:02:18.546 --> 01:02:27.326
everything you got going on if there's anything you could go back and tell 15

01:02:27.326 --> 01:02:29.466
year old jailer what would it be,

01:02:31.167 --> 01:02:35.887
But don't let people water down your eclecticness and how different you are.

01:02:36.647 --> 01:02:41.187
Be able to express that in any space, in any place that you're in,

01:02:41.387 --> 01:02:44.267
because somebody in that space needs it just as much as you did.

01:02:44.827 --> 01:02:46.367
And that's what I would tell myself.

01:02:46.947 --> 01:02:50.367
Man, that's beautiful. That's beautiful.

01:02:50.987 --> 01:02:58.707
And I tell you what, the answers you gave on the spouse, that is pretty, that's great.

01:02:58.707 --> 01:03:03.807
And I've asked that question to women and men because I've interviewed women and men.

01:03:05.507 --> 01:03:10.407
And most of the time the women want physical attributes,

01:03:11.747 --> 01:03:17.707
and a lot of times the women, the men they want,

01:03:18.887 --> 01:03:23.527
they're not basically the same but not as much as yours but most women,

01:03:23.747 --> 01:03:29.567
you gotta be six foot tall, I wanted to be this I wanted to be that You know,

01:03:29.967 --> 01:03:32.767
but the spiritual aspect of it, I like that.

01:03:33.027 --> 01:03:39.167
I like that more. And then you said generous, but selfish at the same time.

01:03:39.407 --> 01:03:44.127
You described me when he said, cause I'm generous with my wife,

01:03:44.207 --> 01:03:45.947
but I'm selfish at the same time.

01:03:46.187 --> 01:03:51.587
Those are good attributes to look for in a spouse, man. That, that is amazing.

01:03:51.887 --> 01:03:55.107
That is amazing that that's what you're looking for in a spouse.

01:03:55.107 --> 01:03:59.927
And I hope that you are everything that you're looking for in a spouse.

01:04:00.347 --> 01:04:03.447
Because you can't expect your spouse to be...

01:04:04.709 --> 01:04:11.749
A mirroring image of you, but you want them to be a glance of who you are.

01:04:11.969 --> 01:04:13.949
It's like me and my wife right now.

01:04:14.189 --> 01:04:19.509
We are similar, but so different because she's generous, but selfish.

01:04:20.009 --> 01:04:24.649
She's caring and loving, but she's an asshole at the same time.

01:04:24.929 --> 01:04:28.969
I'm caring and loving, but I'm an asshole at the same time.

01:04:29.229 --> 01:04:32.889
But we accent each other. You understand what I'm saying?

01:04:32.889 --> 01:04:35.829
When i'm down she's up

01:04:35.829 --> 01:04:42.189
when she's down i'm up and it took me a long time to get to this point to where

01:04:42.189 --> 01:04:48.729
i'm at to understand true relationships and true partnerships because we like

01:04:48.729 --> 01:04:55.409
you said 17 18 19 20 21 we think we grown i was married at the first time for the first time at 22.

01:04:56.849 --> 01:05:00.409
Wasn't ready I was a dad at 20 was married

01:05:00.409 --> 01:05:03.989
by 22 wasn't to my no games right but

01:05:03.989 --> 01:05:06.929
not to my child's mom I was married to a different woman

01:05:06.929 --> 01:05:14.169
I'm on my fourth marriage but at the same hand it took God like I said it took

01:05:14.169 --> 01:05:20.289
God to put this woman in my life because our testimony is God didn't give us

01:05:20.289 --> 01:05:24.269
what we wanted he gave us what we needed and that's what a lot of people need

01:05:24.269 --> 01:05:25.809
to understand in relationships.

01:05:26.229 --> 01:05:31.149
You can go out here and you can look for this physical, what you're physically

01:05:31.149 --> 01:05:36.249
attracted to, but what you're physically attracted to, has it all...

01:05:36.249 --> 01:05:39.509
The honest to God's question that people don't ask themselves is,

01:05:39.689 --> 01:05:43.809
what I'm physically attracted to, is it good for me?

01:05:44.649 --> 01:05:47.769
Has it been good for me? That's the thing.

01:05:48.049 --> 01:05:53.989
Has what I'm physically attracted to been good for me or good to me?

01:05:55.069 --> 01:05:56.229
A lot of people don't.

01:05:57.449 --> 01:05:59.229
So, yeah, I can hear you now.

01:06:00.550 --> 01:06:05.190
So, shout out everything you got going on, and we going to get out of here,

01:06:05.290 --> 01:06:07.150
man. It's been a great conversation.

01:06:07.330 --> 01:06:12.450
Shout out. I want your nonprofit. I want your village. I want everything.

01:06:13.030 --> 01:06:16.650
Say it for everybody. Say it for the people in the back.

01:06:17.390 --> 01:06:21.630
All right, man. Man, shout out. This is Jalen Henry, man.

01:06:21.970 --> 01:06:25.410
Shout out CEO and founder of Recovery for you.

01:06:25.670 --> 01:06:29.610
Shout out to 413 Strong. Shout out to Brother Eric Evans. Shout out to Pastor

01:06:29.610 --> 01:06:33.230
Dr. William Green. Shout out to the YMCA, Northwest YMCA.

01:06:33.750 --> 01:06:40.990
Shout out to American Baptist College. Shout out to Music City All-Stars. Shout out to God.

01:06:41.810 --> 01:06:48.350
Shout out to everybody. Shout out to God. Shout out to any, thank you and shout

01:06:48.350 --> 01:06:52.430
out in advance to anybody who's on this journey with me.

01:06:52.590 --> 01:06:56.010
And shout out to you, Brother Joe, for having me be here, brother.

01:06:56.350 --> 01:07:00.870
Yeah, that's it. Man, thank you for being here with me. Thank you for being

01:07:00.870 --> 01:07:02.810
honest. Thank you for being open.

01:07:03.250 --> 01:07:05.710
Thank you for having this conversation with me.

01:07:07.210 --> 01:07:12.250
Man, like I said, we're going to have to get together on a personal,

01:07:12.610 --> 01:07:14.230
you know, outside of this.

01:07:14.370 --> 01:07:16.310
We're here. You know what I'm saying? We're going to get together.

01:07:16.490 --> 01:07:18.230
We're going to sit down. We're going to talk about some things.

01:07:18.350 --> 01:07:21.710
I'm going to introduce you to some of my people. You can introduce me to some of your people.

01:07:22.550 --> 01:07:25.530
We're locked in. Man, we're going to do some stuff together.

01:07:25.530 --> 01:07:28.890
The 2026 I'm all about collabing with people I'm all

01:07:28.890 --> 01:07:32.590
about collabing so anything I can do to help you I'm open

01:07:32.590 --> 01:07:37.630
if if it's something that I have that you need you just get at me and I help

01:07:37.630 --> 01:07:41.670
you out and I hope I hope I can get the same in return from you don't gotta

01:07:41.670 --> 01:07:48.510
hope we here now we here we locked in we locked in we locked in all right my

01:07:48.510 --> 01:07:52.490
brother you have a great night and Thank you for being here with me.

01:07:53.150 --> 01:07:54.930
All right, brother Joe. Thank you, man. I'll talk to you soon.

01:07:55.310 --> 01:07:58.890
All righty, sir. All right, B-roll. Bye-bye. All right.